Through A Mirror Darkly
by Queen
Summary: Fate. It's a funny thing. Can it be changed? Or is it set in stone? If given the chance to change history, would you take it? -A living Kikyou. A helpless Onigumo. Make your choice. (complete)
1. Prologue

~_Prologue_~

* * *

_Fifteen_.

It was a number Kagome felt somewhat connected to. After all, it was on her fifteenth birthday that she had first fallen through a magical well, and into a story that would defy all rationality, possiblity, and logic. Travel through time seemed the stuff of science fiction, of fantasy. This, though, was life, her life, strange as it had become. Running back and forth could drive her crazy, but the adventures she shared in the sengoku jidai were like nothing else in her world- she felt alive, real, strong. She had friends there, so different from those in this modern day and age, when science had ruled out magic, and youkai seemed to be a thing of folklore.

And, over time, she had fallen in love.

Demanding, tempermental, often rude, she somehow saw beneath a layer of roughness and found someone very different. Lonely, alone.

She knew she got irritated with him often, particularly in their earlier journeys. Three days was _not_ enough time to study. Tests were becoming more and more a part of her life, and fighting youkai in the past was not a good excuse to tell the teacher when he wanted to know why the score of a girl who was usually so bright was nothing more than a lowly fifteen.

_Fifteen._

Accepting the test back from her sensei's admonishing hand, she had quietly looked at the score on the top of her exam, etched in red ink. It stood starkly against the crisp white paper and the black ink of the questions, her penciled grey answers faded, almost as though ashamed to appear. Nothing came to mind- no shock, no frantic promises she would study harder, improve her grades. Math had always been her weak point, and if she worked harder, just a little harder, she could pass, if she just had one more chance. Just one more chance.

The paper was still in her hands, held tightly in her fists. She had responsibilities in the sengoku jidai. Naraku was in possession of the majority of the Shikon no Tama, and the fighting had been so intense lately. Studying had faded into the background, becoming nothingness.

Despite this, the terrifying feeling of numbess at her failing grade had worn away. She had work to do in the past, to correct things, to make them right.

_But as she leapt into the well..._

_She couldn't help but wish..._

_That she never_

_had to fight at all..._

* * *

_Through A Mirror Darkly_


	2. WonderlanD

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_I live in shades of black and white._  
_I am drawn to the dark..._  
_I rise to the lure of the lights._  
_I am seduced by the pulsating,_  
_Pounding sounds that spell danger._  
_I am in constant conflict._  
_I am touched by the sweet,_  
_The good, the kind._  
_I am passionate about the dark,_  
_The tumultuous._

_I am ripped apart...torn in two by_  
_The battles I fight within my heart._

_- from 'The Myth of Red' Sasha Lazard_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 1- WonderlanD

It was a most extraordinary place, the river of time that cascaded through the portal between eras. Energies floated and turned before Kagome's eyes as she drowned in the sea of the centuries, sinking downward and through, falling deeper into the well and awaiting the contact of her feet against the smooth dirt floor of the Bone Eater's well of the past. Though tumbling into it, she chased no white rabbits, but instead a destiny that she was shaping with her own hands, with the help of those friends who were kind and loyal towards her. Seeing those faces was reassuring, and it made her feel stronger.

The passage through time usually felt warm, welcoming, enveloping her and encouraging her to return, to come back, to stay in the wonderland she had been forced to discover, dragged there by a many armed youkai, who was now little more than a vague memory. The centipede was history now, long gone, and had it not been the creature that dragged Kagome back, it would have been forgotten as merely another random attacker in a greater quest.

Shikon no Tama.

Down, descending, Kagome clutched it in her hands, the little bottle with the few tiny slivers their group had managed to collect...and keep. Such a large portion Naraku now held; his powers were growing, and his influence lay upon the land darkly. Had he never held any of it, life would have been much simpler. The other youkai they had faced holding the pieces were of less power and relevance. Though often causing fights, they always managed to come through somehow. It was Naraku that caused the problems, and all things ended up cycling back to him. Find Naraku, kill Naraku, take the shards, and then...do something. The happily ever after was supposed to come, or at least something along those lines. Though there were times Kagome felt fear, not really knowing how her ending would be. Would she live in the past, with her friends, and live as Kagome, the one who protected the Shikon no Tama? A Kagome who was surely by then to be considered a miko? The Kagome who loved a hanyou? Or would she live in the future with her family, remaining a daughter in that shrine family, only known as Higurashi Kagome?

A slight chill caressed the back of her neck, reaching the skin that was normally warmed from the thick curtain of her dark hair. The magics that eddied and swirled around her in the stream of time were a startide rising, rushing her in the direction that they wished. Time was a lucid thing, changing and sweeping in new directions as it best see fit, paying only passing heed to the spinning of the Fates. After all, the threads of people's lives made an intricate tapestry when they met, and there were many ways to work a loom.

Those few crystal silvers of the heart of Midoriko rang in the silence, glowing within their bottle as Kagome's feet touched the surface of the earth, then dimming into their usual opaque clarity.

Kagome sighed and adjusted the straps of the oversized yellow rucksack on her back. She'd weighed it down too much again, taking along an extra book on remedial geometry. Buying it on her way home had made her cheeks burn with embarrassment; handing the money to the clerk had felt like she was accepting her failure, and though it also showed her resolution to improve, it still weighed heavily on her shoulders. Succeed in the sengoku jidai, fail in the modern era. It really wasn't fair. Teachers should give extra credit to students living a double life. She wondered if this was how superheroes felt. The ridiculous mental image of herself in spandex and a cape made her laugh for a moment, shaking her head. Yes, she could be Super Miko, defeater of all youkai! Sango-chan could be the Taiji-ya, her trusty sidekick, and Inuyasha some mysterious, dashing, not-quite-villain who always helped her out in the end. Well, okay, maybe not _dashing..._

The image of Inuyasha in superhero spandex seemed even more ridiculous, and it made her chuckle again, shaking her head and trying to remember that she needed to get a bit more serious now.

Her voice echoed up the well hopefully. "Inuyasha?"

The name vibrated off the stone walls, and she waited a moment before grasping the heavy vines that dangled down to the well's bottom, hauling herself upward slowly, the weight of her pack dragging her down. She was a little late...she'd promised to arrive that morning, and it was already past noon. Buying the geometry tutorial and getting packed took longer than she expected, allowing herself to dally in the future's safety. Tossing her bag over the side first, she squirmed over the wooden ledge, landing in a crouch and brushing herself off as she stood up and reset the baggage on her back.

The clearing around the well was empty. She sighed, first in relief and then in disappointment. A couple hours of tardiness usually brought Inuyasha sniffing around the well, and it would have been helpful if he had arrived to carry her pack for her. He tossed it around like it was nothing. Must be nice to be that strong. Still, it was only a couple hours, and there really was no rule stating that she _had_ to be greeted by an annoyed looking hanyou every time she passed through a little late. Who knew? Maybe the others found some clue to another shard, or something came up...hopefully nothing bad.

Kagome lengthened her stride as a little bit of worry set in. If they had just headed off to follow a lead, that was fine...there really was no rule stating that they_ had _to just sit around and wait for her to return before trotting off into mortal peril. Though if someone was hurt, that was entirely different, and she wanted to get to the village to find out what was going on. Maybe she was just overreacting. Worrying too much. Doing badly on a test had her nitpicking over nothing. Everything seemed fine, after all. The trees of the forest were still lush and evergreen, leaves turned out sharply, though a bit less bright than usual, the sky being overcast and clouded, the color of polished steel.

So too were the rice paddies, laid out in their network of grids, reflecting the cloudy sky, backlit by the sun, shrouding its warmth and giving the air the slightest of chills, though the air lacked any humidity. Wind danced across the broad patches of water, forming small ripples that faded away into the edges of their pools. The path to the village was damp beneath Kagome's feet, clods of still slightly soft brown dirt the remaining evidence of an earlier rain.

The air was so clear here. No smog or industrial smells, no gas exhaust or the odor of garbage, a thousand little unpleasant odors that she ignored in the future, blocking them out. Here, it was different, the air was crisp and scented lightly with plants and water from the fields. The difference was striking when she paid attention to it. Pure. The weeds that sprang up alongside the paddies seemed to add to their charm, yellow dandelions peppering her path. Even patches of blue irises bloomed in the deeper corners, their roots digging deep into the mud and clinging. At home, the dandelions in sidewalks and streets would be crushed, pulled, or poisoned with weedkiller, and the irises collected for some fanciful floral arrangement.

Time could create quite a difference in a place.

It was then she realized how quiet it was. Not just normal quiet, filled with insects clattering and birds chirping or flitting through the rickety branches of trees. Those sounds were gone, vanished into the air they existed in. Instead, muted sounds of people were catching on the faint breeze, carried to her ears the way a particular scent was.

Smoke.

Kagome hesitated for a moment, eyes sweeping upward across the hillock leading to the village and searching out the source of the smell. It wasn't strong, and the wind was light enough not to carry the burning scent to her quickly. Somewhere, amid the ambling huts and shacks of the village, three thin pillars of smoke rose, columns fading into the steely sky and vanishing into heavenly oblivion.

Picking up her pace again, she looked towards her usual destination, hesitating a moment when she realized it was not there. Moving, this time breaking into a light run, a confused feeling began to swell up inside her, puzzled at the absence of Kaede's hut on the edge of town. The slope leading up towards the village was there, she was following the right path, same as always, but the hut was not where it was supposed to be.

No fence hemmed in the elderly lady's space, no garden was laid out full of healing herbs. No darkening or depression of the ground where the wooden floor would have touched.

Kagome bit her lip and glanced again up the hill. The acrid scent was stronger since she was closer, and from there she could see women running about through the gaps in the houses, scurrying back and forth like mice. She looked back at the empty space. If Kaede-baachan's hut was gone, where was she? In the village?

She began to run up the steps on the hill, ignoring the way her rucksack banged jarringly against her backside, pushing herself a bit more and going up the steps two at a time, reaching the top and rushing forward to look around.

The scene that greeted her made her blood run cold.

Men lay on mats across the soft earth, scattered in small rows where women were tending them, stooped and cleaning wounds, or moving from one group to the next with pails of water or bandages. Soft sounds of moaning rose into the air, mingling with the pillars of smoke and drifting away. Those that had been cared for showed heavy dressings, strips of cloth wrapped over good portions of their bodies, as though their attackers had been considerably larger than they.

The word escaped Kagome's lips breathlessly. "Youkai...?"

Creaking interrupted her thoughts, and a pair of healthy men ran towards the other side of the village, where a cart was rolling to a stop, a weary horse hanging its head to the ground as its load was slowly removed. Several women left their positions and began to help haul the other men down, these more battered than the group already spread outside the homes. A few had field dressings, though staccato screams came from those who were more badly injured, while dirty, festering wounds broke open when their positions were disturbed. Ragged, they were collapsing to the ground despite the helping hands uplifting them.

Kagome began to recoil from the sight on instinct, edging back a step and holding her hand over her nose and mouth as horror began to turn her stomach. She had seen these signs before; the bloody injuries, the heavy casualties, the uneven, jagged slashes across the chests and legs and arms of the men. She had seen them at Sango's village, and other places that had been attacked by many youkai, acting in cohesion. Had Naraku sent them? No, no, it couldn't be, something wasn't right. The village itself...the houses, the houses were all intact. The village couldn't be the target. Nothing was on fire, nothing was destroyed. Just people. Faces she didn't know. Many of them. Was there an attack somewhere else then? Were they being brought here? Of course, the cart. They were being carted in and tended to. Then Kaede must be around somewhere helping them. Shippou was probably with her. Sango-chan and Miroku-sama would be around too, though Inuyasha was likely to be running around the village...that was where he was, instead of sniffing around the well, waiting impatiently.

She made a fist out of her raised hand, steeling to help. Over the last few months, she'd been learning quite a bit about taking care of the injured while traveling. Listening to Kaede while they were in the village was also enlightening, adding understanding to all the wild flora she passed in various journeys. A more determined look settled across her features, eyes sharpening as she started moving forward, searching for one of her friends for some update on what had happened, and for finding out where she should start.

Why weren't there any guards up? That made no sense. A couple of the villagers were toting farming equipment, rakes and hoes, but those were hardly enough to defend if a youkai did follow the injured back here. Where were the archers? They were usually more organized than this, since Kaede was getting too old to fight off every single youkai that decided it wanted to come around. Her lips drew into a thin line, the corners downturned. Where was everyone? These people couldn't _all _be from another village. She turned around a bit, scanning for familiar faces among the crowd. The healthy looked too busy to acknowledge the presence of the schoolgirl, and the ailing stared up at her with glazed eyes.

"Sango-chan!" Kagome called, picking her way quickly around a line of mats, causing a couple heads to lift. She smiled weakly and nodded politely in acknowledgment at one woman, whose eyes widened as she moved past. "Miroku-sama?" She turned again, following the scent of smoke. The largest of the three fires came into her sight as she rounded a corner, trying to ignore the few stares she was earning with her shouts. Just as she thought they were getting used to her clothes, too. She lifted her head up again and began to call out another name, but the word died in her throat as she saw her first familiar face, one eerily reminiscent of her own.

"Kikyou?"

The miko was bent beside one of the fallen, her cherry colored hakama pooling around her lap, earth clinging to its loose hem. Her movements were precise and orderly, fingers flying as she attempted to remove and redress the bandages that were so thickly wound around the struggling man's side. A heavy smock covered her, greyed from wear and showing fresh blood and grit smears, though her flowing sleeves remained white, bundled back with thick cord to keep them from her way.

As the word fell from Kagome's lips, Kikyou's head lifted as though she heard her name called, searching for the source. Pale blue eyes met pale blue eyes, and Kikyou's brows drew down hard as she scanned the girl across from her.

"You! Come here!"

The words lashed out in a healer's command, and Kagome started at the tone, reacting to the authority and the situation, only hesitating again a moment later when she reminded herself who was summoning her.

A wildness showed in Kagome's eyes as she tried to decide what to do. Kikyou, here, in the town, helping the villagers? Why? Since when? Where was Kaede-baachan? For that matter, where were the shinidama-chuu? The insectile youkai should have been hovering around such a scene if Kikyou were here, collecting the souls of those who were less fortunate, dying from their wounds. This scene, of Kikyou nearly wrestling down a full grown man amid the casualties of an attack, seemed out of place, a piece of puzzle that did not fit.

"Quickly!" Kikyou's voice cracked again, as her attention snapped back to the man, now thrashing against her, eyes bulging as his arms flailed, choking noises burbling from his throat instead of screams.

Kagome moved before she gave it more thought, shedding her rucksack into the soft ground with a thud, and kneeling on the man's other side, grabbing at his arms and applying what strength she had to restrain him. He nearly succeeded in throwing her off when Kikyou stopped for a moment to grab a cloth from a sack beside her, quickly saturating it in liquid, then covering the man's nose and mouth. Breathing in air through the damp cloth, he stiffened and froze, his body then crumpling and he lay still. "Hold this there, carefully," Kikyou instructed, and when Kagome hesitated again at her order, she grabbed the schoolgirl's wrist and placed her hand over the cloth. "The ether will keep him quiet while I change the dressing. Hold it there, or he'll struggle again and make it worse."

The cloth felt slightly oily under Kagome's smooth fingers, tensing, though she reminded herself not to press too hard and accidentally smother him. His eyes were closed tightly, wincing unconsciously at the pain that graced his chest. That face, though, bothered her less than the determined one that was frowning down at the ragged lips of the wound. Kikyou ignored Kagome's gaze as she worked, moving back and forth between her bag of remedies and the injury. The claw that had sunk into the man had scraped at least three dirty nails across his flesh, and whoever had laid the field dressing either had not understood the concept of cleaning the wound first, or did not have the capability to do so. It was not yet festering, though the sides were a foul color, and the wound was deep. Painful. She glanced at the pail of water beside her, blood and dirt already turning the clear liquid a murky shade. Water, yes, fresh water first.

Kagome was startled out of her thoughts when Kikyou lifted her head again, eyes searching, finally settling on a group of huddled women. "Kaede!"

Her heart leapt for a moment, glad to hear the familiar name, though confused as to why Kikyou would be shouting for an old woman to run over to her side, to fetch whatever it was the miko seemed to need now. Arrogance? Kagome watched the group worriedly, but none of the women moved aside for an elderly lady to emerge. Instead, a little girl wriggled out of the group, ran three steps forward and stopped as Kikyou made a motion with her hand at the ground beside her, then at the man. The girl nodded quickly, then bolted across the clear space of the road, understanding the silent language. She grabbed up a bucket and filled it with clear water from a trough, scurrying over without sloshing out any of her cargo. Sliding to a stop, she handed over the water as she knelt down, arms outstretched.

"Here, Kikyou-oneesama."

_Here, Kikyou-oneesama._

"Arigatou, Kaede. Is the water low yet?"

"No, but it will be soon."

"Tell Maiko and Sawato to refill it. They're hiding in their grandmother's house, aren't they?"

"They don't like the blood much..." the girl demurred, looking away, trying not to fidget under a moment of scrutiny. Her eyes fell onto the wounds of the man, and though her eyes widened at the sight, she did not look away, though she did grow pale under her child's warm tan. Those same eyes slipped over to the curiously attired girl who was staring at her with such an alarmed look, and the girl wondered if the other had never seen the casualties of war.

"They don't have to be by it 'much' if they're hauling buckets from the river and refilling." Kikyou replied curtly. "They're not hurt, we need help, you get them moving."

Kagome watched as Kaede's lips drew thin, but she stood obediently and headed off at a run towards the other end of the village.

_Here, Kikyou-oneesama._

"Are you well, girl?" Kikyou's voice inquired, still sharp, though with a faint note of distraction as she produced another cloth, now submerging it in the new, cleaner water, and began to swipe away at the edges of the wound. "You do not seem injured. Were you attacked on your way here as well?"

Kagome sat silently, her hand still holding the anesthetic over the man's mouth, keeping him incapacitated. She struggled to think of words to say, as she tried to comprehend the exchange she witnessed. So casual, though so important.

"K...Kikyou?"

"Yes?" She glanced up for a moment to see the stranger openly staring at her with wide eyes. A slight frown twitched on her lips and she returned her attention to her patient. "I am the miko of this village. That was my younger sister, Kaede, a moment ago." Her hands flew from the man's side to her bag, pulling out packets of herbs and remedies that Kagome could not identify, so quickly they were chosen and replaced, mixed into a paste and then applied. At Kagome's continued silence, the miko's eyes flicked back up again to consider her for a moment, puzzling over why the girl seemed to be attempting to control panic.

"Ka..Kagome. My name. My name is Kagome..." she managed to stutter after a moment, looking at Kikyou's face and then after the retreated form of Kaede. Young. Kaede was young, her face smooth and unlike a withered apple. She did not wear the clothing of a miko, she did not have a patch over one of her brown eyes, and she did not have long grey hair tied back and trailing behind her. She was small and moved easily, not crooked like a branch and as stiff.

Kikyou's hand, when she had grabbed her wrist...her hand had been warm, firm and callused from work, but warm and alive. Kikyou was not supposed to be alive. She was supposed to be cold and timeless, hard like a statue and with as many emotions.

"You're a traveler?"

"Eh?" Kagome looked at Kikyou again, who had returned her attentions to her patient. "Ah, yes...yes, and I need...I need to go back..."

The well. The well would take her back. It always did. She would hop down into the well again, emerge out the other side and be home again. Home would be safe. Home. Home, yes, home, where she was supposed to be. Not this far in the past, not when Kaede-baachan was a little girl and Kikyou was alive and without her shinidama-chuu. This wasn't her time. This wasn't either of her times! What happened? Why was she here? Why was she brought here? What was here? What was happening? Why? _Why?_

"If you could wait until tomorrow to return to your journey, we could use your help," Kikyou told her, leaning back and picking up a wad of makeshift bandages, the cloth patterned with bright red flowers, the remains of someone's kimono. "Any help you could provide would be beneficial to the village. Help me set him up so I can cinch this around his waist."

Kagome blinked at the sudden turn to practicality in the same phrase, though perhaps from Kikyou's perspective, it was did not seem so abrupt. She needed help, both around the village and with this particular man. The desire to run back to the well warred with the fact she was finding herself propping up the man in her arms, letting the cloth fall from her fingers to the ground. She could feel him shuddering in the cool breeze now beginning to pick up, and though he seemed like one accustomed to hard travel, he was weak from his injury and needed care and aid. The village women were bunched around several spreads of mats and men, and another cart was now joining the first, piled more lightly, though with enough men to keep one set of hands at hard work for a very, very long time.

Kagome felt herself shiver as well.

What was right? Leave or go? Run or help?

_Here, Kikyou-oneesama._

"I'll help you."

Her hands were creased with dirt. Usually well filed, her tapered fingernails were rimmed with dirt and blood and grime. The fine lines that ran across her palms were smeared with bits of dried filth of unknown origin. Flexing her fingers, it felt like her skin would crack from dryness and dirty casing. Kagome had washed them a dozen times over the course of the afternoon and evening, trying to keep them sterile enough to touch her often reluctant patients. It was night now, the very last strands of red sunlight dying away into the west, letting the pale scimitar of the moon slice whitely through the clouds. That white light was added to by several torches, being posted around the village in addition to the few small bonfires that were established earlier in the day. Starlight was shrouded by dark clouds. Shadows leapt between the houses and the sleepers on the ground. They nearly hid Kagome as well, and if Kikyou's eyes were not so sharp, they nearly would have missed the strangely dressed girl, standing at the corner of a house, a large yellow rucksack at her feet, quietly staring at her hands.

Over the course of the day, Kikyou saw to it that the girl...Kagome, she claimed her name was...was given a smock to cover her clothes. Still, the dirt clearly bothered her. It clung and took more than a handwashing to remove. She had worked hard throughout the day, slightly nervous and jumpy, and at times, uncertain what to do. Though the knowledge was there. At least, in part. She had training, and though originally Kikyou suspected that the girl had never seen youkai wounds before, she admitted she was wrong, after watching her awhile longer. It wasn't the wounds, the scars, the blood...it was not disdain or disgust or simple fear. There was something else clouding her eyes, something strange and elusive.

And then there was her aura. It was warm and expansive, iridescent and glowing as softly and strongly as a bright full moon. Looking at her, Kikyou felt like she was looking in a mirror, a mirror that dimly reflected a younger version of herself, happier, more pleasant, though at the moment cast with an empty expression, as though lost.

"You're hungry by now, or should I not ask?"

Kagome's head snapped up to see Kikyou standing there, idly wiping her hands on her own stained apron. Though the older woman did not smile, an eyebrow was lifted inquisitively, with the faintest hint of humor to it, the caustic humor of one colleague to another, after a laborious day of work. Kagome, though, could not find the strength of heart to smile back. She merely looked at her hands again, now resisting the urge to wipe them on her smock the way Kikyou was.

The miko nodded slightly, accepting the silence and understanding a reluctance to speak, at least. "I assume you came from the opposite direction as the attack," Kikyou began, watching Kagome's face carefully for her reactions. There was a slight twist of her lips, and she folded her hands together, finally giving in to scratching at her apron with her palms, a vain attempt to clean them. "The injured were mostly from the next village, a few leagues from here. What set off the youkai, no one seems to know."

Kagome's eyes flicked up, and there was the slightest hint of suspicion reflected there before they were again clouded by doubt.

"Some of them though," Kikyou slid her eyes towards one of the nearer rows of pallets, "were an unknown traveling group. Bandits, or army deserters, most likely."

A faint nod.

"Thank you, for your help."

At those words, her head snapped up, eyes wide and mouth falling open, before she was able to hastily close herself off again. Curious, Kikyou found herself wondering why the most expansive reaction was to the simplest set of words. No worry over loved ones, if she was traveling to a nearby place. No anger over the destruction of the other village. No concern for her own safety, no wondering if other bandits may be around.

_Thank you. _As though she never expected those words fall from the lips of the miko. Very strange, and very curious. Why would a small display of kindness surprise her so?

"Kagome, it is late, and Kaede and I were about to return home. Since you are also a miko, it would be most fitting for you to stay with us." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You are a miko, are you not?"

Kagome fidgeted for a moment, reluctance warring with the desire to get away from the encampment of the wounded, get away from the groaning and the muttering and the dirt. Away from the fire stench and the smoke. To sleep on a futon, a clean futon, with a blanket, and curl up and try to forget when she was and to feel a little safe. Safe, though was what she worried about, looking at the face of the woman inviting her to share a roof for the night. If this was her time, if this was her past, the idea would be out of the question. But this was not her time, and this was not the Kikyou who was her enemy and rival. What to say? How much truth to tell? Accept the offer or decline? Try to run home? If she did, then would Kikyou discover the secret of the well, and if so...if so, what then? Perhaps it would be best, to rise early in the morning, and slip away with the dawn.

"I...I'm in training," Kagome managed after a moment, feeling a bit better to state that fact. And it was true, perhaps not officially, but she was training, with Kaede, and on the trail. "I'm still learning, so sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing. But I am learning."

Kikyou nodded, sensing the truth in the statement, and turning slightly to leave. "Kaede's probably waiting at the edge of town. We don't have much to offer by way of food, but you're welcome to share before sleep." Kagome again hesitated, looking torn between moving forward and bolting, and Kikyou found herself frowning again, not understanding why the girl was so reluctant around her, especially if she was also a miko. Reputation again, she supposed, and wondered if the girl knew who she was in that manner. Still, Kagome seemed like she was from very far away. Pieces of a puzzle that did not fit. "It's this way," she added, her voice snapping Kagome from her indecision and moving her forward, snatching up her yellow sack and clinging to it, pressing it close to her and wrapping her arms around it as though seeking comfort.

* * *

Welcome, everyone, to my new fic, _Kagome Torture_. ::cough:: Whoops, did I say that out loud? Eh heh...I mean, _Through A Mirror Darkly_.

Though this really is a Kagome fic. Not precisely an _Inuyasha and Kagome_ fic, but a Kagome fic, nonetheless. Very unfortunately, characters who were not alive in Kikyou's sengoku jidai will not be in here...alas, no Sango, Miroku and Shippou. Shippou is safely here with me in the PG zone...sooo...::sends Sango and Miroku off to hug somewhere else::  
Miroku: hug  
Sango: blush  
Miroku: rub rub  
Sango: smack

Don't worry, I'm working on a fic with lots of these two even as this gets posted. ^.~  
Miroku: grins  
Sango: "..."

Still, there are quite a few gaps in the information given with the past. Mostly details that made this fic tricky to write. I hope I've been able to bridge them, and to make everything fit together. If you see anything glaringly wrong, please do let me know, either by email or by review.  
This chapter's music- _Only When I Lose Myself,_ by Depeche Mode, and the _Inuyasha_ OST 1.

As is true for all chapters of this fic...Inuyasha does not belong to me. He belongs to Kagome. And Rumiko Takahashi-sensei, of course, since she created them in the first place. Please do not sue me, I'm just another poor otaku. ^.~

_Riddle of the Day: If you were Kagome, stuck 50 years too early and couldn't go home, would you stay with Kikyou?_  
Til chapter 2,_ 'The Looking Glass'_  
~Queen


	3. The looking glasS

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_And you will weep_  
_When you face the end alone_  
_You are lost!_  
_You can never go home..._

_-Gollum's Song, LotR, The Two Towers_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 2- The looking glasS

The wooden floor was hard, and despite a small, firm pillow under her head, Kagome felt stiffness that settled in the muscles of her neck, growing more painful as she began to wind her way up out of dreamy sleep. Clutching a fold of her thin blanket in hand felt comforting, a familiar, sleepy gesture that couldn't quite chase away the sharpening feeling of wrongness in her body. Sore, her eyes opened to slits, and she winced as rolling onto her side forced her muscles to protest at the movement. Her hand gripped the edge of blanket harder as she blinked away any grit in her eyes, hoping the stiffness would not settle into headache.

For a moment, a small, short moment, before her eyes had accustomed to the soft yellow-grey light filtering through the screened door, she had believed she was again in her own time. Not her own future, but her own past. Hard floor, rough blanket, wooden beams overhead, and the faint smell of Kaede-baachan's brazier, producing some breakfast and charred wood smells. But no, this home was somewhat larger, and she should have had her sleeping bag. No partitions sectioned off a little space for her in Kaede's hut, a bit of privacy for sleep, not like they did here.

Had she been at home, or at least in her own past, Kagome may have lay down for another moment, wishing herself a rare, peaceful day, and giving herself just one...or maybe two or three...more minutes with her eyes blissfully closed, skirting the edges of a dreamworld. The thought of returning to her last night's dream, instead, stirred her further, and she sat up, rubbing her eyes and peeling strands of sleep mussed hair from her cheek.

There was no terror in her dreams, nothing to leave her with the after effect of a rapid pulse or a sweaty brow. Instead, she felt slightly cold, as though someone had run a frosted finger down her spine when she was not looking. The dream felt longer than she could remember, mind locking onto the final fragments, when she sat in a dark room and pulled a mask off her face. Turning it over, instead of an image, she found she was holding a mirror with two black holes for eyes, then melting away and flowing through her fingers like water.

Then came the dawn that was brightening the room, and the habit of waking early to grumbled complaints that they were going too slow. This morning, though, dawned silently, though Kagome could faintly hear the sound of shallow breathing across the room. Peering around the screen set up beside her, she saw another futon laid out, the bottom slightly rumpled, rising to a lump of a person whose face she could not see. A second futon had been rolled neatly and placed beside the sleeper, further evidence someone was already up, besides the slightly salty scent of miso soup steaming over the dull fire.

It was Kikyou who had risen, Kagome was sure. The person laying down was too small to be the miko, and being up with the dawn seemed like a trait Kikyou would have, though it was still only a few minutes after. Kagome looked again at the futons on the other side of the room, and hurriedly began to fold hers, stacking it against the partition and rummaging in her bookbag for a brush. Quickly untangling her hair, Kagome stuffed her bare feet into her shoes, shoving her muddied socks further into her bag. They'd need to be bleached to get some of the newly ground in stains out. Static began to build in her hair as she finished combing it, quickly running her hands through her unruly locks to smooth them down.

It was all she needed. Though Kikyou and Kaede had provided some sweet buns and vegetables last night, she was still slightly hungry, wanting the food that had obviously been left out for her and the strangely familiar little girl. Two bowls, enough soup, some rice set to the side with chopsticks beside the brazier. No, she'd pass...a few minutes, she'd be down the well, home, and she could raid the refrigerator. Then she could laugh nervously and feel silly for worrying. After all, her fitful dream didn't come because she was worried that there was something wrong with the well. It was a fluke, a solitary fluke. She'd go through, get some breakfast, start from scratch. Inuyasha would yell at her for being so late, Miroku-sama would roll his eyes at Inuyasha, Sango-chan would shake her head and say hello, Shippou-chan would run over and give her a hug, and the strange nightmare would pass.

She felt sorry that she would be rude enough to disappear, but it was for the best. Just vanish with the dawn, maybe leave them wondering if she was a ghost and not a foreign girl, traveling. Kagome hefted her backpack onto her shoulders, and crept quickly towards the door, poking her head out from the curtain and looking to see if the coast was clear.

Buildings led down the stone cobbles, the house of the two miko sisters set towards the back of the jinja. One building, despite her wish to simply run, caused her to pause as she began to speed down the length of the shrine. A warm, glowing pulse of power, blazing out from the inside of another building. Impulsively, Kagome closed her eyes and reached for the bottle around her neck, home of the few shards she possessed, glad they were quiet, so close to the vicinity of the Shikon no Tama of Kikyou's past. Whole and powerful, still corrupt. Kagome could feel it. The power blossoming outward was warm, but as she stood silently, opening her eyes again and letting them fix on the simple structure, the warmth slowly became stagnant, stifling, though still entrancing.

A bird's trilling call interrupted her thoughts, pulling her away from the thought of looking at the corrupt, whole tama. She was still Kagome, after all. So easy it would be to just walk in there, touch it, and presumably purify it. Was it just habit making her want to do as she always did? Find the shards and purify them? She shook her head, turning away and breaking into a run, heading towards the steps that would carry her past the unscarred Goshinboku tree, into the forest that was not yet Inuyasha's, and to a battered old well that was still ate the bones of the youkai fed to it.

The forest was still lush and green, the difference of fifty years having made changes only in the size of the trees and the locations of the bushes and flowers that proliferated. Wide leaves filtered in sunlight that Kagome paid little attention to, forming shadowy patterns on the ground. This day dawned brighter than the last, though her focus remained on finding the well. Batting aside leafy bracken, she broke though the last of the forest, entering the clearing where the well lay, visible among the height of the growing grasses.

No time to hesitate. She increased her pace, stopping only to look down the well. Vines still hung in place. The darkness of the bottom was barely visible. Everything looked the same. There was no reason the other side would be stopped up. Mama, Jii-chan and Souta were rather unlikely to shove trees down the future side to interfere with her returning.

No reason for it not to work. She tightened her grip on the straps of her bookbag with determination. No reason for it not to work. None.

Home.

Home.

She was going _home_.

Vaulting over the side of the well, she dropped downward, feeling her hair lift up from her neck as she descended, waiting, falling...

Hitting the packed dirt hard, and feeling the impact through her feet and ankles, hard enough for her to stumble a step forward, catching herself on the stone wall of the well. Moss grew there, and her fingers tangled in ropy, leaf covered vines. She dug her nails into them for a moment, then stepped back, looking up into the patch of cloudless sky above.

"The well can't stop working..." the words fell softly from her lips, and she clutched the bottle with her precious few shikon shards in her fist. "Let me through..." Kagome dropped to her knees, and began scooping away at the dirt. She remembered clearly, the time Inuyasha pushed her through the well and attempted to seal it off from his side. She'd come down the well in her time, sensing the shards that Shippou had brought, and began to dig...eventually, the portal opened, allowing her passage. If it worked before, shouldn't it work again? No, no one on her side interfering with the well. Nothing to dig for, here. No, no, it had to work. It _had_ to open... "Come on...come on," she chanted, scooping away and shoving the soil to her sides. Frustrated, she dug harder, grimacing, then settling back with lumps of overturned earth around her. "There's no reason for you not to work!" she shouted at the well. "Come on, I even have shards with me! Look!"

Hefting the bottle in front of her, she let the glass dangle between her fingers, swinging idly.

In the dimness, nothing glowed back at her.

She'd been carrying an empty bottle.

Slowly, it's swinging stopped, and it remained still in her hands, the chain woven around her wrist.

With infinite care, she unwound the chain, and pulled out the stopper, shaking the bottle into her palm and awaiting for the pieces to fall out. It was dim...she could just be missing them. Sure they glowed, but there weren't any youkai in the area, and there really nothing that said they _had_ to glow _all _the time. Maybe she just wasn't seeing them in the dark. Still, nothing fell into her hand.

She closed it, setting aside the bottle for a moment and closing her eyes.

She was approximately sometime fifty years further into the past than she should be.

Kikyou was alive.

Kaede was a child.

Inuyasha, presumably, was still somewhere around, though...she bit her lip, shaking her head. He wouldn't know her, if this was fifty years earlier than it should be. No one knew who she was. Who else could possibly be alive here? Kouga? And who knew where, and how far? Again, any allies or friends wouldn't know her, or weren't even born. Miroku-sama and Sango-chan weren't going to be born for decades. Shippou or his family...who knew?

Thus far, Kikyou and Kaede had treated her nicely. Of course they would- she told them she was a miko in training, a traveler. No reason she couldn't stick to that story. Kaede-baachan hadn't known where Tokyo was, and assumed it was her land, without much fuss. Kikyou may be harder, but still, it was unlikely anyone would guess she was from the future. That was the stuff of fantasy and science fiction, impossible, inconceivable in reality.

So, then.

She was alone, though had a decent cover story. She had moderate abilities to survive. The shards she had were gone, possibly due to whatever caused the temporal mishap in the first place. Kagome tried not to laugh and failed, the sound half choked while she fought back tears. 'Mishap' didn't even begin to describe the situation.

Taking a deep breath, she balled her fists up tightly and tried to control herself. This couldn't be permanent. There was no way she would be trapped here forever...if nothing else, she and Kikyou were supposed to share a soul. If Kikyou was alive, then how could their complete soul be in two different bodies in the same era? Maybe that was overly simplistic, but she couldn't be stuck here. There had to be a way home. Click her heels three times, wish hard enough, and before she knew it, she'd be waking up from a nightmare.

If she was going to get home, then she couldn't do it sitting in a well, that was certain. Climb back up. Go where? Back to the shrine...back when it was still lived in, and when it housed the Shikon no Tama. The tama was always at the root of things. That was where she should start, though she shuddered to think of staying there. Staying there...the home of Kikyou and Kaede.

What to tell them?

"Mou, onee-sama, it was rude of her to just leave without saying goodbye or anything," Kaede complained, quickly tying her hair back into a rude knot at the nape of her neck. Kikyou was holding aside the curtain of their doorway, letting the full morning light pour into the room, illuminating the polished floor and making it shine. A pliable leather bag was strapped over Kikyou's shoulder, bulging at some places where the contents protruded, and her quiver of arrows was slung over her back, bow in hand.

Kaede rushed out of the house, and Kikyou released the curtain behind her as they began their walk back to the village. "I imagine she had reasons to leave at dawn. We have no time to worry about it if she's gone. There's work to be done."

"I'm surprised you didn't see her. You were checking on it again this morning, weren't you?" Kaede asked, eyeing her older sister. "I don't like that thing, it's creepy."

"It's far more than creepy," Kikyou grinned faintly, looking down at the girl, whose arms were so stoutly folded. The small smile faded from her lips quickly. It was strange, so many youkai coming together at once, attacking a village. Her village she could understand, and safely protect. But one a few leagues away? It made little sense, and was a puzzle that would have to be sorted out as the day passed, and those who were injured and less afraid began to speak in more coherent terms. She disliked leaving the village in such a state; but it was possible that it was distraction or a roundabout route to get to her precious 'keepsake' in the jinja. If that were not protected, then this attack would seem as nothing. Leave them then, or chance extreme consequences later. From the understanding she gained from yesterday, there had been many lower youkai, acting in unison. Rare, that.

Kaede's voice startled her out of her thoughts, and she followed her sister's astonished gaze. "O...onee-sama!"

Their houseguest from the previous night had returned, and was slowly cresting the steps of the shrine, appearing in the shallow shadow of the torii. The day before she looked distressed, constantly worried, though that was understandable. Today there was a difference, a resolution in her way of walking, as though someone had draped a cloak of lead over her shoulders, and she was determined to carry it, despite its weight. Brows drawn down, lips thin, fists tightly clenching the straps of her bag. Loose dirt was covering her blouse and skirt, as well has clinging to her knees, as though she had tripped and taken a bad spill; but there was no blood as if she had scraped herself. The hypnotic sound of water flowing captured her attention for a moment, cycling through its basin at the entryway to the shrine, flowing softly.

After a moment, she seemed to realize that she'd been spotted, and lifted her head, a weak, uneven smile trying to form. "Ah, ohayo..."

"Ohayo," Kikyou greeted, and tapped Kaede on the shoulder, to keep her from pointing. "Are you all right?"

"I...ah, yes..." the determined look renewed itself, and she looked up, facing the miko and steeling herself. "I was thinking, that at least I would ask. Did you need more help, with your village? There were many injured, and from what I heard from the people, it sounded like there were a lot of lower level youkai fighting when they got there." Kagome took a breath and took up her gamble. "With whatever it is you have in your jinja, with so many youkai around, I thought I'd offer to help."

Kikyou's face remained impassive, though standing next to her Kaede began to shift nervously, wondering what to do. She could feel the air around her begin to tense, like a bowstring carefully being pulled taut, in case of danger. "You sense its presence?"

A slow nod from the stranger. "The tama is corrupt. It will be attracting attention, and with whatever battle happened, it will keep your attention divided until everything settles down."

The tension around Kikyou broke, and Kaede found herself relaxing slightly. Kikyou's next words didn't surprise her greatly. "Very well. Help would be appreciated." Kagome's face visibly showed relief, though there was still a certain wariness about her. "Kaede says you missed breakfast...go eat, quickly." She tilted her head thoughtfully to one side, considering something for a moment. A slightly wan smile drifted across her face for an instant. "The clothing you're wearing needs a good washing. We look about the same height, and if you are also a miko, I see little reason why not to lend you something for a day or two."

Kagome blanched, and waved her hands nervously, shaking her head. "Eh, ah, no, really that's all right, I brought a spare outfit...I always do. I don't need anything, really."

Kikyou's eyebrows lifted, and she shrugged. "If you wish. Kaede, I'll be in the village until you arrive. Stay with her, make sure she..."

"Kagome." Kagome interjected, earning a quick look from the sisters.

Continuing, Kikyou repeated: "Make sure _Kagome_ has what she needs."

"All right..." Kaede agreed, cutting her eyes at Kagome and trying to figure out what it was that suddenly let her onee-sama decide to trust her. She trusted her sister's judgment, but sometimes she could be more cryptic than the girl liked, leaving her to figure things out for herself. It didn't matter. Kikyou was already moving towards the steps, silently passing by their visitor and heading away towards the village. "Ne, Kagome-sama, come on, we don't have a lot of time." Kaede lifted her head up importantly as she turned to head back into the house. "There's work to be done."

Kagome-_sama_? That, coming from Kaede, was a bit disconcerting, even if it was her as a child. She jogged a couple steps to catch up to the younger girl, hoping that she was doing the right thing. There didn't seem to be any options otherwise. No one alive, or at least, no one who knew her. Or would know her. Or trust her. There were no good choices, but at least here, she was close to the Shikon no Tama, and everything happened because of that dangerous little object. This place would be the epicenter of everything else. Stay close, and something would have to turn up.

Back inside the house, Kaede was starting up the brazier again to reheat breakfast, glancing up as Kagome set down her rucksack and began to rummage, pulling out odds and ends. Books became a pile to one side of her, along with spare batteries, a lantern style flashlight, two boxes of instant ramen, a couple sandwiches and some candy. A frustrated growl brought Kaede's attention away from the warming coals, and she saw Kagome half buried in her bag, shifting around as she shoved things aside.

"Something wrong, Kagome-sama?"

A halfhearted mumble answered her. "I packed it. I'm sure I did. I always do. Why wouldn't I pack a spare?"

"Spare what?"

Resurfacing, Kagome shoved the bag back in disgust. "School uniform. Mou...I always pack a second because this," she gestured to herself, and the stains now running rampant across the cloth, "always seems to happen! I put it on the bottom because it's soft, and won't break like the flashlight or get smashed like the food. I don't get it...I know I packed it!" She dove back into the bag, checking the zipper compartments on happenstance that she'd tucked it somewhere strange.

Kaede, though, was trying to size up the other girl again. Nervous before, sad, weary looking, she now seemed to be fine, rooting through her things the same way Kaede herself would when she was missing something. Though she couldn't recognize half the items the stranger had produced, the actions were the same. Odd.

Cautiously, she set the soup back on the brazier, wondering why. "I'll get you some of onee-sama's clothes then."

Kagome's head snapped up, and the panicked expression suddenly returned, quickly replaced by nervousness. "Ah, no, that's okay, I..." she picked at the fabric of her sleeve, then began to look at her hands. "I..."

"We can wash yours," Kaede assured her, though wasn't sure how sensible the short skirt was anyway. The shoes looked sturdy, but the rest of the outfit looked like weird underwear or something. "But it'll take a few hours for them to dry. If you're going to help, then you can't go around naked."

Lips drawing thin, Kagome looked away. This all felt ridiculous, in a strangely serious way. Choices...no choices...

"Here."

Red and white cloth flopped into her lap, neatly folded and soft. Kaede was standing with childlike imperiousness above her, hands on her hips. "It's better to wear than that thing you're wearing now, anyway. What if there's some eechi in with all the injured people?" Kaede made a face, sticking out her tongue in distaste. "Yuck."

To her surprise, Kagome laughed lightly for a moment, then looked like she was about to say something, before biting it back, and a certain lonely look appeared in her eyes. Quietly, she looked at the folded clothing in her hands, and smoothed it out slightly as she stood. "Then, I guess I just have to follow orders, ne?"

Kaede found herself smiling at the older girl as she slipped back behind the partition she had slept behind. The rustling of clothes began to sound as the younger of the two checked on the reheating soup. Such a peculiar girl. Strange clothes, strange personality. Why switch attitudes so often? Relaxed, then tense? What was the difference? Onee-sama could be somewhat disconcerting, she supposed, being a powerful miko, but still...Kagome's knowing about the Shikon no Tama wasn't completely expected. Not that the existence of the thing was a big secret, but it wasn't exactly proclaimed anywhere.

The soup was beginning to steam, and she poured it into a wooden bowl, bits of tofu floating to the top and bobbing up and down. "It's ready for you, Kagome-sama," Kaede informed as Kagome reluctantly emerged from where she was hidden. Her face was drawn again, downcast, as though expecting some kind of verbal blow, her hands folded inside the bundle of her school uniform. A moment later, the awaited blow struck.

"Kagome-sama, you look like onee-sama!"

A slight wince, which formed into a nervous smile, eyes still turned aside. "Do I?"

Kaede's eyes were round as she held out the bowl of steaming soup. "Yes. Everyone's going to think you're a relative visiting us or something...that's amazing..." she trailed as Kagome set traded her uniform for the bowl, sipping it uneasily. Kaede was still staring, though she was now fumbling with the clothes. "I'll go scrub these out real quick while you eat."

"Ah, thank you," Kagome replied distractedly, watching the bits of tofu float around in the soybean soup before tentatively sipping it. It was warm and rich, and she found suddenly that she was hungry. The bowl was drained all too quickly, and she sighed as she set it down, closing her eyes as she tried to clear her mind. Focus on the task at hand. Concentrate, right? Stick to the plan. Work hard. You're from the sengoku jidai, now, Kagome. Tokyo's a mysterious city far away. No time travel. No other worlds. Work as a miko, figure things out, get home. See the others again, see Inuyasha again, and let it pass like a dream. Just a dream.

"Kagome-sama?"

Her eyes flicked open, and she smiled. "Are we ready then?"

"Guess so." Came the enthusiastic reply, and a few moments later, they were walking in the bright sunlight, out along the paths and down the many steps, Kagome's eyes full of wonder as she absorbed the full quality of the well kept courtyards of the jinja. In her sengoku jidai, the area was rarely used, the former home of Kikyou's bones, where Urasue snatched them to work her dark magics.

After a moment, the Goshinboku fell into Kagome's vision, and her eyes locked on it, steadily approaching it as she ran a hand across the railing of the walkway above. In the light, she could see it was somewhat thinner than she was accustomed to; it had weathered fifty less years. The branches were just slightly more weblike, not reaching their leafy fingers quite as high. The sound of water falling grew muted as the two of them walked, replaced by the rustling of the trees in the wind, murmuring to each other quietly like kami hiding and whispering divine secrets.

At the base of the steps, Kagome paused, looking over her shoulder and facing the tree, judging the distance between her feet and the first swellings of roots under the earth. No notch yet marked the point of Kikyou's arrow, where Inuyasha would sleep for so long. Involuntarily, she found herself lifting a finger to point at the spot, tracing the trajectory of an arrow that was not in her hands.

"Kagome-sama?" Kaede was a few steps ahead of her, a brow lifted at Kagome's uplifted hand, now slowly falling back to her side. "It's one of the oldest trees around the shrine. It greets the visitors."

"It reminds me...of a tree where I'm from. It's a bit older, though. We keep shimenawa around it, because it's the oldest tree in the shrine. Touching it is like touching another time..." For a moment, while she spoke her words, a fey mood took her, and she looked thin and pale, as images played before her eyes, of a white haired boy running quickly, vaulting off the red torii and down, running, running, leaping, a flashing jewel in his hand. As the spectral sight reached the sacred tree, it faded away, though a faint ringing sound could be heard, as though something made of glass clattered onto hard ground.

Kaede shivered, wondering where a small cool wind had stirred from, a slight anxiety growing at the chill. She chattered to break her nervousness. "You have a tree like this at your shrine? What's yours like?" she asked as she turned away, leaping down to the next step, hoping Kagome would follow. Gladly, after a moment, the ethereal aspect left her, and footsteps followed on the stone steps.

"It's shaped a bit differently...our tree is on the main level, roped off. My house is in a different spot, too."

"I've never been anywhere else, other than ours, though I heard there's a big shrine where some miko train not too far from here. I've seen one of them walking around, when I was with Kikyou-oneesama. She's been training me."

Kaede's chatter was refreshing, something distracting. "So you want to be a miko then?"

"Of course," Kaede responded, grinning over her shoulder and sighing happily. "I like living here. I'm not too good with some things, like onee-sama is, but I like learning about the herbs and things. I'm going to learn as much as I can about that, so I can make up for not having as strong powers. Do you have something you're good at?"

Kagome faltered for a moment. Saying she was good at finding shikon shards was not exactly an option. This wasn't something she wanted to talk about too much. "I'm...trying to control some of my spiritual powers." An idea formed in her mind, a distraction and something for their conversation. "My arrows can get a little off sometimes, but Kaede-baachan says I'm improving."

As hoped, the younger girl stopped, mouth open and eyes wide with delight. "Kaede? The miko training you is named Kaede too?"

The enthusiasm was too much. Kagome grinned, nodding. "Yes. So you'll have to forgive me if I accidentally call you 'baa-chan sometimes, ne?"

She laughed and shrugged, turning around, then suddenly pausing and listening to the silence. They'd passed the bottom of the steps, and were into the forest, just ready to descend to the rice paddies. Leaves still rustled against each other quietly, but the white noise of birds had grown to a stillness. Then, quickly, Kaede stooped, picked up three stones in her hand, and began hurling them into the trees, grabbing another handful when her first round vanished into the foliage.

"Get lost!" she shouted, slinging another stone into the trees. "Do you want onee-sama to get her arrows again? Get out of here!"

It only took a moment for Kagome to get a queasy feeling in her stomach, a sense of wrongness developing about the scene now unfolding. Kikyou killed the youkai that came around the shrine, seeking the Shikon no Tama.

All youkai except one.

"Kaede! What are you doing? Stop it!" She ran forward, grabbing at the girl's wrist. Thin, it slipped through her clasping fingers, and a final stone shot forward into the taller trees. Instead of the cracking of branches as before, there was a thudding noise, a yelp, and then the birches began to shake, moving away and deeper into the forest.

Kagome finally got a grip on the squirming girl. "Kaede, stop it! What are you doing?"

"Ha! Got him, finally! That stupid youkai's been hanging around the shrine for weeks." She looked annoyed, then satisfied, finally stopping her moving. After a moment, Kagome released her, listening and hearing her feeling proven correct. "I don't know why onee-sama doesn't just finish him off. He's just after the tama, like every other one, hanging around here and looking for a chance to kill us." A sour look crossed her features. "Someday I'm going to figure out how to subdue pests like that."

Kagome felt too small to take amusement from the younger Kaede's comment. Instead, it seemed to sting, reminding her of who the 'stupid youkai' Kaede's cursing was directed to was. Inuyasha was there. Right there. Watching, up in the concealing trees. Did he recognize her? Or to his eyes, was she Kikyou, this Inuyasha of the past? Surely the latter...she tried to crush the swelling of emotion that rose in her chest, finding it difficult.

"Kagome-sama?"

Faltering, Kagome struggled to turn her expression into a grimace instead of one of longing. A deep frown settled onto her features, and she tightened a fist, pressing her tension into her fingers, creating little crescents on her palm. "You do that, Kaede...-chan. That's...terrible that a youkai hangs around here, just trying to get to your Shikon no Tama. But I'm sure your sister has reasons for not killing him." The features on her face softened a bit as she stood up, hoping that would cue Kaede into continuing on their way. It did. To stay in step with the older girl, Kaede began to hurry alongside Kagome's longer strides. "I'm sure Kikyou would kill him if he really was dangerous, don't you think?"

"I guess so." She cast an uneasy glance behind her. "He won't get to it anyway, not with onee-sama's shield around it, but still, I don't think he's all that harmless..."

"Don't worry about him," Kagome said curtly. "He won't take the Shikon no Tama today, at least. Besides, you said it yourself," she continued, moving briskly down the last set of steps, "we've got work to do."

Behind them, a strangely suspicious pair of golden eyes watched them from the forest.

* * *

_shimenawa_- sacred rope. A cord/rope made out of rice straw and hung around something to mark it as sacred.  
_torii-_ the archway leading into a shrine, usually colored red

There are some spots that are ambiguous as to location. I wasn't sure where Kikyou and Kaede would be living, with the jinja of the 50 years ago operational. It's my understanding that miko usually lived in their shrines, though in the current (Kagome's) sengoku jidai, it seems to be in disrepair, and Kaede obviously has her hut just outside the village. I asked around a bit too, and the votes were split there as well. Since it could go either way, I opted to keep them in the shrine. It worked better for the fic, in the end.

Til next chapter, '_On the Edge of Forever_'  
~Queen

This chapter's music:  
_Everything is Wrong_- Moby  
_Inuyasha _OST 1


	4. On the edge of foreveR

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_and out came the sun and dried up all the rain_  
_and the itsy bitsy spider_  
_climbed up the spout again_  
_-The Itsy Bitsy Spider_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 3- On the edge of foreveR

The village had brightened along with the day; sunlight had splashed its way long the paths between the houses, illuminating more clearly those who had been tended to the long day before. Fires lit from last night were out or smoking remains, lending a slight bit of haze to the sight growing in Kagome and Kaede's vision. Some of the injured men and women were moving, the more mobile of them now sitting up and huddling, either warily looking out at the locals, or murmuring amongst themselves. Some had bowls of food, and a couple of elderly women were doling out rice from one of the houses, scuttling in and out the door like beetles.

A portly woman with a shock of grey hair over each ear was barking commands at two of the men waiting in the bedraggled food line while wielding a large spoon, clearly in charge of the food distribution. At her vehement motions, they grumpily left with the cooked rice they had, an attempt to get more failing. Raising a hand, Kaede waved to her, calling out, "Ohayo, Chikara-obaasan! Have you seen Kikyou-oneesama?"

At her name, Chikara turned from her business with the men, a smile forming on her face at the cheerful greeting. "No, Kaede-chan, I..." her voice trailed for a moment, and a confused look settled on her features, deepening the lines around her mouth. She had seen the miko that morning, indeed, and was about to direct Kaede to the last way she had seen her walking. Though now her dark eyes had settled on Kagome, walking a half step behind, and was wondering why the girl would be asking for her sister when she was clearly standing no more than an armslength behind her. It made the older woman suspicious, and she evaluated the newcomer again. 'Kikyou' had her hair down, hanging loosely instead of being pulled back as usual. Children grew up too fast to her eyes. A year or so seemed to have dropped away along with some worry, revealing a younger face, and she did not carry the weight of a bow and quiver, along with a satchel of herbs. Shrewdly, Chikara looked the girl up and down one more time. They had to be related, the resemblance was astounding. A cousin? There were no more sisters in the family. When had she arrived? Who was new? Many came into the village yesterday, but none completely unharmed and dressed as miko...

Her face relaxed slightly as she set her spoon down onto the workbench, now serving as a table, wiping her hands off on her apron. The strangely dressed one, who seemed so ill at ease in the few moments she had spared to eat the evening before. Now in the long red and white robes of a miko, ah, now that made some sense, though odd. Pity what is not noticed when death and blood are rising around you.

She folded her hands together and bowed politely to Kagome, though addressed Kaede, since it was the younger who had asked her. "I saw the miko-sama head towards Keganin's house. His brother and his family were brought in last night, and he's helping them." Her eyes flicked to Kagome, and inclined her head politely. "Ohayo, miko-sama."

Kagome managed a smile. She was going to have to get used to being called 'miko-sama' by these people if she wanted to pass among them. "Ohayo. I'm Kagome...it's nice to meet you."

"Kagome-sama is going to stay with us for awhile," Kaede interjected helpfully, though now that she had the information she needed, was edging forward to be on her way to find her sister. "This is Chikara-obaasan."

"Mostly in charge of this rabble," the woman added, hefting her spoon again as an argument began to break out behind her, voices rising in pitch. "At least when Kikyou-sama is not here. It was very nice meeting you, Kagome-sama, but I have to..." a clatter and a sharp cry from one of the other serving women distracted her, turning around and wielding her spoon like a baton. "Oy! There's enough for everyone, stop being so greedy!" The wooden spoon cracked down on a hand, starting someone to hopelessly arguing with her.

"Come on. Looks like Chikara-obaasan is busy enough. I know where she means, follow me." Kaede tugged at Kagome's long sleeve, and led her further into the village's interior. Observing carefully now, she noted that there were changes to the layout of the place. Small, but noticeable. A few houses were in different order; there was a spot where a garden was laid out instead of another house. Some were newer, others older, having been torn down and replaced over the next fifty years. Rebuilding kept the place fresh, the homes sturdy, something needed for the troublesome times. Kaede was leading her quickly to one of the older homes, distinctive due to the bits of wildgrass creeping up the sides of the house, and slightly streaked downward from rainwater.

Kikyou was kneeling down at the doorway, two men before her, one kneeling, propping the other up, since his leg was in a long splint, bound together with bright strips of cloth. The injured one was the younger, fewer cares having creased his brow, though the two men were clearly siblings, with the same broad faces and shoulders, their hair slicked back into top knots. The younger was talking, fumbling for words and shaking his head as he spoke, lingering fear still tingeing his voice as they approached. "...came from. There were dozens, at least...more than I could count, flying around and bashing each other. A few of us..." he broke off as the two newcomers appeared over Kikyou's shoulder, and he licked his lips, eyes flitting from one miko to the other. The halt in conversation lifted the head of the older brother, and turned Kikyou around to see their arrival.

She could not help but lift her eyebrows at the sight of Kagome, standing still behind Kaede with her hands clasped, looking for all the world like she wanted to hide in the ground she was staring at. She knew, then, of the similarity in appearance, and Kikyou wondered at that, assimilating it into the store of information and guesses she was accumulating about the stranger. Perhaps that was why she looked so stricken at the thought of wearing Kikyou's own clothing; the resemblance would be more pronounced. Now, though, was not the time for such things. With an acknowledging nod, she turned back. "Please continue, Kossetsu-san."

Shifting a bit, he returned to his tale. "They...they were all fighting, so a couple of us got our bows out, for hunting. I think somebody had some gardening stuff they were waving around, but it was too crazy to tell. Nothing was much good, everything was going up in fire by then, and people started just running. I blacked out sometime during it. My wife got me on a horse...she found it running around wild, calmed it down somehow." He changed positions again, then tried to run a hand through his hair, smoothing it down again with a nervous gesture. He sighed, eyes darting around. "We headed out to the forest for cover...they were all over the plain. Couldn't go that way. Too many." He shuddered.

"Thank you, Kossetsu-san. Your wife is sleeping inside?"

"Yes..."

"She's resting on my pallet," Keganin added, gesturing towards the inside of the hut. "She was fixed up yesterday, just some minor burns. She was up late with Kossetsu."

"You're very fortunate," Kikyou told the wounded man, reaching out and lightly touching his cheek. At the contact, he took a deep breath, and his eyes sagged, body relaxing into sleep. She turned her attention to the elder brother again. "When she awakens, I may need to speak to her. I'd like a better description of the battle itself."

"I'll let you know, miko-sama," Keganin agreed, trying to bow and hold up his younger brother at the same time without dropping him.

"Thank you. Take care."

She stood, backing away and drawing Kaede and Kagome away from the two, the elder now lifting the younger to take inside for a rest. Her eyes settled on Kagome, critically trying to surmise why the girl looked so much like her reflection in a pond. There seemed to be no connection; she did not know her before yesterday. They were not family, so far as she knew. A miko, surely, but still, not all miko looked alike. It was curious, and she resolved to learn more.

"Kossetsu's testimony is somewhat muddled," she said at length, readjusting the quiver on her shoulder. "Though it seems there were many youkai in the area. An unusually large number, and there is no reason they would be drawn there."

"Unlike reasons they'd be drawn around here," Kaede snorted, folding her arms and following Kikyou's train of thought. "Why gather around there?"

"That I do not know. Kossetsu and his wife came in early this morning, after hiding in the wood. There may be more stragglers, or youkai attempting to hunt them down, those caught up in the flight." Her eyes met with Kagome's. "Would you accompany me around the outside of town to search?"

Kagome tried to remind herself that she had to act naturally, as though she did not know these people. There was no logical reason for her to refuse the request. Besides, it would have to happen sooner or later. Just hanging around Kaede wasn't going to stop an interrogation, however subtle. Still, she automatically found herself saying, "Shouldn't someone stay here? A miko? For the village?"

"I'm staying," Kaede told her, as though this were obvious. "Besides, Chikara-obaasan will be bossing everyone around, now that the worst is over. If anything bad happens, I know the route," she finished, breezily referring to whatever pathway she knew Kikyou usually walked around the village.

Forcing what she hoped was a friendly smile, Kagome turned to Kikyou. "Then I guess there's no reason to stick around. Sure, I'll come." Then she hesitated, this time with thoughtfulness. "I don't have arrows or anything with me..."

"We'll have to find you some, then," Kikyou agreed. A moment later, Kaede chimed in that she would ask around as she checked out the village's situation today.

It seemed a bit amazing, the way the two of them worked so fluidly together. Kagome had noticed a touch of idol worship towards her sister from the younger girl, though not enough to keep her from being starstruck. When Kikyou had a demand elsewhere, Kaede seemed to try to find a way to fill the lacking, despite her age.

"Thanks," she managed after a moment, and with unspoken farewells, the two elder miko turned and began to walk, Kagome a half step behind Kikyou, not certain as to the 'route' the older girl usually took. Her last glance at the more familiar village was to see Kaede disappearing around a corner, at a full run.

Green grass that covered the expanse of plain brushed against Kagome's thighs, swishing back the loose vermillion hems of her hakama with the help of the wind. Loosely, she trailed her fingertips across the rough wildgrasses, feeling them prickle her skin as she ranged several lengths away from Kikyou, always keeping an eye on the miko and expecting her to speak. They traced a path parallel to the darkened wood, still shadowy despite the brightness of the day. Every so often, Kikyou would pause, as though listening to the unseen wind, her head tilted to the side and her eyes half lidded. Then her direction would change, almost imperceptibly. Kagome found little rhyme or reason to the slight alterations, though they seemed to be tracing a wide arc, bringing them slowly closer to the lake, the place where the river and the irrigated rice paddies emptied, draining away the still water.

So different, so similar. Same lake, same grass, same scent to the air, of water and wind and clarity just smudged with woodsmoke. Walking, searching, looking to help, but with someone so starkly different than her usual companions. Like, unlike.

It took Kagome a moment, so accustomed to the silence she had become, to realize Kikyou had finally spoken, asking a question. "You decided to dress as a miko instead of your foreign clothes?"

"Ah, yes," Kagome admitted sheepishly, allowing a bit of puzzlement to creep into her tone. "I couldn't seem to find my spare outfit. I'm sure I packed it though."

How long had she been on the trail? Many days would have revealed such a lacking to her already, and yet she seemed to just discover it. Why? "That's too bad. Did you leave it at a previous place you stayed?"

Hearing the query in her voice, Kagome realized she nearly made a mistake, and tried to salvage her previous words, remembering not to stumble in her speech. This was no polite conversation she was having, after all. "That's possible. It was a long trip." It was a very long trip...five hundred years. Or a few meters, depending on how you wanted to measure the transfer.

"I haven't traveled far beyond the borders of this domain," Kikyou told her, eyes scanning the sweeping grasses, shivering in the warm wind. "The village is my home. You must miss yours."

"Yes," she agreed, then slowly tested the information, "Tokyo is long trip from here. I wish I could see my little brother again, and my mother and grandfather." If information was what Kikyou was seeking, then she would give what was enough to keep her satisfied. A nice, normal life with her family in a 'village' Kikyou would never have heard of. Or, at least, _this_ Kikyou.

The elder miko's head turned slowly, contemplatively. "You have a younger brother?"

"Yes." Kagome's smile spread genuinely, thinking of him. "Souta. He's a bit younger than Kaede. He's a bit more quiet than she is though."

"Is he also to be a priest?"

"Well...I'm not sure. Jii-chan would probably love it, if he ever expresses an interest beyond watching him."

Kagome wished she knew what was going on behind the light blue eyes that were regarding her so carefully. Though, she thought, they had softened somewhat with the talk of her family. Her face was still serene, motionless amid the breezy grasses. Then, along with her eyes, her expression softened as well, and Kagome began to realize she had passed whatever test this was. Kikyou believed her words. She was safe, and she tried not to abruptly expel a breath she had been holding. Instead, it became a gasp. "There!"

Even as the word flew from her lips, Kikyou was whirling, an arrow sliding from its quiver, the white fletched bolt slicing through the air with a faint whistle. It sparked at the tip, resplendent orchid light blossoming from the point as it collided with the thickly furred body of an overgrown weasel. Its body hitched, convulsing backward and crashing to the ground with a loud thunk, thrashing once, twice, then lying still.

Kagome's heart was pounding. Her attention wrapped around the conversation with Kikyou, she had nearly not felt its stealthy coming, taking advantage of the high grasses and weaving among them. A moment of inattention. One moment, and under attack.

Kikyou grabbed the shaft of her arrow, yanking it out of the youkai's heart as it seemed to sigh, body turning to ashes and blowing away on the faint wind. "When we return, we'll need to get some of the men to come and cart the bones to the well," she said, wiping the bile off of her arrow on the ground, then sliding it back into her quiver, wasting nothing. Noticing Kagome's pale face, she lifted an eyebrow. "Are you well?"

Shaking herself, Kagome nodded, a hand automatically stealing to her throat, to clutch at the little bottle on its chain. The empty little bottle on its chain. "That...was a good shot."

Kikyou tilted her head to the side, then glanced back at the remains of the youkai, lips drawing to a fine frown as she backed away. "It was well enough. We shouldn't linger here. With this one's death scent on the air, the others will scatter until it is safe to pass this way again. Then the bones will attract them."

The bones were barren, without meat, and Kagome was not sure why they alone would summon other youkai, but she had seen it before. As Kikyou drew away from the creature, she trailed, watching the remains, as though some ghost of it would rise up to strike from behind.

For many more minutes, silence prevailed, interrupted only by the whisper of the wind on the grass. The wide arc they traced around the outer limits of the village land passed from floodplain to rocky soil, hills rising around them gently, covered by weeds, shrubbery and the extended fingers of the forest, reaching to grasp more land. Birches bent in the sky, waving steadily back and forth.

But each step made Kagome more listless. She resisted fretting, and tried to keep her darting eyes searching for signs of youkai instead of seeking out the path back to the Bone Eater's Well. She continued to finger the empty bottle, and a soft rapping noise reaching her ears, from her nail tapping against the glass, an imitation of the usual sounds of shards striking the inside. She knew this land. Though some of the layout of trees had changed, the forest not yet claimed a few more twists and turns of the earth, it grew more and more familiar.

Cresting a low rise, a curve of land became visible, a broad stretch of plain that would bring them back towards the village, should the two miko choose to take it. Before her, a few minutes brisk walk ahead, lay the lake and its river.

To her left lay a cave.

Her hand convulsed around the bottle, and the sudden cease of footsteps alerted Kikyou. Fingers reaching for another arrow, she looked to Kagome, following her wide eyed gaze. She herself sensed no threatening youki in their immediate area, as though it had been drawn away, somewhere else. Her uncertain companion was watching the narrow jaw of a cave with a pale face, unreadable expressions flitting across it rapidly.

Fifty years back. Fifty years. Exactly how close to fifty years? How polluted was the burned out cave of Onigumo? Did it lay empty and peaceful, did it have yet to feel the corrupting presence of Naraku's creation? Or was it foul and black and charred inside? Times...the times, did they match? How closely? When, exactly, was she? Inuyasha hovered around the jinja, Kaede was unscarred, but were they months before Inuyasha was pinned to the Goshinboku? Weeks? Days?

"You're right," Kikyou stated, snapping Kagome back to reality as she began heading quickly towards the cave, her arrow falling back into the rest with a quiet clatter. Frantically, Kagome tried to recall if she had said anything aloud; she was sure she hadn't. Then what was Kikyou commenting on? She scurried after, doggedly stumbling down the pebbly slope, feeling the little stones move into her straw sandals.

Every foot she placed before the other took her a step closer to the cave's mouth, dark and scented with must and earth. It felt like a nightmare, one she could not stop, walking endlessly forward into a darkness at the mouth of hell. When? How far had she slipped in time? Onigumo couldn't be there, that would be...she shuddered, shoving away the dreadful thought. He couldn't be. And if he was? No, he couldn't be. Face to face with your greatest enemy in life, and he lay there, helpless, and not yet an enemy? No, of course not. With what did this time align with? Her sengoku jidai aligned with her world; a day there was a day here.

Kagome's feet ended in the dirt, a broken footpath leading to the cave's maw. Consumed already in the dark, Kikyou's white clothed figure was a grey patch, diminished, then gone. Resting a hand reluctantly on the opening, she placed a foot forward, feeling it slide under the stubbly presence of a burned out torch. Many of the grasses around the cave mouth had been trampled by heavy feet, broken and bent. Iris petals had been strewn under heels.

People had been here within the last couple days, though it seemed they were gone, the footprints a incoherent mess on the dirt path. A shiver ran down Kagome's spine, and she looked into the darkness again, Kikyou's voice echoing eerily from the depths.

"Kagome! Come here, and quickly!"

Run. She wanted to run. Far and fast, flying, running, running away. If she didn't look into the cave, she wouldn't see what she dreaded. It would be put off for just a bit longer; for just a short while longer, there would be no Onigumo in her life. For just a bit longer, there was still no future Naraku, and her hopeful plan to get home would still be simple. The nightmare began to speed up, a hell bent carousel that kept spinning dizzily, refusing to allow her to step off.

She couldn't run away. To where would she run? There was nowhere to go.

Edging forward, she entered the darkness, descending a bit further into the gloom, which suddenly sparked a little golden light, casting away the shadows around the place that Kikyou knelt, hands setting aside a bit of flint.

The light revealed the broken figure of a man, crushed and burned, a charred and tattered tatami mat half wrapped around him. One side had been flung off, evidence of Kikyou's swift inspection to see if he lived. And he did live. In the silence of the cave, a faint rattling noise could be heard, of breath laboriously sucked into and pushed out of injured lungs. Where flesh protruded from the remains of the dingy mat, it was blistered, puckered into red welts striped with purplish black blood streaks. The light of the fire cast the body in a crimson hue, a healthy color that made the man look even more sickly.

The nightmare she feared was a reality, once her sight was filled with the image of the decimated Onigumo. A twist of pity stabbed her, hard. She tried to brush it aside, ignore it. This was Onigumo, this was Naraku. This was Naraku who sought the Shikon no Tama, the Naraku who cursed Miroku-sama, who orchestrated the death of Sango-chan's village, who manipulated Kohaku, who attacked them over and over again.

This was the man that tricked Inuyasha into stealing the Shikon no Tama, and who tricked Kikyou into hating him.

She already feared him. She should hate him. And yet, somehow, in that helpless state, she pitied him. At that moment, if he were conscious, he would know that he would never walk again. Never move again. He was crippled beyond repair, for any era. The scar tissue swarming over him would never completely heal. Caught between sensible hatred and logical pity, she stood at the light's edge, listening to Kikyou murmur steadily as she drew items from her bag, the pungent scent of herbs rising into the putrid stench of piss and burnt meat.

"The swells...lanced...relieve the pressure...willow, here..." she untied one of the cloth bags on a twine and laid the ground grey mass on the ground, quickly reaching for a clay bowl and a nearby rock to grind ingredients. She seemed to realize that Kagome had finally entered, and she looked up at her, pointing to Onigumo. "His burns are severe. I'll need bandages, and water. Here, move that filthy mat off of him."

It felt like ages as she moved forward, slowly reaching out to do as Kikyou bid, pulling the edge of the tatami gently off. Still, several blisters burst at the light motion, and pus began to run from the side, releasing another sour odor to compete with the cleaner scent of herbs. Now pungent, the cut through the stench, though it still left Kagome queasy.

As a new wave of pain cut through him at the ministrations of Kagome and Kikyou, the figure muttered something, little more than a groan uttered through chapped lips.

"You are alive," Kikyou told him, pausing long enough to look down into the man's swollen face. The groan rose again, this time accompanied with a groggy awakening. Lashless eyelids cracked open, eyes rolling for the sound of the quiet voice. The golden light struck his eyes as they finally shifted towards Kikyou, lit by the tiny fire alight just behind her, making her into an illuminated shadow in his vision. She moved, just slightly, allowing his blurred eyes to be struck by that tiny light, but also to see her face more clearly. White skin, sad eyes, cast all in shadows and swallowed by them. Beautiful light, enveloping the beautiful darkness.

He choked, and Kikyou shifted again, forward, pulling his mouth open slightly, not enough to overstretch the contracted skin, but so that he found room in his mouth to move his tongue. The gagging ceased, and the bleary eyes tried to dilate, to meet with the vision before him, but the shifting lightness and darkness confused them, and once again they were closed, and for him the dark was absolute.

Still, though, in the gleam of the tiny fire, as Kagome watched Kikyou move with speed and skill to save a life she did not know was so dangerous, it seemed to her that the face of Onigumo, cracked and pinched though it was, wore, ever so faintly, a smile.

And in her mind she imagined a withered voice whisper, "_Ah, I desire..._"

* * *

Special thanks to Kylara, for telling me a bit about what happens in episode 87 of the anime. Like most of my IY fics, I tend to use a blend of both manga and anime versions. For the most part, I use the anime to fill in what is not mentioned in the manga...or some added scenes here and there. I'm also a bit more familiar with the anime, since I can see that...I don't own the manga, and though translations are wonderful, beautiful things that I keep up on, it's just not quite the same without the full medium of the images.

Don't worry too much about the 'new' characters in this chapter. Chikara turns up again, but the brothers were basically your ordinary Random Villagers. Occasionally, some originals are needed to further plot and give information to Important People. ^_^

Ten points to anyone who can identify the inspiration for this chapter's title! ^.^

_Riddle of the Day: If you found Onigumo lying helpless in a cave, what would you do?_

Til next chapter, 'The Red String of Fate'  
~Queen

Playing this chapter:  
_Kyrie,_ Jocelyn Montgomery  
_Gollum's Song,_ LotR- Two Towers  
_Inuyasha _OST 2


	5. The red string of fatE

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_And now I speak to you are you in there_  
_You have her face and her eyes_  
_But you are not her_  
_Can't stop loving_  
_Can't stop what is on its way_  
_And I see it coming_  
_And it's on its way_  
_-Bells for Her, Tori Amos_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 4- The red string of fatE

She stepped outside, unseen.

Moonlight poured down like silver water, turning the land into a white patchwork of shadows, images only and lacking in mystery and depth to her eyes. The world seemed cold; she wanted to curl up in bed under warm blankets and find comfort there in the familiar routine of sickness. Mama would bring her green tea, and antibiotics or aspirin, and she would feel better after a good long sleep without fevered bad dreams.

No green tea awaited her. No aspirin, no comforting Mama. The nightmare was real and the sickness was that of her heart. A physical ache had settled into her stomach over the day, growing stronger the more she found herself mechanically moving to help Kikyou save Onigumo's life. The memory of his blistered face was burned into her thoughts. She could see it every time she closed her eyes. Disgust, fear, loathing, pity. Dread. Yes, a sense of dread. Yes, of foreboding, of doom. She knew what aiding him meant. But what else could she do? Ask Kikyou to leave a wounded man to die? To stop breathing and let horrible injuries consume him instead of youkai?

She knew what the miko would say. It was the same thing she would, if she and the others found a wounded man on their journeys. Stop, help, it's the right thing to do. You can't just leave an injured man to die alone. What kind of terrible person would just let someone die? Especially not knowing who and what he had the potential to become? It rankled, unsettling her and keeping her awake. That face, the thought of what was to come.

Her feet strayed forward, seeking out that nonexistent source of comfort. Kagome had moved as silently as she could out of the hut she was trapped sharing, sliding the shoji closed with the faintest of clicks. Kikyou would know she left, Kagome thought with a twinge of worry. She probably slept lightly, probably watched her. No, that was just paranoia talking, and she tried to scold herself for it. Kikyou was not some all pervading, nebulous monster watching her every move like a hawk. Baka.

Picking up her pace, she slipped past the teimizu-ya and its trickling flow of icy black water, and down the stone steps and through the torii. She avoided the Goshinboku, skirting around it. Part of her wanted to touch it, to feel connected to her home, but she didn't want to look at anything that regarded what was supposed to be the near future, not right now.

Brushing past the night clothed branches and brambles, she wound her way to the Bone Eater's Well. Late that evening, when she and Kikyou had finally returned to the village, they had quickly issued orders for the removal of the youkai carcass in the field. It seemed like an afterthought now, but looking down, there lay the crooked, jutting skeleton of the weasel.

Down, down there where she should be able to jump and land in her own time.

If Naraku were born. _Only_ if Naraku were born.

Did it have to come?

She closed her eyes a moment, almost twitching. There were such issues in her world, of course. Euthanasia. Mercy killing. It made sense, and was a valid argument. Onigumo was a quadriplegic, essentially. Even with the technology and care of her era, he could never hope to achieve full health again. Here, in this sengoku jidai? Here he would be fated to live the life of a hopeless cripple, surviving off of Kikyou's goodwill and kindness. Kindness? It seemed almost alien to think of the miko as simply being _kind_. Kagome was too accustomed to the way her time's Kikyou tried to manipulate or control their fates. This Kikyou didn't have any other plans for Onigumo. What could she possibly have?

If he did die, though...say, quietly, maybe with a blanket pressed to his face...she shuddered. It would change things, yes, change things. For the better, right? All he had done...or would do. Averted, by the simple application of a pillow. It seemed surreal. Miroku-sama's curse, gone. His entire family, beginning with his grandfather, would be spared. No more kazaana. She knew he'd be happy about that. Sango-chan probably would be too, now that she thought about it. A smile strayed to her face momentarily. That would definitely make that situation better. Assuming, of course, they still met in the future...

Sango-chan's family would never have died. Her village wouldn't have been destroyed by Naraku's summoning the vengeful youkai there, Kohaku would never have been controlled, never fallen into Naraku's hands, never used against them. He'd be happy, and normal, living with the other taiji-ya, and learning how to fight alongside his elder sister.

Indirectly, maybe even Shippou...Hiten and Manten had been high on shikon shards when they attacked his parents. On a normal level of power, maybe the kitsune pair could have fended them off...or just escaped. Without Kikyou's taking the tama with her into death, it being reincarnated into Kagome, and Kagome's accidental breaking of it...Shippou would still have his parents, too.

Then there were the others, all affected by Naraku, down the months they'd traveled. Not to mention the others like Shippou, several steps indirectly down the line of influence.

All possibly prevented by the mighty weapon of the pillow.

She sighed.

Onigumo, evil as he was, had not yet done anything wrong. Was it right to kill a man for crimes he had not yet committed? The future hadn't happened yet. But it would. He would kill, murder, betray, corrupt, and use trickery. He _deserved_ to die. And how easily she could do it.

Kagome sank to the ground, back to the lip of the well, curling her arms around her legs and hugging them to herself, wishing there was someone there with her, to lend some comfort. Mama would be nice. She always was kind and comforting. Mama almost never got mad. Sango-chan would be good to talk to. She covered her eyes with her hands, fighting back tears pressing from stress and loneliness.

Inuyasha couldn't protect her now. No, Inuyasha didn't even know her now...much less want to try to gruffly provide comfort.

In this time, he was probably in love with Kikyou. Yes, he would have to be. Kaede said he'd been hanging around for weeks. They already knew each other long before Onigumo came onto the scene. It wasn't fair. She was supposed to be in _her_ sengoku jidai, and she was supposed to be hoping that maybe someday he really would love _her_. Her, Kagome. Not her previous incarnation, Kikyou. The same soul, shared between two. Odd, though. Both in the same time, souls seemingly unaffected by the other's presence. Maybe signs hadn't shown up yet...or maybe they wouldn't at all. This was her soul, not Kikyou's. Same, but different. She was Kagome, born in the future, in Tokyo. Kikyou was a miko born in the past, the sengoku jidai. The same soul...had her incarnation of it simply traveled back with her?

She always said she was Kagome, not Kikyou. And she wasn't. But still. First Kaede, then that woman in the village, then Kikyou's recognition. They did appear alike, mirror images that didn't reflect quite perfectly. The first impressions they would have, real impressions, would be of how much she looked like Kikyou.

Warm tears began to wet her cheeks, trickling over her fingertips as she squeezed them shut more tightly, fighting against the confusion.

Leaves rustled beyond her. Then, roughly, "Kikyou?"

Emerging reluctantly from the brush before her, was a white haired figure clothed in red, golden eyes glowing faintly in the waning moonlight.

The questions that whirled in her mind died into nothingness, as she took sight of him, nervously edging closer to her with wary eyes.

Inuyasha. It was Inuyasha!

The expression of disbelieving joy that suddenly bloomed on Kikyou's face startled him, almost to the point of making him skitter backwards, so unfamiliar the look was. Instead he froze, eyes wide and staring, unsure how to react. This wasn't normal at all. Where was her sad face? Her lonely eyes?

He had picked up her scent and followed it, since it was somewhat strange for her to be wandering about in the middle of the night. She could take care of herself, but who knew what was out here? Other than him, of course. Until that expression filled her face, he had planned on finding out what was wrong; she was crying, quietly, softly, and that was completely unlike her. It worried him, but this...this just panicked him.

"K...Kikyou?"

Saying her name seemed to break the spell of her sudden happy mood, the smile slowly falling as a more familiar weight settled into her eyes. She had begun to rise at his arrival, and now stopped, sitting back and letting her hands clench on the grasses that bent around her. Not meeting his gaze, she mumbled, "Kagome."

"What?"

Her head snapped up, nearing anger for a moment. "My name! My name is Kagome." Her eyes rounded, and she looked again at the ground, echoing her words from so long ago, bitterly. "Kagome. Ka-go-me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he snarled back, now thoroughly confused and trying to find a way out of it. Kikyou didn't play stupid name games, what the hell was going on?

"Check your nose again," the stranger snapped back, scowling. Then she deflated once more, picking at the long white sleeve of her clothing. "Then again, I am wearing her clothes on top of it..."

She sure didn't _act_ like Kikyou. He stood still, watching her fiddle with the hem of her sleeve, then rub her closed eyes, as though steeling herself for some ordeal, while a pained expression settled on her features.

"My name is Kagome," she repeated, slowly, thickly. "I am staying with Kikyou," she stumbled over the name, recovering as best she could, "and Kaede for awhile. She just lent me some clothes..."

Inuyasha continued to stare. If this wasn't Kikyou, then he should leave. But the way the girl talked was strange. Like she knew him. His nose was telling him that it was her, that it had to be, but she was definitely not behaving normally. If she really wasn't Kikyou, who was this girl?

"Who are you?"

"I just told you," she repeated sourly, "Kagome."

He tried not to howl in frustration. This was getting nowhere, and he didn't want to- or need to- talk to some strange woman he didn't know, even if she did look like Kikyou. "Feh, I don't care who you are," he snarled, backing away. But before he could turn and leave, she was stumbling to her feet, crying for him to wait.

"What?" he demanded, now standing in the shadows of the trees, glad they were hiding him from the full view of the stranger. She looked strangely desperate, hopeful somehow, though it was tentative, as though expecting to receive disappointment at whatever words escaped her lips.

"You've been trying to get the Shikon no Tama, haven't you?" she blurted, the words hasty and not well planned. She wanted him to stay. Just to _stay,_ just to _be_ there. She wanted to run forward and hug him and bury her face in the fabric of his haori and pretend that this was just another bad dream and it was over, all over, and that it wasn't real. The Shikon no Tama was the first thing to fly into her mind.

Kagome knew she had said the wrong thing when his glinting eyes lowered in the darkness, growing narrower and more dangerous, patently suspicious of her. Her heart began to pound harder, now thudding in her ears instead of the engulfing silence she experienced before, barely aware that a low growling noise was crossing the distance between them. Inuyasha looked so feral this way, as though stalking prey, eyes intent, body lowered, claws out to his sides as though ready to spring and strike. It was a stance that preceded the Sankon Tetsusou, only turned against her once, when she had first arrived, and he had been trying to take the tama from her. It was a sharp reminder that this Inuyasha was not hers, who implicitly trusted her. She didn't want to be on the receiving end of his anger, or distrust. They were so far past that, now...but to say too much to this Inuyasha may goad him into striking.

"I just wanted to say...I'm really sorry, for what Kaede did this morning," she tried, holding her hands outward, palm up, signaling peace. "She...she won't do it again!"

The glowing eyes darted slightly to the side, as though considering something for a moment. The tension eased slightly, but was far from breaking. His eyes blinked, winking out for an instant and returning. "You were the one with the brat this morning. Not her."

"Yes...that was me...I..."

He cut her off. "So why didn't you just shoot me? What, no arrows?"

"Hey!" Kagome snapped back, putting her fists on her hips. "I don't want to shoot you."

"Oh, what, am I not worth the arrows to you, either?" he spat in reply. A grimace of pain glanced across Kagome's face. He wanted to use the tama to be a full youkai, then? Was he just saying that to make her angry? Or was he yet undecided?

"Maybe if you were trying to kill me. But I'm unarmed, and I don't think you'd try to. I don't have anything you want."

Pushing slightly forward, his face began to reemerge into the dim moonlight, and she could see the constant wariness engraved into his features. "Heh. You're awfully trusting."

She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. She needed to be in control of this, no matter how hard it was. "And you're awfully strong. I wouldn't be much fun to kill...besides, you don't look like you eat humans," she finished, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Heh," he emerged further into the light, an amused look mingling with the suspicion. He thought he had won the argument, but Kagome knew better. Even if this wasn't her Inuyasha, it was still Inuyasha, and as long as he thought he was in charge, then she was fine. "Better watch out though, unarmed miko are good targets for those who do."

"You'd protect me," Kagome replied, almost absently in her relief for not being on the receiving end of a Sankon Tetsusou. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she clamped it shut, mind screaming at her for being an idiot. This was a bad idea, talking to him. Very, very bad. She should have known better, her mouth would run away with itself and she'd be in serious trouble.

The amusement vanished from his face, and he was again openly antagonistic, posturing for a fight once more, knuckles cracking as he flexed them. "And why the hell would I do an asinine thing like that?"

Panic seized her for a moment, then she managed, "Because it'd be insulting to you if some lesser youkai killed me before you did, after leaving me alone."

He actually laughed, the barking sound harsh to her ears. It wasn't happy laughter. His laughter, rare as it was, hadn't sounded so forced to her in ages. "Then I guess you're just lucky, whoever you are."

"I said my name is-"

"Yeah, yeah, Kagome. Ka-go-me," he mimicked badly, earning a scowl from her, which caused him to grin in triumph. "Just keep that brat from throwing those damn rocks at me again, or I'll have to slice her up," he finished, flexing his claws a final time. There was the sound of cloth flapping in the air, and before she could stop him again, he was gone, vanished into the shadows of the night, leaving her standing still in the darkness.

That was not her Inuyasha.

Inuyasha was not supposed to be suspicious of her. Not anymore.

He wasn't supposed to threaten her, not supposed to glare at her with any hatred.

Inuyasha wasn't supposed to laugh with such bitterness.

His heart wasn't made of stone, not towards her. It was pliant, growing gentle, more caring, no matter how rough his exterior always seemed to be. Her Inuyasha had friends, friends like a family. But there were no friends here. No little-brother Shippou, no best-friend Miroku, no sisterly Sango. Even Kaede, as a child, threw rocks at him, thinking him just another youkai after the tama. And, strangely, maybe he was. This was not her hero, not the one she loved. Were they really the same boy? The same man?

It wasn't right.

No.

No, it was definitely not right. This wasn't a good life for him. What good would come of living that way? Running around in the forests doing who knew what, when he wasn't busy trying to get to the shrine of the tama. He deserved better than that. He _had_ better than that, in the fifty-years-ahead future. He was happier with her and the others. Didn't things in this time happen for a reason? Fate...didn't fate choose the path they took? Ultimately, walking that path, it brought him to a better situation. To friends who were like family...and, well, if she was part of that family, well then so much the better. A future different from the one she knew seemed scorching to her mind.

Inuyasha wasn't supposed to stay in this time. He was supposed to be shot to that tree, he was supposed to sleep for fifty years, he was supposed to reawaken when she pulled that purifying arrow out of his chest, and they were supposed to look for the shards of the damned Shikon no Tama together! Was it right to change what had been? Of course not...temporal distortions could happen. Who knew how large?

All she had to do was nothing. And it was so easy to do nothing. Just step aside, right? Just let that bastard Naraku be born, just let him do what he was supposed to do, let things happen the way they should, Inuyasha could be hers...

Kagome pounded a fist into the trunk of a tree, feeling it shiver up into its higher branches, a few straggling leaves floating downward from above, loosened at the impact. Doing nothing was not easy.

Naraku deserved to die. He should die. He would die, in the future. They would see to that, Inuyasha and herself, and the others. She could do it now. Before it even happened. It would be as though it never even was. Her life, here in the sengoku jidai led up to that sole purpose.

And the price? The price was the life of Kikyou, her enemy, her rival.

Wouldn't it really be better if she just died?

Kagome shuddered at the thought.

Future knowledge, at least, did hold a terrible power.

* * *

_teimizu-ya:_ The basin of running water at the entrance of a shrine, used for purification rituals  
_torii: _The arches over shrine entrances, usually painted red

This chapter is just a slight bit shorter than the others- I hope I made up in content for what it lacks in length. ^_^ Chapter 4 truly needed to be stand-alone, due to what happens- and the next chapter doesn't have a good spot to break it up at.

It really was just a matter of time before Inuyasha entered the story, making an appearance. I hope this went off well. ^.~

_Riddle of the Day: Do you think Kagome will kill Onigumo or not?_

Kudos to Miriam and KevinEC! ::throws confetti:: Chapter 3's title was taken from an old (ie. 'original series') _Star Trek_ episode called 'City on the Edge of Forever.' I was trying to think of chapter titles and that came to mind. If anyone out there's seen it...you should be able to tell why. ^.^

And to Azurite (and any others wondering) with the way I've spelled the chapter titles...nope, the capitalization is just that way because I think it's kinda cute. ^.^; Sorry, no grandiose master plan there. ^.~

Til next chapter, _'To Descend on Darkened Wings'_  
~Queen

Playing this chapter:  
_hy a Scullyas lyff adlagrow-_ Aphex Twin  
_With This Love- _Peter Gabriel (choir)


	6. To descend on darkened wingS

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_She dreams a little, and she feels the dark_  
_Encroachment of that old catastrophe._

_Why should she give her bounty to the dead?_  
_What is divinity if it can come_  
_Only in silent shadows and in dreams?_

_Death is the mother of beauty; hence from her,_  
_Alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams_  
_And our desires._

_-Wallace Stevens, Sunday Morning_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 5- To descend on darkened wingS

Rice and grain were stacked high the storage shed, brown wooden barrels full of food for the village kept for emergencies. Unfortunately, the shed was not overly large, and the rations were not set aside for two villages; merely one. Illuminated by the rectangle of light provided by the open door, it seemed like it would be far from enough.

"Can't you trade for more food? The village doesn't seem that badly off," Kagome murmured, idly fondling the empty bottle around her neck. Maybe they could find a source of food elsewhere.

"With who?" Chikara grunted, her thick features set in a heavy frown. "There's bandits in the forests and in the hills. There's taxes cropping up from the idiot daiymo for travelers on the roads, and of course, let's not forget the rampaging youkai that just eat the traders that actually do manage to come. No, we're on our own. Your village must be awfully safe if you can trade out in these times, Kagome-sama." She backed out, letting Kagome edge backward, without tripping over Kaede, who was frowning at the supplies the way Chikara was.

Kagome blanched slightly, but nodded. "Ah, yes, I guess you could say that..."

"Then count yourself as lucky," she told her grimly, "that whoever is in charge of your domain is strong enough to keep it that way. Just blasted chaos around here lately. Damn youkai," she spat. Then her features softened slightly as she managed a smile at Kagome. "It's good of you," she glanced down at Kaede as well, including her, "and you, to help out around here. Especially since that poor man up in the cave can't even move."

"Eh..." Kagome managed, trying not to look either disgusted or horrified. 'Onigumo' and 'poor man' did not belong in the same thought.

"Onee-sama says he probably will only last a couple more weeks, at best. Or worst," she added as an afterthought. "It must stink to live like that. I wonder if he'll even be able to talk."

"I wouldn't doubt it," Kagome muttered under her breath, though loudly enough for Kaede to hear.

"You think he will? It'd be good to at least know his name. There still are people missing from the other village. If he got burned up by the youkai in the battle, then we could tell his family, at least." Chikara was nodding in agreement with the sensible words, but Kagome's frown had deepened.

"No. You haven't seen the cave yet, Kaede-chan. He was put there. With that degree of burns, he couldn't have just run in. Besides, there was a mat or something over him, and no charring to the cave itself. The fire didn't take place in there. I seriously doubt he's from the other village," the last words were filled with such subtle bitterness that the other two blinked in surprise at the young miko. "He's a bandit that was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"You seem awfully sure of that..." Chikara trailed, trying to imagine why Kagome-sama would seem to negative about the man. It wasn't as though they knew anything about him. Though if what she said was true, it was a good speculation. She had said herself only a moment ago that there were many bandits in the area.

Kagome seemed to realize how strong she must have sounded, backing up a bit mentally and trying to smile grimly. "It's just a hunch. Intuition. But I think I'm right."

"Still," Kaede sighed, looking around at the small groups milling around the huts. Too many people in one place at one time would end up causing problems in the end, even if some of them were relatives. "It's not good to just leave him there alone to die. At least he'll have some company when we come."

Kagome's stomach turned over. She knew she'd have to end up helping him, if she stayed here in her guise as a miko. The concept, however, seemed appalling if not downright sickening. She should just place that pillow over his face. She'd been fighting him so damned long. At least, his future self. She wanted him dead. It'd be so easy... "Kikyou will probably be going to take care of him most of the time, Kaede-chan. That's why we're going over the stores."

"I know," Kaede droned. "I'd still like to see it."

Kagome wrinkled her nose. "Kaede, believe me, you don't want to see him."

"He can't be _that _disgusting..."

"You'll see for yourself," Chikara cut in, before Kagome had to admonish the girl for arguing over something so silly. She placed her fists on her wide hips. "I'm sure your sister will need help someday. Until then, run and see if you can find out an exact number of people now in the village, both ours and the visitors. We'll have to start rationing until we can figure out what to do."

Kaede sighed and turned, ready to start running around and gathering a miniature census. Through just as Chikara finished her words, a murmur began to rise through the people around them, heads began to lift and look towards the west, where the clattering of hooves began to sound, echoing up between the wooden walls of the houses. A moment later, a figure on horseback burst through one of the alleyways, sending several people scattering to the sides and out of the rider's way, pulling into the center of the village and wheeling the sorrel gelding around.

They'd been running for a long time, and hard. Foam laced the flanks of the horse, and it pranced nervously, eyes wild and rolling as it snorted at the people and stomped on the ground menacingly. It's rider straightened up, sending a hasty gaze around the square, searching for something. Immediately, Kagome recognized who and what their rider was. Clothed in form fitting black, with light blue armor and the familiar weapon of a chain scythe, the kusara kama, on her hip, she was clearly a taiji-ya.

Lightly built, a sweat drenched black ponytail was whipping around her shoulders as she scanned the area, shouting for attention. "Miko-sama! Is the miko-sama here? I need to speak to..." she stopped as brown eyes met with the three quickly approaching her, Kagome in the center and dressed again in the white and red robes of a priestess. Relief washed the woman's face instantly, and she urged her mount forward slightly as she swung down, bowing deeply though keeping a firm grip on the reins of the skittish horse. "You are the keeper of the tama?" came the breathless question when she came up from her bow, eyes intent on Kagome, who was already shaking her head, though slightly relieved she didn't get asked if she was Kikyou, again.

"No?" her eyes grew bewildered, then determined as she made a fist, leaning forward urgently. "Where can I find her? It's extremely important."

"Kikyou-oneesama is at the cave where there's an injured man," Kaede supplied, already edging away towards the woods and the lake. "I can get her."

"It'd be faster if I took..." came the immediate protest, only to be silenced as Chikara took the reins from her hand and began to lead the exhausted creature to the side.

Chikara's words were sharp. "You're dead tired, so is your ride. Kaede-chan, go get your sister. Quickly."

"Right!" She was off and running in an instant, tearing through the town and disappearing.

"Kaede-chan is quick," Kagome consoled as the woman's expression settled into a grimace. "Lets get your horse cooled off and you something to eat. I'm Kagome."

"I'm honored to meet you, Kagome-sama. I'm Shinju of the taiji-ya," she nodded politely in acknowledgment. Her eyes darted towards the older woman. "And?"

"Chikara, local busybody. I'll get your horse some feed. We're low on grain, but we should have some hay around. Kagome-sama, my house is over there," she gestured towards a well kept hut just down the street. "Find some food for our taiji-ya guest. There should be something around. I'll take care of my friend here," she thumped the horse lovingly on the neck, pulling it gently towards one of the water troughs.

"We'd better do as she says," Kagome urged the woman, lightly tapping her on the arm to keep her attention. She still seemed about ready to bolt off after Kaede, in order to find Kikyou herself. "It'll only be a few minutes. I'm sure Chikara-obaasan has some water and food in her house."

A consternated expression crossed Shinju's face as she deliberated between duty and the exhaustion that was settling into the weary muscles of her body. It had been a long, hard ride, and her weapon had not be unused in the race towards the village, as it was far from unused in the last two days. She was tired, saddlesore, thirsty, hungry, and though the danger was not yet fully passed, it would not be, at least not for some time yet. Perhaps, though, a few minutes reprieve would be helpful, refreshments refreshing, and she'd be able to return a bit more hale overall. After a deep sigh, Shinju allowed herself to be guided towards the hut at the end of the alley.

Kagome watched their visitor carefully, as she brushed damp bangs from her eyes with the back of her hand. The day was warm, and the exercise with the horse was causing rivulets of sweat to bead down her forehead and cheeks. Hurriedly, she swept aside the cloth covering the doorway of Chikara's home, a small, squarish hut that had recently been tidied up. The coals in the brazier were dim, giving the place a slightly smoky scent, and there was a bucket of water resting beside the small open pit, the end of a bamboo ladle extending from one end.

"I guess you should help yourself..." Kagome gestured to the water, and Shinju, now with permission, gratefully headed towards it, gulping down the cool liquid, spooning it to her lips and draining the ladle with every sip.

Kagome began to search through some of the baskets that were stacked neatly against one of the walls, hoping to find something useful. She found herself pulling out a wooden bowl and chopsticks, along with a thick green cloth a moment later, fluffy enough to use as a hand towel.

"Ah, here...I'm still looking for some food..." she offered, and the towel was accepted, wiping away the clinging strands of dark hair from the taiji-ya's face. Revealed beneath the grey road dust and tired expression was a pair of light brown eyes and a fair complexion, a sprinkle of pale freckles spotting over her nose and cheeks, giving the woman a slightly youthful look. Kagome found her brows knitting together, and forced herself to turn away before Shinju noticed her scrutiny.

Vaguely, she tried to match the face to Sango's. No, not Sango...more Kohaku. Yes, a couple generations previous. The same wide brown eyes, and the same look about the features, feminized. Not identical, certainly not the same gender, but if Shinju was from the same village of taiji-ya, which was very likely, then somewhere down the line, they could have been related. A great aunt, or cousin, perhaps. She busied herself with her search to keep from wondering too much about it, though a strained smile came to her face at the thought of meeting some ancestral relation of her friend's. Even the weapon...had she carried a giant boomerang, Kagome may have started laughing at the thought.

_Pay attention_, she scolded herself. Simply asking about the family of a woman she didn't know would have sounded odd or even suspicious. There were greater things going on in the world, apparently. Her head darted back and forth around the room as she moved on to another grouping of baskets. How did Chikara arrange things? In her haste, Kagome spotted at bow and quiver of arrows leaning up against the far wall as her eyes darted back and forth. The quiver was nearly empty, the bow unstrung from disuse. But it was a bow, and she wondered who used it in the household. She hadn't met Chikara's husband yet, so presumably him.

Busy hands led to the discovery of a wicker basket, the inside lined with paper and holding dried apple slices, a slightly cinnamony scent rising as she pulled the lid off in triumph. Carrying it back, she offered it to her, Shinju quickly chewing several of the slices.

"Are you injured at all? Any wounds?"

Through a gulp of water, she shook her head. "No. Nothing major and nothing unattended to. It's mostly just dirt, maybe some bloodstains, not mine," Shinju grumbled, smearing another streak of dirt off with the now stained green towel. "The roads are drying out from the rain a couple days back, so some of it's just a mess, other parts are getting dusty again. It's a nasty trip."

Kagome knelt down, stirring up the coals in the brazier. She could get some water warmed up, at least, for Shinju to wash her face with. A better job than the towel. "From where? What happened?"

"The attack the other day," she made a backward motion with her head, as though the time were a distance she were referring to, "all the people you've got in town now? From that battlefield. It started out a few leagues from here, got nasty and rolled into their town. By the time word passed up to us, it was nearly over. My husband and I...a few others of us, along with the okashira...we came down, but all we've been able to do is catch the strays and figure out what happened."

"By tracking?"

A curt nod. "The place is a mess," she set down the ladle into the bucket, now dipping past the halfway mark, and grimaced. "They're going to have a lot of rebuilding to do. It's been bad, trying to follow the path of the battle. Lots of lower level youkai, and from the looks of it, they were working in groups. That's damn rare. I'd like to know why. It stinks of leadership. And now with all the remains lying around, the bones are attracting more of the vermin. Someone needs to put the bones to rest. Burying them doesn't do enough."

"That's why you came to get Kikyou?"

Another nod. "That's why I came to get Kikyou-sama."

Kagome bit her lip. She didn't remember hearing much about any old youkai graveyards that needed to be avoided in the area, so Kikyou must have gone and succeeded in the taiji-ya's request. How did one do something like that though? A blessing? A spell? A ward? An immolation? "And if she can't do anything?" Kagome asked curiously, still trying to figure out what would be needed for a ritual like that. It was simply beyond her knowledge.

"Then the villagers have nowhere to go for a long time, and we have a haunted youkai graveyard between your village and mine." Shinju answered, taking another slice of apple from the basket and placing it to her lips thoughtfully.

A high pitched shout issued from outside lifted the heads of the two women, and a moment later, it was repeated, Kaede's figure bolting in through the door and letting the covering flap wildly behind her. "Kagome-sama! Shinju-san..." she trailed off, looking behind her expectantly. Again, the tarp rustled, and Kikyou brushed it aside, ducking under the entrance with Chikara behind her, both of them moving into the room and Kikyou setting aside her bag of medicines and her bow.

Shinju, still kneeling, immediately bowed low to the ground, then looked up with certainty this time. "You are the guardian of the Shikon no Tama?"

"I am."

"I am Shinju, of the taiji-ya. I was ordered to come and request your aid in putting to rest a battleground of the youkai." The words sounded firmly, and her eyes were expectant and hopeful. At this, Kikyou took a place on the floor, kneeling and facing Shinju while Kaede edged her way over next to Kagome, and Chikara hovered on the peripherals of the assembly, watching guardedly out one of the windows should anyone try to interrupt.

Shinju continued, "Miko-sama, I was just telling your sister about the situation..." she hesitated when Kikyou lifted an eyebrow and glanced at Kagome and Kaede, the younger of which was repressing a giggle and looking sideways at a somewhat nervous Kagome. "Miko-sama?" Shinju asked, puzzled as to the varied expressions.

"Kagome is not my sister. Kaede is."

At that, Shinju did a double take, brown eyes wide as she blinked back and forth between the three of them, trying to assimilate that information and decide what to make of it. After a moment, she decided to wonder about it later, once the trouble was past. "Goodness..." she managed after a moment, then began again, "Gomen...then...I was briefly telling Kagome-sama about the situation before you arrived, Kikyou-sama."

Kikyou nodded, waiting. "Then begin again. I'd like to hear all of it."

Shinju closed her eyes a moment before beginning. Talking to Kagome had flowed so easily; it wasn't that Kikyou was haughty, or simply that she guarded the Shikon no Tama, but with her she carried an unearthly aura that somehow kept her aloof, distant from people, a thing Kagome lacked. Did that make her a more powerful priestess, or a less powerful one? Perhaps neither, but simply an attitude acquired through life. This was the one she was sent to find, therefore this was the one she would return with.

Her words began haltingly as she recalled the events, but slowly built into an easygoing storytelling rhythm. "Three days ago, at our village, some of our watchmen noticed a build up of youki in the distance, the clouds darkened and there was an ill wind. Okashira ordered several of us out to investigate, and by the time we were halfway to the location, we could already hear the sound of battle rising up from the plains. My husband began signaling for reinforcements." She paused, looking up to explain, while touching her hip as though something should rest there. "He has our horn. I left after reinforcements began to arrive, but there were way too many for us to fight. Taiji-ya usually take on one or two at a time...we're not equipped for an all out war on youkai.

"So we stuck to the edges of the fray, cleared out a few paths for some of the refugees to head here or into the forest for cover. I've never seen anything quite like it," she shuddered at the memory. "There were two sides, nearly all lesser breeds. Both were trying to head in this direction, but they intercepted each other. It was the assumption of several of us that both groups were headed here, for the tama," she met Kikyou's eyes, "but were interrupted by the presence of the other."

"And they fought for the rights to come here," Kikyou finished for her, following the taiji-ya's train of thought. "Did you see leaders?"

"We're not sure. But there is a carcass of one torn up unusually large youkai in the middle of the rice fields. Whatever killed that one is still at large. Two of our hunters have been tracking for signs, but the search is somewhat blind."

Kagome burst in, "Did you see what the winner looked like? What...what he was?" Possibilities were reeling through Kagome's head, and she hoping that whatever the creature was, it wasn't anyone she knew, or would know.

Shinju turned her head to look at Kagome, a frown on her face. "I didn't see personally, no. The few villagers left around weren't able to get a good look, but one was claiming it was a monster. Which doesn't tell us much."

"Because it could have been a taiyoukai transformation?" Kaede queried, and was rewarded with several nods of agreement. She smiled, folding her arms at her deduction, then looked very grave. "Then we don't know how strong the thing is."

"No. Or where."

"Which brings you to why you're here," prompted Kikyou. "There must be many remains from a clash of two armies."

Shinju bent her head, her hands forming into clenched fists. "There are many. With a fight that large, the remaining youki will be a strong pull to the area for other youkai unless something is done to dissipate it. Okashira thought that you would be able to purify the area, Kikyou-sama. Or dispel the youki there, to keep the youkai from being attracted back to the area, so the villagers could return."

Kikyou's head was bowed during these last words, her gaze steady upon the wooden planks of Chikara's home. She could feel the eyes of the others pressing heavily on her, Chikara curious, Kaede hopeful, Shinju expectant, and Kagome...her look was different, watchful, weighted, as though she knew already the decision, but was almost too breathless to guess at it, for fear of being proven wrong. Somehow, the young miko knew Kikyou would be going, but also understood the predicament she left behind.

Two youkai armies, one presumably still with a leader wandering the land, had fought over the Shikon no Tama. No matter how strong she was, she could be simply overwhelmed at some point, overcome by sheer numbers. A lucky shot somewhere, from an unexpected quarter, and she would be delayed or injured or simply dead. No matter how strong she was, it was a situation she could not help but consider. She was not immortal. Death could easily wrap its wings around her, and carry her into the flames. This was a bet that a thinking youkai would take; therefore she had to assume the worse case scenario, that she was facing a taiyoukai. However, it had also lost much of its following, and may be nearly alone. She could handle that, and perhaps with some help...she bit her lip silently, pushing that thought aside. No, there would be no help. He would not help her. She was alone...alone still, despite foolish dreams. This was her battle alone, as always.

She could not abandon her duty. The taiji-ya themselves had placed the Shikon no Tama in her pale white hands, and she had taken it into her keeping. And yet, here again, was a taiji-ya, requesting her help in stopping what could also cause a disaster. Both paths led to the assembly of more youkai in the area, and the rebuilding of that massive number, that again could swarm towards her home, her shrine, and her small family. From under the length of her bangs, she glanced at Kaede, who had her brows lifted and eyes focused on her elder sister, waiting for her decision.

It really was no decision. Not going led to a small attack sooner; going led to a large attack later. But she could not take the tama away with her to the battlefield. Certainly not. That would be a pure disaster, as though setting off an alarm to every youkai in the area that the object they all so desired was walking out to meet them.

She couldn't stay, and she couldn't go. She couldn't be in two places at once, both protecting the tama and protecting the people.

"I can guard it."

The eyes that had been watching Kikyou so carefully immediately switched to the source of the soft voice, of Kagome who was sitting very still and lightly rubbing a clear little bottle that she wore around her neck. She did not meet their eyes, but looked quietly at Kikyou, the two sets of grey blue meeting each other evenly and thoughtfully.

Between the two women there was a struggle, as one's will pressed against the other's, testing and searching. Between them was a deathly calm, an openness around Kagome mingled with a determined sadness, that softened her features and made them uncharacteristically sorrowful. The onlookers of that moment saw two women sitting there, of the same face and features, of the same silent, transparent aura of power that swirled so lightly and darkly against each other, seeking out a reason why they understood each other so completely then, but still remained utterly wary and with underlying guard. Each miko, despite her misgivings or hesitancies, slowly, painfully, and silently began to respect the other, for each was equally pure and strong.

The breathlessness ended.

"You may."

Shinju and Chikara reacted first, both with bewilderment and protest despite the silent display they had witnessed a moment before. Kikyou was in charge of the tama, not Kagome, and she wasn't supposed to care for it. The tama was a powerful item, and no matter how trustworthy Kagome was, there were rules for such things.

"Kikyou-sama!"

"Miko-sama!" Shinju looked almost wildly between the two priestesses sitting before her. "Surely...but...you are..."

"I cannot be in two places at once, Shinju-san," Kikyou told her quietly, shaking her head at the impossibility. "The tama needs to be cared for, and the bones blessed to keep them from summoning further trouble. The distance is not a long one, and we will return to the village as soon as the sealing is complete."

Shinju was silent, trusting Kikyou's words as well as Kagome's silence. Both were miko, and surely if Kikyou said Kagome was capable...she only dreaded what her okashira would say at the abandonment of the tama. Chikara's opinion kept her from being silent, though she too trusted her village miko, and had come to like the new arrival. Her face was grave as she spoke.

"Kikyou-sama, it's not that I don't believe Kagome-sama could care for it," she glanced apologetically at Kagome, who gave her a small smile of understanding, "but it was placed into your care. Couldn't Kagome-sama seal away the youki, instead?"

"I would have offered to do that," Kagome broke in, sounding slightly sheepish, "but basically, I don't know how. I'm still learning things like this...if I could go, I would, but...well..."

"Someone needs to guard the Shikon no Tama," Kikyou finished for her. "Your soul is pure. Holding the tama in your hand for two days will bring neither it, nor you, enough harm."

"Then it's settled..." Shinju breathed, relief coloring her voice as she looked between the two similarly faced women. "We should go, immediately."

Kikyou rose to her feet, looking at Chikara. "We'll need fresh horses, and food. Medicines to help any of the taiji-ya."

"Kagome-sama and I were checking stores just before Shinju-san arrived. I'll see what I can do. Kaede-chan, may I request your help?"

"Coming!" The youngest leapt to her feet and headed after the older woman, ducking out of the doorway with a determined air clouding around her, Kaede's footsteps pattering against the wood and then the packed dirt as she ran.

"If we are going soon, I'd like to check on my mount," Shinju added, standing slowly on muscles that had just begun to stiffen into place. "Kikyou-sama, should I meet you back here in a few minutes?"

"That will be fine."

Shinju stood, bowed politely, and exited through the doorway, the curtain flapping behind her.

The two miko stood alone within the shaded sunlight of the house.

"There is a fence around the tama," Kikyou said after a long moment, the twin sets of eyes following the retreat of their company. At the statement, Kagome turned slightly to look at the silhouette of the previous incarnation of herself. Slowly, Kikyou's lashes fell to her cheeks, and she sighed, ever so softly, as though releasing a breath she had held for so very long a time. There was a feeling, however faint and laced with concern, of relief stirring around her, emanating from the form of the miko who was so vigilant in her watch over the tama. There was no one to help her, Kagome realized, not even this era's Inuyasha. Whatever trust or truce there was between them was not permanent, at least, not until the ultimate proof of giving away the Shikon no Tama was enacted. Until that time, there would only be Kaede, still a child, and unable to relieve much of her onee-sama's burden.

Kagome, however, could. For the next two days or so, whatever length it took for Kikyou and Shinju to travel to the location of the battlefield and back again...for that length, Kikyou would be an ordinary miko, with the same kinds of responsibilities as Kaede-obaachan would have fifty years from now. She would still worry about the Shikon no Tama; that was part of her duty. But to leave it behind, even if only for awhile, was a welcome respite.

When Kikyou's eyes reopened, she looked at Kagome with a warm kind of warning in her expression, the same kind a mother uses before reminding a child to buckle up their safety belt or wear a helmet when rollerblading. "The fence...it will fade the further I pass from it. You will have to keep the tama with you, so be very, very wary." Her brows drew together uneasily. "You are certain you can handle this?"

Kagome couldn't help but allow a small, contented smile tug at the corners of her mouth, as she replied, "I can handle it."

After all, she already had...albeit with the help of a few friends.

* * *

_Shinju:_ pearl  
_kusara kama: _a chain scythe, Kohaku's weapon  
_okashira:_ commander, leader of a group of fighters  
_youki_: a youkai aura

And so the plot thickens a bit more...

Just a bit. ^.^;

I debated awhile in the very early stages of coming up with this fic about having some old family member of either Sango's or Miroku's come in...Miroku's grandfather, pre-kazaana or some relation of Sango's- one of the taiji-ya. I ended up opting for the latter, since it made more sense in the long run...despite the humorously crazed ideas about Miroku's grandpa. I haven't really specified how Shinju is related to Sango and Kohaku...having her look identical and be their grandmother just seemed too stereotypical. But it's really fun imagining that they are related. ^.~ Besides, she does live in the same village (with a fairly low population, so limited prospective marriageable men) as they do...or will...so it's not too unlikely. I tend to think of her as a great aunt.

Thanks go out to Sango-sama for telling me the name of Kohaku's weapon!

And thanks to Mina Maxwell for helping me pick the name Shinju...or at least, the name Pearl, converted into Shinju. ^.^

_Riddle of the Day: Can you see Miroku's piously lecherous grandfather trying to hit on Kikyou?_

Til next chapter, '_A Lady Lazarus_'  
~Queen

Music this chapter: _Melody of the Dark _and _Heartbeat of a Shinma,_ from _Vampire Princess Miyu._


	7. A lady lazaruS

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_Soon, soon the flesh_  
_The grave cave ate will be_  
_At home on me_

_And I am a smiling woman._

_-Sylvia Plath, Lady Lazarus_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 6- A lady lazaruS

Knotting the strips of cloth back together, Kagome nodded satisfactorily and lightly patted the man's leg. "It's good you've been keeping off it, but it still will take some time to heal up. It's a bad break, Kossetsu-san."

Kneeling just inside the door of the hut, Kagome had taken over as the local miko, at least for a couple days in the absence of Kikyou. Though her face was still somewhat new, it was also reminiscent of one they did trust, and she was readily accepted, though sometimes they were surprised at the more lighthearted demeanor of the younger priestess.

It was the afternoon of the day after Kikyou left, riding off with Shinju to find the village and bury the bones of the youkai that had slaughtered each other in the fields and run through the destroyed town. The young man laying out before her was fidgety, stir crazy before many settings of the sun. It was going to be hard convincing him to do what he should: stay in bed, keep the leg up, and rest.

"But I was hoping to go..."

"Kossetsu," his wife admonished, kneeling down beside him and smoothing out her skirt, and offering him a cup of water, "You'll make it worse if you don't follow Kagome-sama's orders. Do you want all my running around and saving you to go to waste?" She arched an eyebrow, folding her arms imperiously, causing Kossetsu to duck sheepishly and Kagome to suppress a giggle. Kossetsu's wife Seiko was a force to be reckoned with...at least where her husband was concerned. "Besides, you go out now and mess yourself up again, you can tell me who's going to do the harvesting when I'm as big as a watermelon?" she patted her stomach meaningfully.

"I didn't mean it like that, dear..." he tried to reason with her and she shrugged, shaking her head and smiling lightly, pressing the water at him again. Accepting it, he thanked her.

"How long have you two been married?" Kagome asked, tilting her head to the side and finally allowing herself to chuckle at the scene.

"Two months," Kossetsu mumbled around the clay mug, earning a sour look from Seiko.

"Don't talk while you're drinking."

He polished off the glass and set it down. "I'm answering the miko-sama's question!"

She rolled her eyes, then looked at Kagome conspiratorially, whispering with a hand to the side of her mouth. "Two months, and he's already knocked me up. See what happens when you get married young?"

"You were the one who dragged me off to get married!"

"Ho, yes, and if I knew you'd be silly enough want to go running off with the rest of the rabble and mess up your leg again maybe I would have picked someone smarter."

He looked to the ceiling covered heaven for patience. "Why do I doubt that?"

She brought up a hand to her mouth and started laughing. Kagome was shaking her head and standing up, swinging her borrowed bag of medicines over her shoulder. Kossetsu would be just fine, especially if Seiko would whip him into shape if he tried to move too much.

But...rest of the rabble? Run off where? "Seiko-san, run off with who to where?"

The laughter died down a moment later, and she sobered slightly, the couple looking wide eyed at the question. "The other men from our village," she explained after a moment. "There's been some talk last night and this morning, that if the miko-sama went to put the bones of the youkai to rest, then perhaps some of them would be of help to remove the remains. Kossetsu wanted to go off with them, broken leg and all."

"It's not as severe as you make it sound..." he insisted.

"Ha! I doubt that," Seiko scolded. "Two miko, your wife, and your brother have all told you to stay put, and you still want to go running off to do dangerous and heavy lifting. Baka."

"Seiko-san is right," Kagome backed, looking down at him sprawled on the pallet. "You'll need to keep the leg still for several weeks or the fracture won't heal properly. You'll limp or have other problems. So stick with the peg leg for awhile, okay? We'll just call you gimpy," she winked.

He grunted unhappily, earning a sigh from Seiko. "Thank you, Kagome-sama."

"I'll stop by again tomorrow to check up. Kikyou should be back in a day or two as well, assuming everything is going all right out there."

"Until tomorrow then, miko-sama," Seiko bowed as Kagome ducked out the front and into the warm afternoon sunlight.

She sighed, taking a breath of the clear air. One thing that always remained so starkly different, despite its smallness, was the cleanliness of the air, scented with food from cookfires and of the forest and the crops. The sengoku jidai was as beautiful as it was dangerous, and it owned both in spades. During the day, she kept herself busy, tending to what she could, amazed at the amounts of knowledge she had managed to pick up from listening to Kaede, or watching Sango or Miroku patch another member of the group up. Field dressings and herbs with with their pungent smells, astringent and unlike a hospital's crisp chemical scent. Beautiful and violent and lonely.

Kagome shook herself. Work. Keep busy, keep moving. There was lots to do, an endless cycle interrupted only by a quick lunch of rice balls, brought by a thoughtful Chikara before Kaede took off for the cave. That was better than two hours ago, now. Kagome had deliberated between allowing the younger girl to go help him. Partly because she wanted to keep Kaede away from him, to protect her. Not necessarily physically, but perhaps mentally. Who knew what Onigumo would say to her? Naraku was certainly twisted enough. Though he was still unconscious, so if he slept through the changing of his bandages the situation wasn't as bad. Kaede was eager to see the battered man in the cave, mostly out of sheer childlike curiosity. Going once may cure her of that.

She admitted, reluctantly, that part of her reasoning of letting her go was simply that Kagome herself was not sure if she could handle helping someone she'd been trying to help kill for several months. Onigumo was her enemy. The enemy of everyone she knew and cared for. Alone in the cave with him, she could easily kill him, avenge everything before it happened. It was tempting, very tempting. She wouldn't forgive him for the actions he was going to make. Never. The world was a far better place without him.

And if she did kill him? Then her world- her sengoku jidai- and her place in it would not come to pass. The thought of helping him to survive long enough to become Naraku was purely sickening, turning her stomach. That would be _helping_ him kill Kikyou, _helping _him pin Inuyasha to the Goshinboku, _helping _him curse Miroku-sama and his family, and _helping_ him kill all the people that he or his detachments had come in contact with for over the next fifty years.

That blood would be on her hands then as well.

Was their future a fair sacrifice for hers?

"Kagome-sama..." a low voice sounded from behind her, and she turned, seeing a very peeved looking Kaede walking wrathfully forward. "That Onigumo is...is...ugh!" she spluttered, seeming at a temporary loss of words.

Several thoughts clicked in Kagome's head at once. First, Kaede knew Onigumo's name. Second, that meant he had awakened. Three, he had spoken to her, obviously of something Kaede didn't like. Which meant it was probably her Kikyou-oneesama. So fast. It was beginning so fast.

"He's awakened then?"

"Heh," she snorted, folding her arms and glowering at nothing in particular. "He's creepy. You're probably right, he probably was a bandit."

Concernedly, Kagome frowned down at Kaede as she looked around for a street that she had not yet traversed in her medical rounds. "What did he say?"

The scowl grew deeper on her face as Kaede fell into slow step with Kagome. "First he woke up. I thought that was great at first because he could talk. Figures. He wanted to know who I was so I told him and then he wanted to know where Kikyou-oneesama was, and why I was here instead. So I told him, nothing weird there, and he told me his name and that some bad men attacked him for his money or something and threw him down there."

Still curious, Kagome prompted her a little more, knowing that contradicted what she did know of Onigumo's past. "That doesn't sound so bad yet. What makes you think...Onigumo...is so creepy?"

Kaede gave her a bizarre look. "You're the one who was creeped out by him when you and onee-sama found him. Sheesh," she shrugged, looking disgusted, and Kagome assumed most of that was simply from exposure to Onigumo. "He kept asking about onee-sama. A lot. Where she was, what she was doing, why, that kind of stuff, even after I told him. Just..things. I don't like him and I hope Kikyou-oneesama gets back soon so she knows about him too."

Quietly, Kagome turned down the street leading to Chikara's hut, since she had not yet traversed that particular street. She'd do a round there. Still, all this helping of people...she didn't know who they all were, on a personal level. For all she knew, their children or grandchildren were the bandits of her sengoku jidai heyday. She placed one foot before the other, lightly passing over the dirt lane. "Do you think Kikyou would tell you that we should stop taking care of him just because he was asking about her?"

Kaede struggled with that concept a moment. Care for someone despite of who they were? Was everyone entitled to care, despite who or what they were? Glumly, she sighed. "Probably not...it's not right to just leave him there to rot."

Tilting her head back, Kagome looked up to the cloudless sky, her hair streaming cooly down her back as she considered Kaede's response. No, she supposed she couldn't leave Onigumo in the cave to rot, as much as she wanted to. Knowing what he was. Still, it was Onigumo. It was Naraku, in what was likely only a short time from now.

"He still creeps me out," Kaede continued, oblivious to the thoughts running through Kagome's head. She glanced up at the thoughtful expression on the older girl's face. "Will you go to the cave tomorrow instead of me? I know I said I would, but..." she shuddered uncomfortably. "I don't want to go alone there anymore."

She could see Kagome tensing up at the prospect. Her voice was tight and thin when she replied a moment later, "I guess I should..."

"Thanks," sighed Kaede, feeling relieved. She'd definitely have to tell onee-sama about this guy, though. She was sure that her sister wouldn't leave him there, but she couldn't help but feel a guilty twinge of relief that he wouldn't last very long cooped up in that cave. Something about that place just felt too eerie. Foreboding and dark. Evil.

Then, suddenly, in the middle of the street, Kagome stopped, looking around. "Kaede-chan, do you see anything?" A puzzled frown was marring Kagome's features as she glanced up and down the street. Kaede joined her in her search, seeing only the usual people moving around, though this particular area had fewer people out at that particular moment. She tried to concentrate. There was something there, subtle, barely perceptible, now that she tried to find it. Some source of jaki, faint and small. "A minor-"

"Let's keep walking, Kaede-chan," Kagome interrupted, just slightly too brightly. Was she wrong? No, the smile on Kagome's face was a little too fake. There was something there. Edging a bit closer to the miko, she kept up as Kagome moved steadily down the street, heading straight for Chikara-obaasan's.

The feeling of youki slithered on the fringes of Kagome's senses, oozing into her mind like a serpent about to strike. She didn't like it. So small, so well concealed- so close. She forcibly kept a hand from slipping to her throat to check on the small ball of the Shikon no Tama, ever so lightly clinking against the empty glass bottle around her neck. Her first test then. She had half hoped it wouldn't come so soon. What was it? What was watching? Something small, or able to hide itself...or both. Her palms itched to hold a bow in them. She could protect herself. She could. And Kaede. And the village. She was a miko too, wasn't she? Yes.

Chikara-obaasan had a quiver and a bow in her house. They were plain in her memory, resting against the wall when she'd been searching for something to eat for Shinju the day before. They had to be in the same place. They just had to. She needed her weapon. It was close. Curious. It knew something was happening, though she hoped it did not yet know just what. If it struck before she was armed, she'd be in trouble. Why hadn't she armed herself first thing this morning? That was unbelievably careless of her. She should have known better. But the village had always been a safe haven for them, somewhere that was not attacked, that was protected.

But that was fifty years from now, when the villagers, lacking Kikyou to defend them, had obviously been forced to learn to defend themselves, with the aid of a growing miko named Kaede.

Cursing her habitual comfort in the familiar area, she stopped. "I'm going to grab something real quick. Be right back. Wait here, okay?"

A gruff nod was her reply, and Kaede casually leaned up against the outer wall of the house, eyes scanning around from under dark bangs warily. Kagome tried not to smile. Sometimes she could see flashes of Kaede-_obaa_chan in Kaede-_chan_. Still, it seemed surreal to see the elderly miko as a child. She ducked quickly inside, seeking the arrows.

They rested against the far wall as they had before, and a puzzled Chikara looked up from her brazier, startled to see Kagome suddenly slip into the room on silent feet, looking worried.

"Kagome-sama?" she began to stand, only to be waved urgently down and back by Kagome, who snatched up the arrows.

"Stay here. I need these, all right?"

A startled nod, and Kagome was back out the door, aware that Chikara was on her feet and probably heading for a window to see what was happening.

Stepping back out, an arrow slowly being drawn to the string, Kagome scanned the empty space of the street before her, slightly darkened by the narrow, stretching shadows of the houses. The jaki grew stronger, now that her weapon was in plain view, gathering itself for offense or defense, depending on who would strike first. It grew nearer, stronger, still low, still invisible.

Kaede began to press further up against the outer wall of Chikara's house, the presence becoming strong enough to menace her senses as well, eyes darting from Kagome to the ground, then to Kagome again, who had the most consternated expression on her features, brows drawn so tightly down, lips thin and expression serious. For a moment, Kaede relaxed, the older girl's face so like her trusted sister's that she trusted her the same way, though needed to remind herself that Kagome was untested. The similarity was so startling though, here, about to fight. Why? Kagome was not related to them, she was not a family member, she was not her sister. Who was she?

A snake. It could only be a snake, that slithering, coiling feeling of a serpent about to strike. But Kagome could not see it, and if she couldn't see it she couldn't tell where to shoot. The quiver was despairingly empty, the two remaining arrows shifting hollowly inside the leather case, echoing. There had to be a way to make it visible. If it was concealing itself, then there had to be a way to reveal it. It was low to the ground, so...flicking the bow upward and pulling the arrow back, the stiff white fletching brushing her cheek lightly, she shot the earth.

The arrow impaled the dusty street, lilac light puddling around like a blossom exploding, spreading outward brightly and illuminating the narrow shadows with a softly sparkling sheen. Then, off to the side of the street, a wriggling, armlength viper began to writhe, thrashing wildly as the light swallowed the ground beneath it, purifying the very land it slithered on and making it poisonous to its scaled underbelly. Reeling, the light continued to prickle up around it, and a steady, violent hissing issued from its forked tongue.

Moving forward quickly, before the creature could throw itself out of the way of her arrow's space, Kagome nocked another of the bolts to her string, drawing back. She would hit this terrible creature and kill it. _She_ was the miko here, _she_ was the one defending everyone, and without her, this almost ridiculously small monster could bite and kill someone. She sure as hell was not having that on her hands as well. It would die.

The second arrow flew, a clean, focused shot that stabbed it into the ground, the purifying arrow sparking for only an instant before its job was done, jutting out from the earth, the steaming snake spasming one last time before lying still, and turning to mere ashes and bones.

Hurrying over, she looked down at the dead thing, lying there in a contorted position, the thing's long spine knotted in on itself and arched backward sickeningly. Dead. She had done it. By herself. Not that it was that big, but that was the point. She had hit it. A small, nasty little target that had been moving. She had actually hit it. The feeling made her slightly giddy for a moment, happy that she, Higurashi Kagome, had managed to kill the youkai by herself.

Perhaps that was why, in that instant, she felt the source of jaki weaken, but not disappear, instead fading slightly like a wilted flower, bowing low and out of sight. And, since no other miko of her caliber were around to notice the movement of the source, or any keen eyed villagers to see puffs of dust slither off towards the forest, the rushing presence of a second youkai went entirely unnoticed in the moment of triumph.

Kaede edged up behind Kagome, and there was a rustling of bamboo drapery as Chikara peered out from her doorway. Eyeing the rope of ribs, Kaede tentatively bent down and pulled the arrow out of the body. "Well, it's dead," she declared, stating what was obvious, since it seemed like someone just needed to say it. "Should we wrap it up and take it to the well?"

A strange expression crossed Kagome's face. The well she jumped down, to go between times. She didn't usually think of it as a repository for dead youkai. It was a temporal warp, not a grave. "I guess," she managed, half turning to see Chikara emerge. "Do you have anything to wrap this up in? An old blanket or something?"

She nodded her graying head slowly. "I've got one. What was it?"

"Snake," Kaede spat, stepping away but extending her hand to Kagome, the arrow in it. "Really little though. I wonder what it thought it was doing in the village. It's way too small to even stand a chance of getting to...Kagome-sama," she finished, cutting her eyes upward at Kagome, fully aware of what precious gem was around the girl's throat.

"Whatever it was, it's dead now," Kagome sighed, accepting the proffered arrow from Kaede's hands and turning to Chikara. "Thanks, for the arrows."

"You're welcome. Do you have any more up at the shrine? My husband hasn't used them in awhile, you can continue with them if you like."

"I'm not sure..." Kagome trailed, only to be interrupted by Kaede tugging on her long sleeve. She looked into the girl's upturned face.

"We've got both, in case something happened to onee-sama's, though we'll have to dig them out. Onee-sama keeps her bow in good condition. So one would be dusty, but it should be fine."

"That'd be great, Kaede-chan. Thanks again, Chikara-obaasan," Kagome repeated, handing back the quiver and bow, quickly moving to pluck the first arrow out of the ground and rejoin it with the other two.

"Of course. Glad to know my husband's sloppy habits were useful," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "He needs to learn to put things away, not just me. Ah well," she shrugged. "I'll get you that blanket."

As Chikara moved back into her house, Kagome ran a hand through her hair, then let her fingers rest lightly on the lump under her clothing, reassuring herself that the Shikon no Tama was indeed safe, and no ghost had snatched it from her neck when she wasn't looking. It was strange though. As Kaede said, it was unlikely to be able to get the tama from her...it was too small. It could bite her, true. But somehow, that just wasn't the feeling she got...it was watching, observing. It was meant to be unnoticed, not to steal. It could have just been hunting for a meal, but it was still a youkai and this was not a normal village. Something was up. She just didn't know what. There were still youkai roaming around, unkilled, from the battle the few days prior. But the leaders were either dead or presumably leagues from here. Right?

She bit her lip, fingers splaying over the ball of the tama. If there was still a taiyoukai in the area, she wanted those arrows. And she wanted them now.

"Kaede-chan, as soon as we're done getting this to the well, I want to get those arrows."

There was a slight tone of tension in her voice, enough to worry Kaede, because it sounded like Kagome was worried. Though getting the arrows right away made perfect sense. Whatever it was, she was sure Kagome-sama could handle it.

Firmly, she nodded. "Sure. We can get them right away."

That day set in a deep crimson blush, and the next dawned with bright golds, sprightly colors that would have buoyed Kagome's spirits usually, but today was the day she told Kaede she would go to the cave and help out with the burned form of Onigumo. Even Kagome couldn't help but look forward to the situation with intense reluctance, wanting more to run away than to walk to the cave. She had to remember not to smother the bastard. Or was she supposed to smother him? Or should she just shoot him? She had a full size bow now, the slender length of it nearly as tall as she, and a full quiver of arrows to compliment her bag of healing herbs, thankfully marked and measured already. Kikyou was a meticulous organizer.

The bag of medicines was bulky, lopsided items clinking together towards the bottom, wooden bowl occasionally causing a muffled clunking against the other bags and the container of mashed vegetables and strained fish broth that were wrapped up inside, meant to be the late morning brunch of Onigumo. Kagome tried not to think about it anymore; she'd have to deal with him for at least an hour while she fed him and patched him up. The sheer concept of having to do that gave her the most icy chill down her spine, making her want to curl up into a little ball and leave. If she did that, he would die. And if he died, she would never see her friends again. Never see her Inuyasha again. Though if she did not...the end result, regardless of what it was, seemed equally despicable. Take a side with Naraku, or obliterate her own future. Her choice. Should she flip a coin and leave it to fickle fate?

Her hand gripped the bow tightly as she started off from the town. Most of the morning had been spent in the new little routine she had set the day before. Go into town, meet Chikara, make sure nothing disastrous had happened overnight, politely accept an onigiri to break her nightly fast, and start out towards the far end of the village to work her way back, this time with Kaede tagging along. She procrastinated awhile before deciding to leave, but knew if she didn't soon, then her reluctance would seem oddly suspicious, though there was certainly no way for anyone to guess why she dragged her feet so heavily on her way from the village.

The golden morning grew into a lightly clouded day that occasionally sent shadows dancing across the land, allowing it to be both bright and dim at once, all chased by a cool breeze from the west. The forest thinned, and again Kagome found herself at the path to the cave, worn and with weeds bent under the few sandaled feet that had passed over them. She took a deep breath, reassuring herself stubbornly that she could handle this. However bad it was going to be. She was a miko now, and she had a job to do. The bow in her hand was brought tightly to her side, as though it could save her from a youkai preying on her mind.

Her other hand strayed to the cancerous lump of the Shikon no Tama under her clothes.

Slowly, she stepped into the cool gloom of the cave, a few shades of darkness sputtering around its uneven edges. At the center of this little mouth of the earth, a guttering candle glowed in its pool of wax, giving off a slightly sickly sweet scent in its smoke.

Onigumo lay still upon his pallet, now wrapped in white linen strips of cloth for bandages. Trapped within the bindings, only one of his eyes could be seen, closed and near transparent, lashless and slowly cracking open at the soft sound of steps in his private corner of the darkness. In the depths cast by the tiny flame by his side, he could see only a silhouette form, an outline illuminated by the faint yellow daylight from outside the cave. There were few who would come here; it was not the small one from yesterday, and she wore the clothes a miko, bearing a bag and a bow.

A voice that should have slipped along senses like silk issued from his parched lips, instead broken by the fire that had consumed him. "And who is it that comes visiting today?"

The person stiffened abruptly, halting in her motion and then willing herself forward. "My name is Kagome. I was...told...you woke up yesterday. Onigumo."

His face swelled into a minute smile, the bruises stretching the bandages from within. So easily rattled, this one was. "The little one told..." his voice broke off, choking for a moment as saliva welled up in his mouth. A moment later, his throat cleared it, and he wheezed. This Kagome had not moved to help him, or even to glance at him. In the darkness, she was completely still. A miko who did not give succor the misfortunate? The poor and injured and burned? Hoh, what an interesting concept. How pure and sweet could such a person be? Though if he wished to live- and wish he did- then perhaps provoking her would be a different matter than unsettling the little one, or watching the beautiful and sad miko who had not appeared to him for the last two days. She may not hesitate to leave him, if she believed him to be some evil bandit.

"Forgive me," he apologized, closing his visible eye and then straining to reopen it. The darkness was so inviting, he was wishing more and more to stay. "I can't breathe very well."

"I know," came the curt reply, tension coiled through the two short words. "You shouldn't strain yourself," she added, liking the idea. Maybe if he didn't talk, she could get through this nightmare. "Maybe you shouldn't talk."

His cracked voice sounded again, a scratchy whisper. "Ah, maybe you're right..."

Thank goodness. Quiet, quiet, blessed quiet, quiet and dark and lit by just the little candleflame without a paper hurricane to guide the light towards her. Kagome knelt and set aside her bow and quiver, pulling the bag of herbs from off her shoulder, then began pulling the items out in the silence, breaking the tomblike stillness with the soft clatter of pottery or wood on cold stone, lent echoes by the hollowness of the cave. She poured the fish broth into the bowl first, still steaming slightly in the cool air and warming her hands as the sparkling liquid passed into the wooden bowl from the clay jar she had placed it in.

"Smells good..."

"I thought you weren't going to talk," Kagome reminded, half panicked, the words slipping from her lips faster than she could think of them. He needed to be quiet, she had to get through this, had to feed him and fix the bandages and get the hell out of this hole and run in the clear air and just spend a moment forgetting what she was doing. "You'll make it worse."

"My voice is little. It will get little worse."

She drew down her brows and concentrated on opening the vegetable mush and turning it around with a spoon. Just ignore Onigumo. Forget about him. He's just anyone else. Ignore him. Ignore him. Think of something else. Think of...of math class. That's a lot less scary than Onigumo, and that's saying an awful lot. What had they been studying before? Geometry? Triangles? Right and obtuse and...and...something else? What was it again? Dammit. She cursed her situation again, trying not to pulverize one of the little leather bags tied to their string, labeled by their ingredients. She had already strained willow bark into the broth; it probably made it taste nasty, but oh well. It wasn't vindictive, really it wasn't. She repressed a shudder.

"Are you well, Kagome-sama?" came the question quietly, and she cut her eyes to see his looking at her from where he lay, head barely turned, muscles too damaged to turn it to the right angle. "You seem so worried."

A lock of hair fell from her shoulder to curtain away the side of her face and the strained look that was formed there. He was not being caring. Onigumo was a manipulative bastard, and he deserved to die. She had medicines here. Enough of the right one and she could poison him...let him drink a cup of that and end this. Her hands were trembling, and she tried to make them stop without taking deep breaths and alerting Naraku...Onigumo..._him_...to her nervousness. "I'm unused to being so unsupervised," she admitted as an excuse, trying to sound cheerful. "I'm still rather new at this, you're one of my first patients, especially one so badly wounded. Here, it's just broth," she finished, trying desperately not to clench her teeth. Holding the wooden bowl in one hand, she realized that he certainly was not going to sit up and take it from her.

Inuyasha on one of his worst days would have been proud of the string of obscenities that ran through her head. She had to feed him. Why hadn't she thought of that before? Care equaled feeding him and changing his bandages. Touching him. Contact. Disgusting and helpless and in that case not lying. He couldn't move wrapped like some undead mummy.

Naraku's smiling red eyes watched her from the back of her mind as she tried to concentrate on just getting the bowl to his lips, tilting his head upward with a hand and trying not to feel too revolted at the uneven texture underneath the wrappings. His skin was melted, shifting, though it was still soft enough as tissue, yielding though firm. It was settling into scars, and she could see humps of redness through the few narrow strips of skin beneath the more loose bandages. A moment of pity arose in her, but was instantly crushed by the sound of his greed draining the bowl with an unrefined slurp. "Ah, thank you."

She resisted to urge to drop his head on the stone floor. "You're welcome. I've also got some vegetables. Then I'll check your bandages."

So stiff, so formal! She was moving like a machine through the motions of care, trying not to look at him, not to meet his single visible eye. Did she find him so revolting to see? Surely a miko had seen as bad or even worse after a human was mauled by a youkai. Then why the unnatural disgust? So far, he had given little reason to her to loathe him so. Unless she knew him, but he was certain he had never seen a miko such as her before in his life. It was intriguing, and he watched her dig for chopsticks in her bag, downcastly triumphant a moment later when she produced them for the mash of food he was about to eat. How to get her to speak? To tell him why she seemed so hurt or angry while she sat there and tried to conduct her business as a miko.

"You are too kind, Kagome-sama. Though if you are so nervous, perhaps you should consider the methods of your elder miko...ah, what was her name? Kikyou...yes, Kikyou..." he murmured, watching her avidly and was rewarded instantly when her entire frame stiffened in the darkness and she shot him a furious look, quickly masked as she fought for composure. Who then was Kikyou to her? That angry expression denoted hatred, or at least dislike or even jealousy. How much could be seen from the cold subterranean floor of a cave so far from the world. "Ah, I'm sorry, how thoughtless of me to compare her to you, Kagome-sama."

A snort from the girl, and she began to sharply stir the vegetables with the chopsticks in hand. "It's nothing. We look alike, that's all."

Look? Appearance? Yes, he supposed they did seem similar, though that was hardly what he meant...what was he missing? What here was still unsaid, here in the looming silence? There was power in words, and power in words unsaid. There was a quality of resentment lingering over this one. "It is so? My eye is so bad, I could not see it..." His next words were cut off by her placing a chunk of food to his mouth, silencing him, the clay pot of vegetables at Kagome's side and his head lifted again with her hand, straining his neck and beginning to hurt it.

Obediently, he ate, chewing as best he could and barely swallowing before another mouthful was presented to him. His head hurt, beginning to spin. She, like Kikyou when she had first leaned over him to inspect his wounds, was cast into a mass of shadows by the candle, illuminated by the dim light and accenting the beautiful darkness of her face. How wonderful it would be, to possess that kind of black beauty, hinged with fire. And here, as a dying cripple, he could never possess it. Somewhere, near here, existed the Shikon no Tama, that could give such power. But with this body, he could never claim it. No, this body was corrupt and vile. There was no healing for him. Though in their magical world, there was always a way...lying and being fed by this resentful priestess, he would have much time to consider it. There was always, always a way.

He swallowed and slept, food no longer accepted when Kagome pressed it upon him. For the first time during her time spent there, she looked him in the face, seeing one eye closed and shaking, already manipulated by some dream, breath scraping into and from his open mouth. Sleep, wonderful sleep. She edged away, setting his head down and turning aside to scoot away from him, breathing deeply. The air was rank with the sweet candle smell, and of herbs. They seemed more foul than anything she cared to be in, and scrambled away from the prone figure, his breath unnaturally loud to her ears as she climbed back out of the cave and into the light.

The nearest tree offered support. She clung to it, gripping the bark hard enough to crush it in her hands and tear it from the tree. She had helped him, listened to him speak. And she still had to return to the cave, even if only for a short time, to collect her things. Technically, she should also fix the bandages, though they seemed well enough...Kaede was good at that in her time, she apparently was in this time as well, even lacking the decades of practice.

Her stomach heaved, but she kept down her breakfast, despite feeling acid rise in her throat and sting. Home...she wanted to go home! This wasn't fair...it wasn't fair and she hated this place, this time, this duty, this life. She was supposed to be with her friends, her family, her loved ones. Without them, how alone she was...it wasn't fair. She wanted them back. They were hers to be with, hers to love and be a part of. Though if she did...if she did claim them again for her own, then she would have to march back into that cave with a smile on her face and continue this charade of her being some traveling miko from some nonexistent city called Tokyo that hadn't been created yet.

She would be acting just as Kikyou would, doing the correct thing, even if it made her ache for her friends. But Kikyou defied it all...fell in love, wanted to leave it...with Inuyasha. Her Inuyasha. _Their_ Inuyasha. Leave the loneliness, just like she did right now. Her loneliness was sharp and new and compiled into a gut wrenching few days. Kikyou's was dull and long lasting, dragged out and constant.

In that one way, at least, they were alike. Both wanted, more than anything, when alone, to run.

* * *

Hum, you know this fic is mostly dark, so I'm occasionally trying to lighten things just a smidge...hence the teasing personalities of the couple in the beginning of the chapter. Hope that alleviates it somewhat...^^;

I also had an interesting time with the temporal aspects in the fic...I don't think it's ever actually said how long Onigumo was stuck in the cave, or how long Kikyou was taking care of him. With severe burns like that, and in the sengoku jidai without life support, modern medicine, etc...I doubt he'd last long. But there also had to be enough time for Kikyou to repetitively come meet him...so. This is my estimate. By sending Kikyou away, I also had to put Kagome in the position to meet the injured Onigumo.

The youkai battle served in a couple functions. For starters, I wondered why Onigumo/Naraku had a spider shaped scar...concidence or not? Turns out that in the mostly filler episode 87, you can see a spider scar _already_ on Onigumo's back. So I guess it wasn't a product of the burning, according to the anime. Also, I wasn't sure if there would be many youkai in the local vicinity (due to the Shikon no Tama) or few (due to Kikyou persistently chasing them off). A battle solved both situations. And apparently made pointless my concern over the scar. Ep. 87 also shows that Onigumo was burned away from the cave and tossed there. Since it added some backstory that seemed to make fine sense (as opposed to a giant rampaging hairball in an earlier filler episode...-_-;) I decided to use that explanation. Besides, it's anime canon, at least.

Til next chapter, _'Tumbling Down'_  
~Queen


	8. Tumbling dowN

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_I wish that I could turn back time_  
_cos now the guilt is all mine_  
_can't live without the trust from the ones you love._  
_I know we can't forget the past_  
_you can't forget love and pride_  
_because of that it's killing me inside._

_-Komm Stusser Todd, The End of Evangelion_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 7- Tumbling dowN

The light shuffling sound of feet barely perturbed the quiet of the evening, now settling from its daily glow into a star spangled nightfall, a knife edge of blood red heaven still severing the land from the sky. After a moment, there was a childish laugh.

"So there are stories about people who look like that?" Kaede was covering her mouth, trying to smother the giggles over the concept of what Kagome had just described to her. Kagome, for her part, had a bemused smile, glad to be making light of the situation- it took away some fear- but there was still a sense of gravity about it. Either way, she was glad Kaede found it funny, and she was a bit contagious.

"The pyramids are far from here though...the...ah, plays...are old, but they usually involve some curse on the body, and then some explorers find it...and then the mummy comes alive and wants to eat their brains or some weird thing, and chases the heroes around and acts scary."

"That doesn't _sound _too scary," Kaede commented, trying not to laugh too hard. It made that creepy Onigumo guy a little less...creepy...to think of him as some deranged dead guy in bandages. "At least he's not _actually_ dead on top of it. Probably would make a funny story, but in reality?" She shuddered, wrinkling her nose and trying to think of some undead person wandering around and trying to survive with their soul already in the otherworld. "That would be wrong...and sad." After a moment, she realized Kagome was not about to reply, and glanced upward at her companion, seeing her expression tighten again, lips pressed thin and gentle eyes hard. She kept doing that, and it made Kaede curious as to why. One moment joking, the next reminded of who knew what, making her tense and anxious. "Kagome-sama? Are you all right?"

She blinked, coming out of some reverie, and smiled politely down at Kaede as they reached the steps leading up to the courtyard of the jinja. Sad and wrong, yes, she supposed being undead was sad and wrong...to be woken from an eternal sleep that should never be interrupted. Though to share those thoughts with the current form of Kaede would mostly likely seem disturbing. There were times Kagome knew the girl was watching her, with the sight that would eventually become that of the grandmotherly woman she knew from her sengoku jidai. Kaede, even as a child, was shrewd and thoughtful. Still, there was no way for the girl to guess who or what or when Kagome was from. She was safe there, so long as she never had a confidante.

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied, looking a bit sheepish for staring off into space. "Sorry."

Kaede shrugged, yawning and stretching her arms as she placed a hand on the railing. "You looked far away." What could she be worried about? Kagome'd been there a few days now, and they got along well. The look was worried, but not angry or particularly determined, so it may not be concern for taking over the tama, though that was entirely possible. She tried another tactic. "Thinking of home?"

Her question was rewarded with a deep sigh, affirming her half suspicion. "Not exactly, but...this place does remind me of my home," she admitted, eyes casting around in the softly sunset darkness, then to the leafy, shadowy figure of the Goshinboku. Her foot stilled on the first step of the stairs. "It's larger at home..." Of course, that made sense. Another five hundred years of growth would do that to a tree. But it was the same tree. Younger, unscarred with an arrow and the fifty year sleep of a half youkai pinned to its trunk. "Kaede-chan, why don't you head up? I'm going to stay here for a minute."

A soft smile was on the girl's face. Kagome hadn't exactly cheered up when looking at the tree, but she seemed happier somehow, somewhat wistful and nostalgic. If thinking of her home made her feel better, and the old tree helped that, then she was all for it. Kagome was too nice to be sad all the time. It was too much like onee-sama. It didn't seem like her usual character. "Sure. I'll get your futon out for you." Another yawn overtook her. "It's late, and more getting up early tomorrow. I thought onee-sama would be home by now, but maybe she'll get here in the morning."

"That's possible," Kagome agreed as Kaede began to head up the steps. "And thanks. Oyasumi nasai."

Kaede waved back and darted up the steps, calling back, "Oyasumi, Kagome-sama! See you in the morning!" Kagome waved back for a moment until Kaede was well on her way, back turned and leaping the steps two at a time, just for fun. It was so strange seeing her as spry as that. Not that Kaede-obaachan was particularly slow for her age, but in comparison to her youth...with a light chuckle, Kagome set her bow down and laid it against the railing, swinging her quiver over her shoulder to keep it company for awhile. The empty little clearing of hard packed dirt was smooth to her sandaled feet, occasionally feeling a sharp stone through one of her soles.

The thick foliage of the tree rustled in the light wind, and Kagome placed a hand on the rough bark, feeling it scratch at her skin. Lying against this for years would have to be annoying and painful, with little bits of wood constantly pressing into your back. Of course, Inuyasha's haori was thick and strong...perhaps it wouldn't be that bad. She blinked. Inuyasha?

Slowly, she tilted her head upwards to look into the spidery arms of the tree, the leaves lush enough to camouflage even bright colors. Like red. A frown quirked her lips. No, she was sure now, not having been paying attention. Kagome was very accustomed to the usual, constant presence of Inuyasha's hanyou youki. It wasn't a threat to her, and so she brushed its proximity aside. Her frown deepened, and she quirked an eyebrow. Was she just imagining things?

"Inuyasha, are you up there?"

Silence.

"If you are, please come down."

There was a little more silence, a rustle. Then, "You're that other one."

Her curiously puzzled expression grew instantly annoyed. "I told you what my name was."

He dropped down a branch or two, eyeing her doubtfully from above. "I don't remember telling you mine."

"Eh..." Kagome stuttered, backing away from the tree and hoping to find a way to avoid answering the question. He definitely would not believe the truth. Yes, Inuyasha, I'm from five hundred years in the future...or fifty, depending on how you look at it. I'm the reincarnation of a person who's still alive. How's that possible? Well, I just said I was from the future. Obviously. "You've been around here awhile, so I guess you've gotten famous." Or infamous. She wasn't sure the general consensus in the area. Probably the latter, if anyone knew who he was. Kaede-chan didn't seem to, not really. His reaction was to lift an eyebrow, sizing her up again. Then he stiffened as his gaze reached her neck.

"_You_ have it! What do _you _have _it _for!" Dropping to the ground, Kagome suddenly found her breath snatched away as a claw encircled her neck and she was being stared down by a fully furious Inuyasha, hearing his free hand cracking in readiness to strike.

Her hands jerked upward automatically, grabbing at his wrist as though that would hold him still, and keep from choking her. She could feel the sharpness of his nails pressing into her skin, but not breaking. The Shikon no Tama. The solid round lump of it was gracing her neck, tucked away just under the white fabric of her miko robes. Inuyasha, this was Inuyasha, he wouldn't hurt her...but it wasn't her Inuyasha. The rules were different here. These days were not the days to come. What was he thinking? That she had taken it? That Kikyou had left him? That Kikyou was dead and Kagome was the replacement? That he now could take it, and easily? That this was his chance? Had he yet chosen to become human, or did he still desire to become full youkai? That, she could not allow. Without Tessaiga, he would be beyond control as a full blooded inuyoukai. His grip tightened at her continued quiet.

"Answer!"

Startled eyes met his, pained. "You're hurting me."

Though he had been still before, he felt his blood freeze. There was no venom in her words, no anger, no fury, no fear, no terror. There was surprise. Genuine, honest, clear surprise, written so cleanly in her expressive eyes, so wide with the unwritten emotion that the anger and confusion at her possession of the tama suddenly faded into nothingness. That kind of reaction suggested trust, uninhibited trust, her surprise coming from a betrayal of that trust. But he didn't know her. Not beyond her name. Not beyond their brief meeting. There was no reason for either of them to trust the other. He should be suspicious of her, for looking and smelling so like Kikyou, for having the precious Shikon no Tama around her neck. She should be suspicious of him, a dangerous hanyou who could crush her throat in an instant if he wanted to.

Some impulse in his mind urged him to apologize, to redeem himself and regain that trust from her, so undeserved and unexpected. Suddenly frightened of that feeling, he jerked away, growling instead, leaving her to lift a hand to her throat and rub her skin where he had touched it. The tama was hard, and she could feel it pulsating beneath the thin protection of her clothing. If he took it from her now, then everything meant nothing. Her preoccupation with what to do about Onigumo, her concern for guarding the tama entirely alone. This was not her Inuyasha. He might do that. No subduing spells, no trust, no blooming affection.

Fear, distrust, suspicion. That was all he would feel towards Higurashi Kagome in this time.

He was glaring at her reproachfully, and she guessed he was beginning to regret releasing her, despite what she knew was his better judgment. This may not be her Inuyasha, but he was in there...somewhere. "Kikyou was called away for awhile." Her voice was rough. "An emergency. There was a battle between youkai not too far from here." Meeting his eyes, he seemed to be following her so far. He surely had been able to smell the blood on the wind, and had suspect something was happening. "There were people hurt, and many youkai were killed. She went to bury them properly, so their remains wouldn't call more to the village later."

"So she left _you_," his voice dripped with sarcasm, and she flinched. "To guard it? Ha!"

It was just Inuyasha being an arrogant jerk, she reminded herself. He did that still, in her time. Much less lately, but she remembered their early journeys. Gathering herself together again, she took a deep breath and shot back her most scathing glare, the kind that usually earned him a good hard osuwari. Just no osuwari this time. To her surprise and pleasure, he looked startled at her abrupt rally. She wasn't out of this argument yet. "If I thought you were any real danger, then I would have brought my arrows. But they're wasted on you, after all." Careful, girl, don't provoke him too much. She bluffed further, mingling it with truth. "I already blasted some ratty little snake today, and I think you'd be an easier target. You're lots bigger."

He snorted derisively. "Feh. Like you could even hit me."

Now that, _that_ was her usual Inuyasha! She couldn't help but smile, trying vainly to fight it away.

"What are you grinning about?"

"Eh..." she shook her head, trying not to answer again. "You just reminded me of someone for a second." She waved a hand in dismissal and laughed nervously. "No insult. Really."

He looked narrowly suspicious for a second, arms folded. Then he snorted again, and turned away, frowning. This was a good opportunity to take the tama. She was unarmed, she was vulnerable, she was not Kikyou. It would be easy. Within a few seconds, it would be in his hands, all he had to do was spring. And it would be his. That was all. He would be powerful, full blooded, and wouldn't need anyone or anything. But she was watching him, waiting for him to say something. And she was unarmed, she was vulnerable, and she was not Kikyou. It would be easy. All he had to do was spring. Rip it from her. Kill her.

She tilted her head to the side, expectantly. A few moments ago, he had a hand around her throat and was ready to crush it if she responded wrong. Again, there was that damnable expression of trust on her face. All that remained of that grip was her hand lightly resting on her collarbone, an absent, reassuring touch. For some insane reason, this Kagome girl honestly didn't believe that he'd hurt her. It was the same as their first meeting. It made no sense. Who the hell was she? It was confusing. He was sure he didn't know her. She wasn't Kikyou. There was no reason to trust her in return. No affinity was formed between them. No understanding.

And yet, it was there.

"Feh. You're lucky I don't feel like killing you right now. Others won't be so merciful." The warning sounded hollow to his ears, and he was sure it rang the same way to hers. Dammit. Before she could react, he sprang away, into the Goshinboku, and then deeper into the forest, running just to get away from that honest, kind face that was looking so forlornly after him.

Kagome squeezed shut her eyes for a moment, wishing for a moment that she could cry. Her throat constricted and her chest ached, a different kind of sickly reaction to the presence of someone she knew from her own sengoku jidai. One part of her mind reminded her to be glad she had not flung her arms around him at some point just to know he was real. And for a moment, he was her Inuyasha, the same argumentative baka that she knew and loved so much. It hurt...it physically hurt. Now he was running away from her, off into the forest, off in the direction that Kikyou had gone. Probably off chasing after her, now that he knew she was even remotely in danger. The more things change, the more they stay the same. She balled up her fits, then opened her eyes and expelled a great breath, stomping her foot on the ground. She'd made it this far. Burying herself in bitter memories that actually had happened would only make things worse. Forget about them, just for now. Just for the rest of the evening. Sleep. Tomorrow will start fresh, and...who knew what tomorrow would bring? A way home? Some hope for a solution to this insanity? Every fiber of her being screamed to go home, to Inuyasha and the others, or to Mama, Souta and Jii-chan. Though it also screamed not to let Naraku be born. His death was one of the twin purposes of her life: assemble the tama, kill Naraku.

Her hands were shaking; she tugged the collar of her gi up higher around her neck. If there were bruises, she didn't want them to be seen. That would require answers she wasn't ready to give. Breathing unevenly, she went back to the steps and retrieved her tall bow and the quiver of arrows, slinging them back around her shoulders while trying to keep a determined attitude as she climbed the steps.

There had to be a way home. There had to be a _purpose_ to all this. Why was she here? Just some random malfunction of the well? Did temporal anomalies even _have_ malfunctions? It was actually kind of annoying, putting it that way. Like some busted up computer system. Mou...this wasn't _Star Trek_ after all.

She stopped suddenly, blinking. Upon reaching the top of the steps, she found herself facing a hazy yellow wall, shifting with the rainbow colors of a soap bubble yet to be burst. So completely unexpected, it took a second for her to realize that there was a field now sailing upward over the empty courtyard of the jinja. Her eyes widened in shock. No, no, Naraku wasn't Naraku yet! He couldn't possibly have...no, Kikyou was away, he couldn't be here...besides, it took him time before he could make shields to defend and hide himself from detection. And that was fifty years from now, a newborn Naraku definitely couldn't do that! Then who or what was keeping her out? Wait. Kaede!

Banging her fists onto the event horizon of the dome, she began pounding and scratching her way along the outer edge, wishing there was some groove in the smoothness of the shell. There had to be a way in. No red Tessaiga to cut through. No _Tessaiga._ "Kaede! Kaede-chan, can you hear me? Kaede!" If the younger girl got in, then there had to be a way to get inside.

Flat handed, she smacked her palm against it, suddenly feeling it give way beneath her, the shield evaporating and letting her stumble forward onto the stone pavilion of the main walkway. She hadn't done anything to open it...so then, someone else did.

She looked up. If she had not, then she wouldn't have had time enough to spin aside, feeling the wind of a passing talon slice downward through the air she had vacated in the same instant.

A flood of youki nearly overwhelmed her, slipping slyly over her mind with almost dizzying speed, contained by the now diminished shield. Several species of minor youkai were hovering around the trees, and a large snake was twined around the usual shrine of the Shikon no Tama, currently empty. In one of the trees, movement caught her eye, and she saw a jerking bundle spinning around from a branch, a spider with legs the size of Kagome's arm dangling it. As it turned, she spotted a very angry face peeping from the top, fighting for her life.

"Kaede!"

Her movement forward earned her another swipe from the large talonlike thing that had nearly struck her earlier, slashing downward and nearly shaving off the front of Kagome's face, had she not jerked backward in time. Pebbles flew up at the force of the blow, leaving a small crater in the wake of the departing talon. The harsh motion sent Kagome flying backward in a hail of sliding arrows, pebbles and dust, off balance as she crashed to the hard ground in avoidance, a shock vibrating through her bones as pain rushed in.

A sharp cracking sounded, and Kagome gasped for air.

"My. How terribly rude not to acknowledge your opponent, miko-sama," a coy female voice chided, sounding from several lengths above Kagome, still twisted on the ground. Pulling herself upward, Kagome tilted up her face to see multiple sets of brown eyes peering down at her, two set humanly, the other six arching up over her forehead like some hideous crown, encircled by smooth, straight black hair. Human shoulders led to human arms, though from there the body of the youkai turned black, leading to the two sections of the spider's body, and six legs keeping the enormous weight uplifted, each leg armed at the end with a jagged knifelike protrusion, the dangerous sickle that nearly cut her in half. The voice, so human, nearly purred. "I'm surprised you haven't been awaiting me, Kikyou-sama. I've been so eager to meet you, now that I won that silly little battle."

Scars traced her sides. They were not completely covered by the fine, stiff black hairs that covered most of her body. There had been two, Kagome remembered, two, likely taiyoukai, that had met on the battlefield between the villages. It had not been an easy battle...her words were arrogance. But she was the one who lived and walked away. A few days to recuperate, heal. Then to here, to claim the spoil of her battle. The Shikon no Tama. Now held by Kagome.

"What? You may rise, fight if you like," the spider woman teased, hands folding up under her chin with mock politeness. "Oh, too bad? Did you fall and break yourself already?"

The shots of pain that stabbed Kagome at the fall were dulling. She moved. Her arms, her legs, trying to get to her feet. She succeeded with a crouch, hands groping for her fallen bow and scattered arrows. This was nothing. No, this wasn't that bad. She'd hit that silly snake, and now she'd hit this big spider. An arrow appeared in her hand. Then her bow, which was limp. Limp?

Her eyes jerked downward to see the broken shaft of her bow dangling between her fingers, splintered edges jutting outward like a shattered bone. A startled cry escaped her lips before she could silence it. The wood had broken. She had broken it with her own weight!

A slight sigh breezed through the air, and she returned her horrified gaze to the giant spider, who looked unnaturally disappointed. "Well, you're not broken, but your weapon is. Pity. I was looking forward to a fight over the tama, now that you've brought it, but I hardly think I shouldn't take advantage. I, Utagai, will be your opponent." A malicious smile formed on her human face, reflected in the multiple sets of eyes. "Though apparently not for long."

The bladed end of her leg whistled downward as her body was raised upward, far beyond Kagome's reach. With a bow, she could shoot into the creature's soft abdomen, but without it, there was no propulsion. She couldn't just throw it that hard. Panic jerked her fist back, and she stabbed upward and out with the slender arrow in her hand. The metal tip impacted onto a hard layer of chitinous exoskeleton, jointed armor to protect the softer body within. Still, the arrow was in Kagome's hand, and not without some sting of power.

Utagai's leg jerked upward, sizzling as she reared backward with a hiss. Taking the moment to run, Kagome bolted forward, rushing towards Kaede and using the sharp arrowhead to slice through the silk strands of the smaller spiders web, now trying to scuttle downward, fangs bared as Kagome frantically ripped the webbing off of Kaede, her face slowly buried while she dangled. Coughing and gasping for air, Kaede stumbled forward at Kagome's incessant tugging, attempting to get away from the minor youkai and the danger it presented behind them, as the angry taiyoukai before them began rearing up and backward.

The malicious expression of the giant spider was regressing into the emotionless fixture of a spider's head. The humanoid eyes had become obsidian, circular, her arms extending into a final set of legs, eight total. From her mouth formed the pinching fangs that spiders used to drain their prey, sharp and loaded with venom. A hiss that ended in a near squeal sounded, and the minor youkai hovering hesitated as their mistress selected the two girls before her as her victims, not to be touched by them. They were hers. Her transformation was complete.

Kaede was on her feet, grabbing at Kagome's long white sleeves as she stared up at the monstrous change occurring before her, the vapid youki now swirling almost visibly in the air. Her voice trembled. "Kagome-sama..."

Still a little girl, the Kaede of this era. Unarmed and facing a huge youkai. She was still a little girl. Little girls, children...they weren't supposed to be standing before creatures like this. Kagome's hand grew tight on the girl's shoulder. "Run to the village. Get any help you can. Go. Quickly!"

Too terrified to object, she broke into a dead run for the steps while Kagome painstakingly slipped a hand under the collar of her robe to withdraw the Shikon no Tama. The gleaming light of the jewel glittered across the faceted eyes of the youkai, turning her head to fixate on the object of her desire. The single, slender arrow in Kagome's hand seemed like little more than a willow wand, decorated with white fletching.

For a moment, she thought the distraction worked. The stiff neck and head that had begun following Kaede swiveled back to face Kagome, and the segmented legs inched forward as Utagai's body lowered for attack. Kagome still had no plan. But in that moment, one thing was clear- get Kaede away. Just that. Protect what you can.

Then Utagai's heavy body swung heavily, and the large half of her body arched, a stream of milky webbing sailing forward from her spinnerets like a lasso, snagging around Kaede's ankles and sending her smashing to the ground.

There was no expression on the arachnid's face, but Kagome could feel amusement radiating from her. She was playing. The child was not to leave. Barely stirring, her palms badly scraped from catching herself, Kaede was suddenly jerked backward and onto her face again as Utagai tugged her backward. It was a sick game. Kagome was suddenly reminded of her mother chiding her as a child not to play with her food.

It was just the two of them. Nobody else. No Sango with hiraikotsu. No Miroku with his kazaana or houkiri. No Inuyasha...no Inuyasha with his claws or sword. Inuyasha was running away now. Running in the opposite direction, towards the other village, following the smell of blood. Chasing the rumor of Kikyou. Running the opposite way of Kagome. Because Kagome had told him where to find her.

A sharp scream sounded from Kaede as she was jerked backward again, forcing Kagome to run forward and attempt to sever the line. "Kaede-chan, hold on!"

At the sound of Kagome's voice, Kaede twisted hopefully towards a possible rescue coming. She did see that, the intent expression on Kagome's face, the determination, the desperation. But Kaede saw more; she saw a large scythe of a spider leg shearing the air behind Kagome, silently crashing down, down, down.

_"Kagome-sama!"_

Sharp as steel, the claw bit into her back. There was no time to scream in shock, in pain. There was no air to breathe, no air to feed sound had any attempted to tear from her throat. There was no world, because it had slipped into darkness, brightened only by the sight of one of her white long sleeves flying outward as she twisted, smacked forward with the sharp end of a jagged knife. Her eyes went wide, unseeing. There was no pain as she fell onto the hard stones.

A light sound echoed in her ears, close. The sound of glass falling onto stone, ringing slightly as though it had been dropped, but not quite hard enough to break. Soft, glittering lilac light formed in the center of her bleak tunnel vision, coalescing into a ball of white fire before her eyes.

It was going to be taken. All her efforts, both before this nightmare began and now during it, in vain. The coveted Shikon no Tama would be swallowed up by some arachnid she had never heard of. How pointless.

Kaede was still screaming her name. To get up. Alone.

Her transparent fingers slowly curled around the ball, and she prayed.

_Someone...please...it can't end this way._

As the thoughts slid across her mind, a whistle broke through the air. Light accompanied it, brightening the darkness and piercing it with a single ray. Her mind clouded, Kagome turned up her heavy eyes and saw a single, white fletched arrow protruding from the reeling body of the monster called Utagai. The panicked flailing of legs and body was enough signal for the accompanying creatures to speed forward, to attack, to aid their leader.

Metal jangled and the smell of blood exploded into the air as a chain scythe soared through the sky and sliced as it passed overhead. Its almost musical ring was accompanied by a second jangle, the repeated whistle of an arrow, and the thwocking sound of its impact into the cephalothorax of Utagai, just behind the blinding eyes.

There were dark blurs on the edges of Kagome's vision, growing thicker, but streaks shaped like people were dissecting the secondary threats, while more white arrows sailed into the air. Silken strands began to spin out and up, catching the winds as Utagai attempted escape, all torn through by one well placed arrow.

A heavy crash sounded the end of the battle. All else was was turning to pitch.

Kagome could feel her red blood seeping into the whiteness of her clothes.

* * *

_Oyasumi nasai- Good night!_  
_Utagai- doubt_

Er, not quite a cliffhanger. Since there are more chapters, I think you all can pretty well guess Kagome is going to survive her injury. ^^;

Early on, before seeing the filler ep. 87, I wanted a large spider youkai around...or at least, a lot of spider youkai around...as a connection to Onigumo's scar. Of course, this is kind of a moot point now. But Utagai still worked as far as plot and things go, so she didn't get cut out after all. I also got to this scene and realized I never picked any name for her...I also was going to have her be male, but then I thought about it and went, uh, duh, male spiders aren't nearly as dangerous...so Utagai turned into a female. When I went to pick a name, I picked up my Japanese-English dictionary, opened it to a random page, and the first word I saw was 'doubt.' It seemed to fit the story. So, for a bad pun...Kagome has now been literally stricken by doubt.

Special thanks to my wonderful beta Mina Maxwell for helping me find out what kind of skeletal structure a giant rampaging spider youkai would have. Apparently the correct answer is chitin. ^_^

Chapter music this time includes: _Stabat Mater _and_ Romance,_ by Sasha Lazard, from her _The Myth of Red_ cd.

And this time...an omake! (Can you believe it for an angst ridden fic like this?)

Til next chapter, _To Be Your Happiness_

~Queen

* * *

~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~

The gleaming light of the jewel glittered across the faceted eyes of the youkai, turning her head to fixate on the object of her desire. The single, slender arrow in Kagome's hand seemed like little more than a willow wand, decorated with white fletching.

Kagome, wielding her wand, suddenly knew exactly what to do. She'd read about it before. With a great cry, she shouted, "_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

And the furious giant spider was suddenly suspended in midair.

Utagai: Where the hell is this in the script!

Kagome: It's omake. I get to win here. (flashes victory sign) See? It pays to be literate.


	9. To be your happinesS

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_Not your past,_  
_but your present is what I seek,_  
_carefully winding back on its fragile thread_  
_Please take me there_  
_I want happiness_  
_-from Clover, by Clamp_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 8- To be your happinesS

It was so dark. It was also warm, though there was something cool mingling with it, somewhat damp. Yes, damp. Not soaked, but wet enough and cold enough to raise her skin into gooseflesh. There was also a pleasant, if distant, humming sound vibrating in the air, dispelling some of the tension on Kagome's face. Mama hummed sometimes, when she was working around the house, cooking dinner or cleaning something. Was Mama there? She tried opening her eyes to no avail. They were heavy, weighted down and felt slightly gummy. The humming paused for an instant, then resumed as some of the coolness on her back was removed, and replaced with a tender pulling sensation that was enough to make Kagome jerk her eyes open rather than ease them upward.

The humming abruptly stopped at the sound of her gasp, and she heard a calm, "Can you see me?" A head was tilted downward so that Kagome, finding herself laying flat on her stomach, could, with her head turned, see a slightly sideways face presenting itself to her. Her first response was to jerk back in alarm, causing Kikyou to raise her eyebrows. "You're safe now. The fight is long over."

On Kagome's back, the stinging subsided as she held herself completely still, letting some memory flood back into her mind. Kikyou was taking care of her. Why did that seem, for some insane reason, to make sense at the moment? That wasn't exactly normal. Oh, that was right...nothing was normal right now. She groaned as the first of several dull waves of pain washed through her head. Opening her lips to speak only made her aware of how cottony her mouth felt. Her face puckered up, and an instant later she found Kikyou pressing a shallow bowl full of tea to her lips, while tentatively raising her upward, without turning her on her sore back.

Sweet, almost sickly so, it was enough to rinse out her parched tongue and let her speak. "What happened?"

Slowly, she was returned to the floor and the futon she was spread out on. Her white arms were now tucked in to her sides, and she could feel the presence of bandages on her back. Something big, something painful. A spider. That was right. Sharp, like a knife.

"You were faced with the missing youkai from the battlefield," Kikyou began heavily, beginning to move with her medicines again. At her knee rested a fresh poultice, and Kagome winced at the thought of having it wrapped onto her. "Shinju, Anshou and I-"

"Anshou?" Kagome asked, trying to place a face to the name, and failing.

"Shinju's husband. They accompanied me back to the shrine."

Kagome tried to nod, and closed her eyes in acknowledgment, then dragged them back open. She was so sleepy, and felt so heavy all over.

The poultice was applied, and the feeling of the mashed herbs in their bindings were enough to snap her back to wakefulness as Kikyou continued. "We arrived just as you fell, which was fortunate."

Fell. Yes, she fell...fell getting to... "Kaede! Is Kaede all right?" The thought made her try to move, and she was instantly subdued by a shooting pain across her shoulderblades, collapsing her back to the futon.

"Stay still," Kikyou ordered, placing a calming hand firmly but gently on top of the poultice. "There was no poison to dilute, which was extremely fortunate, but the wound was still deep. Lie still or you may risk opening it again. It has been closed."

The memory of the bladelike leg of that spider...Utagai...slicing into her faded insolently back in. She could feel the keen sharpness of it slashing her clothes and sliding into and up her skin from behind, and the sudden feeling of warm blood. Much deeper, and her spine could've been severed. She shuddered at the thought.

A moment later, Kikyou began talking again. "Kaede-chan is well, considering what you two faced. She has a few bruises and scrapes, and I've told her to take it easy for a day or two, so she's sweeping the yard right now. Shinju and Anshou left this morning. You've been asleep for nearly a day. The rest of that night, and almost all of today. It's evening now. If you feel like staying awake awhile, I can light a couple candles in a few minutes, when the sun is down."

The heaviness warned her against wakefulness. "No," she licked her lips. "Just...tell me anything else...I want to sleep."

Kikyou brushed an errant lock of hair out of Kagome's face so that her eyes could focus where her neck could not turn them. "Your bow is being mended in town. It should be repaired in a day or so."

What was she forgetting? Of course. "And the tama? The Shikon no Tama?"

A curious smile almost formed on Kikyou's face. It was as she had expected. First Kagome wanted to know what happened. Then when she did not mention Kaede, Kaede became her next concern. Last, and only last, came a query about the tama, the reason for all of this in the first place.

"It is safe, back in its shrine where it belongs."

"I'm sorry."

That elicited Kikyou to arch an eyebrow. She could take a fair guess as to what Kagome would be apologizing for. For her short time as the defender of the tama, she had managed to break her bow and nearly loose the object she was defending to a dangerous taiyoukai. It wasn't as though she could flippantly turn the mistake aside and assure her everything was just fine; no, had she and the two taiji-ya not appeared, there would have been severe repercussions. Also, though, Kagome fought her best. Perhaps then, leaving the tama behind was a mistake, but that was one Kikyou had made, if it was a mistake at all. Somehow, she felt it was not.

"Kagome, why did you stand to fight?"

"Eh?"

Kikyou looked thoughtfully down at Kagome, who was giving her a perplexed look, hands tightly gripping the matting of the futon as best the pliant fabric would allow. Her knuckles were white with tension. "Why did you go to help my sister?"

Her confused expression remained, and Kikyou observed this carefully. She was honest. No far flung idealism, no logical precision or calculation as to what that youkai may have been planning. So she was unsurprised when Kagome managed her response. "Because she needed help?"

The smile that was burgeoning finally gave way, and Kagome was startled to see the expression grace the usually grave features of the other miko. It was smothered by a hand a moment later, and there was a sigh. "You know of how dangerous the tama is, Kagome. Why stand and fight with a broken bow and no offense or defense if you knew you stood little to no chance of winning? Are you reckless or are you aware that by running you would have betrayed Kaede to her death, with the Shikon no Tama in your hands?"

It took a moment for the full impact of that statement to reach through her injury befuddled mind and take root. Had she run, she would have left Kaede to die, either selfishly preserving her own life or claiming that her duty towards protecting the tama were more important. To both, she knew better. It would be a foothold of corruption, her guilt on the tama, for a successful Utagai to begin with. She'd seen the pattern played out a thousand times by Naraku, to blacken shards. Sango-chan defied it when she refused to kill Kohaku. Being Kikyou or Kagome did not matter, since both cared for the young girl. How different was knowledgeable abandonment compared to Naraku's desire to see Sango kill her brother with her own hands? Had Kagome actually been Kikyou, the parallel grew even stronger. Sister and brother. Sister and sister.

Utagai, though her arrival was somewhat abrupt, was apparently not a complete fool if she could emulate schemes Naraku would not create for another fifty years.

The dawning of realization formed on Kagome's face, and Kikyou waited until she seemed finished mulling it over. "Do you understand?"

Kagome's hands tightened on the futon again, loosened in wonder at the scope of the thing that had almost happened, and how narrowly it had been avoided. "Yes."

"Do you want to try something to eat?"

She managed to shake her head negatively. "No. I might be sick."

"Then sleep. Kaede will be coming inside to sleep soon, too, so you'll have company."

Kagome winced as she tried to pull her arms under her head as an additional pillow. The shot of pain distracted her for a moment and sent the edges of her vision into darkness. She managed a faint nod of agreement, and her eyes began to droop shut again as Kikyou stood, her red clothes rustling softly in the quiet of the evening. The little sound turned to mute silence, and before she drifted off to sleep again, she vaguely realized that Kikyou meant to not be there the rest of that evening.

With a weary sigh, Kagome turned the page and began skimming over various bits of information about the history of the Tokugawa period. Her books remained sitting in her bookbag the last few days, and with lack of things to do, there in Kikyou and Kaede's home, she had pulled one out to simply occupy herself while alone. Chikara came to visit her once a day, spending about an hour each of the two times so far. Kagome assumed her rapidly returning appetite was her body's way of coping with what she could only guess was a great deal of blood loss in her system after her injury. The last two days had been spent mostly prone on the futon, with Kaede running around and making sure she was properly bandaged, fed, and cared for, with Chikara giving her a respite in the middle of the day. She had slept almost an entire day more after her discussion with Kikyou, and woke to find herself feeling considerably better. Her only times upright until now were long enough to drink down miso soup and eat whatever it was that was being provided for her.

Her back was stiff as could be, but there was no intense pain every time she attempted to twist to see someone over the last couple days. Today, though, the third day after her first awakening, Kagome was sitting upright and getting downright stir crazy. She'd been hunting shards for too long, and was getting anxious from staying in one place now that she felt a bit better. Her back was sore but bandaged tightly, and Kikyou, upon her last inspection, said it was healing cleanly without infection.

The history of the future...or at least, what was the future to these people, not exactly to her...wasn't particularly riveting. So she yawned and sighed and wished for something to do.

"Kagome-sama?" Kaede's bright voice called through the doorway, a moment later drawn aside by the smiling girl, brandishing an altogether too familiar item in her hand. "Look what's finally done."

Setting aside her book, Kagome blinked, then sighed with a small smile. Her bow was finally repaired. Thick cord had been wrapped up the length of the wood to keep it banded together. She was surprised, though, that such a nasty break could still be mended. It didn't matter. It had become her bow, the way her usual bow was in her sengoku jidai. Accepting it from Kaede, she quickly strung it and plucked the string, sending a resonating musical hum through the room. "Thanks, Kaede-chan. Do you think I could go somewhere to test it out?" she asked hopefully, thinking that maybe Kaede would be easier to convince than Kikyou. She had to get out of this room.

Kaede knelt down, folding her arms and shaking her head, looking up at Kagome with wide eyes. "You'll just pull your back and it'll hurt. I don't think practice is that good an idea yet."

Kagome sighed again. Kaede-chan sounding like Kaede-obaachan again. "I'm just getting a case of cabin fever in here...I'd really like to get out for awhile."

"Cabin fever?" Kaede repeated, puzzled.

"Eh...when you're stuck in one place too long, and you want to go outside?" Kagome tried to explain, waving vaguely at the four stout walls of the hut. That Kaede seemed to understand, and she rocked back onto the balls of her feet, mulling it over. "With the windows open, I can tell it's a nice afternoon."

"It is..." Kaede admitted reluctantly. Then she shrugged and plopped down to the floor on her butt. "No practice, or onee-sama will be mad. But we can go down to the lake if you want. The irises are blooming, and onee-sama and I usually go down this time of year. But with everything that's been happening, neither of us have had time to gather any." Seeing the politely attentive look on Kagome's face, she elaborated, "It can be good for medicine. We make some fragrances with it too. And pomanders. Stuff like that, with the blue ones. They're really pretty right about now. It should be safe, since onee-sama said she wouldn't be going too far from the village."

"More excursions around the outer areas?"

A grim nod. "Since that Utagai youkai is gone, some of the smaller ones are starting to come back into the area, since she chased them off, I guess. Onee-sama's been keeping an eye on it while you've been recuperating."

Sure she was. Out all day, by herself. Alone. Right. Kagome's lips twitched into a jealous frown for a moment, but fortunately Kaede was looking around the room and still talking, now about a picnic and what food to take. "It shouldn't take too long to make a couple onigiri and things to take with us for dinner. We can be back by nightfall, and tomorrow we can start pounding some incense and things outside."

Forcing herself to pay attention, Kagome agreed wholeheartedly. "That sounds great. But I've got a few things as far as food already. We can eat some of this," she explained, hauling over her lightened backpack, her books scattered around her. She rummaged through for a moment, pulling her clean school uniform from off the top. It had been days since she'd worn it, instead opting for the clothing of the miko. Yet it remained with her things, the uniform. There if she needed it, there if she wanted it. Slowly, she set it on her lap and withdrew a cup of instant ramen noodles. Kaede-obaachan, of the few times they'd eaten Kagome's trail rations in the village, had liked the chicken kind, and she had some cups of that. It was logical that Kaede-chan would like the same. Inuyasha would be furious if he found out that they'd eaten all the ramen themselves...but Inuyasha...wasn't here. So then they would eat it all. Without...

"Kagome-sama?"

When she started, realizing she was staring at the cardboard cup, she smiled nervously. "It's ramen. Instant ramen. We can cook it up pretty quickly with a fire and all. It's easy." She spoke quickly, wishing she could hide her sudden nervousness. "We can carry it in my bag."

"I'll carry it," Kaede emphasized, looking a bit more the stern grandmother now that Kagome seemed to have snapped out of her reverie. "You can take your bow, just in case."

She chuckled lightly in agreement, plucking the solitary string again, emitting the same low note into the air. Out and about. Fresh air. "That sounds fine."

It took them several minutes to collect everything they needed, as well as empty Kagome's bag of everything but ramen and cooking utensils. Kaede looked like she was about to be swallowed by the volumous yellow folds of the bag once it was strapped to her back, loose since most of its contents were bottom heavy. Kagome carefully situated her quiver of arrows over her left shoulder only, cautious to avoid the tender area of her back and right shoulder that was wrapped. Her bow was in her hand, tightly held.

Kagome followed Kaede as they walked silently. It was a beautiful day, as Kagome had supposed by looking out the windows several times while trapped indoors. The stiffness that remained in her back made her walk more slowly, but it was fine with her now. The snails' pace let her tilt her head back and look up through the leaves of the trees in the forest, dappling her face with light and shadow both. She could see blue sky above and white clouds wisping through the upper atmosphere. Looking up for so long through began to make her shoulder ache. Such a beautiful and violent world, full of contrasts.

It wasn't too long before they reached the river, and a few minutes later, they drew up to a clear area of shorter grass alongside the narrow, pebbly strip of sand at the lake. High cattails screened the quietly lapping water at the shore, a light wind waving them. Among these, Kagome could see the beautiful blue petals of the irises, open to receive the sunlight and drink it as their own nutrition, the cattails not stifling enough sunlight for themselves.

Kaede ran to the water's edge after setting down her burden, and Kagome sat and cooked, warming up the chicken flavored instant ramen and stirring it once she got a fire going with some flint Kaede had insisted on bringing. Of course, a small lighter was tucked away in one of the pouches of the rucksack, but not using the flint Kaede was so careful to pack would have made her feel bad about it. Besides, she'd used the older methods plenty of times now.

Smoke from the campfire rose into the air with the scent of the cooking food, lingering. By that time, Kaede had uprooted several of the rhizomes, and the weaker cyan petals were strewn about them by the time they were done eating.

It was the most relaxing time Kagome had since she had arrived in this sengoku jidai. All other days were filled with work, with pain, with finding things...people...who she would rather have safely tucked away in the past. These were not supposed to be problems she dealt with. Now they were hers, since she had to live among them, even if it was for only a short time. And she hoped with all her heart it was a short time. Perhaps once things were finished...once Kikyou took her fatal blow and Inuyasha fell into his sealed sleep...she could go home.

Was it really just that simple?

No, of course not. Maybe it was easy to think for a second, but knowingly allowing one person to die, and another to be shot in the heart over a trick was not a simple thing. It was never a simple thing. She felt sorry for them. Had things not been how they were supposed to be...would she, her soul, as Kikyou, lived happily with Inuyasha? There was no way to say for certain, yes or no. A scowling, annoyed part of her scolded that of course they wouldn't be.

But of course, it really wasn't that simple. And she should know when her jealousy was speaking instead of her head. Kikyou claimed she wanted to drag Inuyasha off to hell with her. If Kagome let things happen...was that not the same thing? Keeping him just for herself?

She made an annoyed sound, trying to weave some of the flowers Kaede provided into a proper crown. They were getting tangled, and she unwound them to keep them straight. Kaede's was forming a perfect ring in her nimble little fingers, eyes intent on her work and ignoring the new sunset that was blushing the sky. Maybe if she used something sturdier...her eyes fell on the cattails. That could be cute. Some of the younger, smaller ends woven into the loop.

Kagome's standing up caught Kaede's attention, perking up her head to see what Kagome was looking for, and the mess of blooms that were cascading from her lap at her rising. "What's wrong?"

Frowning, she looked around the campsite, mostly tidied up from the meal that still had Kagome full. Without the entire group to eat and share, the food lasted a lot longer, and she'd ended up with a bigger portion. "I'm going to cut a couple cattails. Where's the knife?"

"I can do it...you sit, or you'll..."

"Pull my back, I know, stop sounding like an obaa-san," Kagome suddenly bit her lip, realizing that could sound a bit harsh. She tried to smile and make it into a joke. "Gomen, Kaede-chan. I'd just like to do it myself...there." The knife was resting inside one of the small stacks of empty cardboard cups. Wiping it off on the edge of the cup, she checked the blade and turned it over before glancing at Kaede again, who now had a worried expression on her face, brows skeptically puckered together.

"Are you sure, Kagome-sama?"

"I can cut a couple cattails. It's not like I'm going to be pulling those long stalks out of the water like you with the irises." She pointed with the knife to the pile of lengthy roots to Kaede's side, knotted with string to keep them together. They too would be taken back to the hut to be made into whatever medicines Kikyou thought they needed. Kaede's skirt was still slightly damp from standing in the water so long, even if it had been hitched above her knees. "I'll be careful."

Kaede looked at her warily and agreed, reluctantly watching as Kagome headed down towards the marshy area, the reeds rising around her while she slowly stepped into the water.

It was cool, and made Kagome's skin tingle slightly as she edged forward into the reeds to reach into the thicket of cattails. Only a few of the blue irises penetrated the thick growth of plants, hanging instead to the outer fringes and enough room for their roots to sink and grow. There was a slight wind, barely enough to set the water to rippling, causing Kagome's shadowy reflection to ripple and blur. She used the knife to break apart a few of the cattails, the browny green stems cracking at the edge's sharpness. A handful collected, she straightened, glancing behind her momentarily to see Kaede's attention again occupied by her weaving of flowers, a little smile on her intent face. Kagome smiled in turn, looking back out to the slowly rippling lake. Peaceful.

It was sunset now, golden light piercing through the trees on the far bank and turning the sky to a crimson color. Low, against the water, there was some motion that caught her wandering eyes, a skiff being poled at one end towards a dock at the lake's end. There was a good distance between the girl hidden in the reeds and the figures aboard the boat, but these floating figures were distinct and clear to her vision as they glided to a stop and climbed out.

Both were figures of red and white; of red clothing, of white clothing, of dark hair, of light hair. Two different people, two different people she knew, one named Kikyou and the other named Inuyasha, moving alongside each other. The perfume of irises and water, so gentle a moment before, suddenly became cloying.

Kikyou stepped out of the raft, and Kagome saw her stumble suddenly, pitch forward and be caught up against the pole Inuyasha was holding.

And then, instead, he was holding her.

The handful of cattails Kagome had collected slipped from her hands and fell into the passive water.

To be there...to see it...to bear witness to that moment...Kagome winced, turning away sharply from the scene playing itself out before her, her gathering forgotten. She knew such a moment in time had to occur for Inuyasha and Kikyou to make their respective decisions: Kikyou to bring the Shikon no Tama, Inuyasha to decide to wish for his humanity.

She stumbled half a step away, splashing quietly in the reeds as she tried tugging her long hakama from their snagging fingers.

The sounds alerted Kaede. "Kagome-sama?"

Kagome lifted her head quickly, a pained expression still apparent there. "Ah...sorry, Kaede-chan...I'm such an idiot...I should have listened. I pulled my back, you know?" Mincing forward, she was met at the water's edge by a concerned and scolding Kaede, who helped pull her out. "I'm such an idiot..." Kagome repeated numbly as tears began pricking at her eyes, wanting little more than to go home.

"It's probably not that bad," Kaede sighed, "Here, Kagome-sama, lean on me. There's not much to clean up. I'll look at it when we get home, but I'm sure onee-sama's bandages held. Come on, don't cry..." she urged weakly, trying to smile to get Kagome to cheer up. "I'm sure it hurts, but it'll fade with some time. I'll make you some willow tea when we get back, all right? That'll ease some of the pain."

It would fade with some time...maybe. Unless time suddenly seemed so irrelevant. But what else to do? What else to say? I don't want to be here? I didn't want to see that? Kaede, your elder sister loves the same person as I do, even though we technically aren't supposed to meet for another fifty years? I want to go home? I want to sleep? I want my world back?

Kaede slowly lowered Kagome down to the grass, which she clutched tightly. Instead, she managed a weakly, "Okay."

"It'll be all right," Kaede encouraged as she began quickly packing up, stuffing some things into Kagome's backpack to make carrying them easier. "Let me get you home to lie down. You'll be feeling better again by tomorrow, you'll see."

She had seen Inuyasha and Kikyou together before. But this was not before. That was not a living, breathing Kikyou...she could tell that she was breathing, now. What were they saying, now that they had embraced? She knew what promises they would exchange. The time was coming, coming quickly. Onigumo would not live much longer, not without the drastic measures that must be taken to become Naraku. Inuyasha would make his decision to stay with Kikyou...and then she would bring the tama to the field, trusting him. Believing in him.

Tomorrow. It would have to be tomorrow.

Quietly, as she shredded the grass clutched in her hands, she answered Kaede's last comment. "I'm sure I will, Kaede-chan..." a small smile forced its way to her lips. "I'm sure I will."

One way or another.

* * *

We're getting down to the end of things, now. There will be one more chapter until the fic is complete. The last scene in this chapter is also an anime based scene...I don't believe it's ever shown in the manga, the exact moment that Inuyasha decided to be with Kikyou...at least, that's how I read the scene watching it in the anime. It seemed like a perfectly fitting moment to use here, as a pinpoint.

Chapter music for this time includes: _Blue Light and Adagio_ and _Transfiguration_ from _Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within,_ and _Flames, _by _VAST._

_Riddle of the Day: Do you still believe Kagome will take advantage of her situation and kill Onigumo?_

Until the final chapter, 'Her Apotheosis.'  
~Queen


	10. Her apotheosiS

_Through A Mirror Darkly_

_

* * *

_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_  
_If I smile and don't believe_  
_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_  
_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_  
_Hello_  
_I'm still here_  
_All that's left of yesterday._  
_-Hello, Evanescence_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 9- Her apotheosiS

There was a softness in the grey dawn, wrapping coolly around Kagome's slender arms, like a blanket that had yet to be warmed by the presence of a body. Grey and not clear or clouded, it was accompanied by an equally gentle tune, rising and falling with the slight breaths of the singer, a young miko, a young woman, sitting at a window and looking outside and forward to the dawning of a new day, that would bring so much change to her life.

Or end it.

There were no words to the tune being sung, only a soft rhythm that had lost its lyrics, flowing into the silence of the grey air, sometimes accompanied by the light chirping of dawn rising birds that lived in the many sacred trees around the jinja, their roots locked together like the possibilities for the future...somewhere, those roots twined with those of the Goshinboku, the tree that connected the two times the girl who was not really asleep lived in.

Kikyou was a dim silhouette in the frame of the door, the dim light padding against the slats in the weaving of the drapery, though the light was not enough to create lacy patterns on the floor as yet. There was only the shapely shadow of the miko, head resting against the doorframe, reclining, knees tucked up to her chest, an arm wrapping around them, the other reaching up to touch the weave soundlessly, trailing fingers across the soft light that was managing to pierce the dark.

The music rose and fell, cadence changing with the whim of the miko who continued to hum it. Kagome kept her own breathing as steady as she might, even and without the unsteadiness of her thoughts, as not to alert the silent figure at the doorway, to keep her from knowing that her future self was wakeful and thinking, not deep in the world of dreams.

Kagome could not tell, in the greyness, if Kikyou was smiling. What could she be imagining, right then? Right there? Sitting at the doorway and looking outward? Was she anxious? Nervous? Afraid, happy, content? Her soft humming, her soft music...these were not actions of an unhappy woman, but one looking forward towards something, perhaps something secret, towards a promise made that she was placing her hopes and dreams in. No thoughts of betrayal would be coursing through her thoughts...perhaps some fear that he would change his mind, would not appear. But appearing and tearing into her with claws, no, that would not be a thought in her mind. That was too violent, to abrupt, to shocking a change in the demeanor of a man who had held her the evening before. Who promised to love her, live with her.

It could still happen. One thing, one thing needed to be changed, to have Kikyou meet Inuyasha in that field, and not some imitation that would shatter the image of one person she did trust and love. Kagome felt the pain in her back, the slicing feeling of sharpness that knocked her to the ground and kept her wounded for days. Kikyou was willing...and had, in Kagome's mind...followed Inuyasha into death from wounds not so different from her own. Kagome had lived, Kikyou had died, their difference existing in who had inflicted the wounds.

Was Kagome willing to die to save someone she loved? That answer was simple. Of course. It was not a matter of willingness, or ability, but of what had happened. Both Inuyasha and Kikyou had been pulled into a trap. Neither knew of Naraku or his existence. Kikyou was injured, and upon returning, saw Inuyasha...the real Inuyasha...tearing apart her shrine. Her home. Her sister was wounded in the attack, the people she cared for and protected hopelessly flailing around in attempts to stop the desecration of their place of worship. If any thoughts of a mistake existed in her mind, if any thoughts of wanting to talk, if even for a moment, existed, they would be wiped away by the crime she was witnessing.

Kagome reminded herself not to sigh. Inuyasha could be such a stubborn idiot.

What would she have done, in Kikyou's place, had it been Kagome standing there with the bow and arrow and the blood flowing from her shoulder, ready to shoot and pin Inuyasha to his fate on the trunk of the Goshinboku?

As Kagome, she didn't think she could fire. But then, what would the consequences of that be? Inuyasha would swallow the Shikon no Tama, and it would mingle with his youkai blood and his eyes would turn red and wild and then...then she knew what Inuyasha would be like, without restraining his youkai blood. There was no Tessaiga to be in his hand.

Could she shoot, knowing that was the inevitable result?

For a moment, she closed her eyes, and the blackness behind her eyelids seemed too dark. She opened them again to the greyness of the early dawn. She struggled to reach out with her mind, to feel that horrible, familiar youki that meant Naraku was in the area. There was none. Still, it had to be today...Kikyou's anticipation of this particular morning and the scene she witnessed last evening proved that. He was here...possibly being created even as she lay on her futon and deliberated about things happening now, happening fifty years ago. The youkai would be pouring into him, devouring what little soul Onigumo possessed and pitching him into darkness absolute.

Should she pity Onigumo, for his wounds? Perhaps she did. Had she stumbled across a man identical to him in her normal journeys, with Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku and Shippou at her side, he would have been a nonentity, a nobody, another random human man with evil intentions. Had he or a band of thieves like him tried to bother them, it would have likely been a little thing to deal with them. Inuyasha would slash a few times, Sango would throw hiraikotsu, Kirara would transform, and, if that didn't work, Miroku would just open the kazaana for a few seconds. That usually scared most bothersome people off.

But then, she knew that in the future, history would be made up of random, human men who were just following orders.

And what of Sango, Miroku, and Shippou?

Shippou...it was hard to say, whether or not Hiten and Manten would have been capable of attacking and killing his family, regardless of the shards they had found and used. Though would they have set off on their initial rampage without the shards to add to their power? The chances stood that Shippou and his family could have survived, either defending themselves or escaping the battle before it began. Kitsune were reputed for survival skills.

Sango...her family would live. Presumably, her family would continued uninterrupted until the time Kagome was supposed to arrive in the sengoku jidai. The taiji-ya were years...decades...from their downfall. No Naraku, no deception, no destruction. She would live, as a taiji-ya, and Kohaku would never fall prey to Naraku's manipulations. He would be able to live as he chose, as a taiji-ya or as the peaceful boy Sango would paint him as when she spoke of her younger brother. There was, in the end, no way of knowing whether Kohaku would have any kind of happy ending, should their story eventually run its full course.

If she could only return to that story, and escape this one.

Miroku. Surely he would never be cursed. Would Miroku-sama even be born? Without his family line being cursed in the first place, would his grandfather and father ever go around asking that ridiculously infernal question to every woman? Assuming they did...Miroku had to have picked that up _somewhere. _His entire family line, unlike Sango's, would be changed.

And if her two friends never met? She plucked silently at the cloth of the futon, watching the fuzzy shape of her finger move back and forth nervously. They obviously loved each other, despite it all...she just wished they'd just confess it already. Kagome didn't want to break that apart. And yet...there was still no definite saying that, in fifty years time, both would not exist...that Sango would not still be a taiji-ya, that Miroku would not be a wandering sukebe houshi, and that they would not meet in spite of things. True, the chances lowered greatly...but then, what were the chances of a girl falling into a well and being pulled through centuries of time?

Anything is possible...though she supposed some things were more likely than others.

Why was she here? Was it to change things? Or to make sure they happened as they had? Though that was such a horrible thought...that her stopping a few days ago at the cave, of recognizing it, of knowing what could...and was...inside...if she had not stopped, Kikyou would have continued past the cave entrance, never found Onigumo, never felt betrayal, never blamed Inuyasha mistakenly. Onigumo would have died a bitter, wounded man, alone with his viscousness in a hole in the ground.

If that were true...then Kagome was already the source of all her friends pain and suffering. Having not completed the Shikon no Tama, not having lived through it all...her future knowledge meant very little. She didn't know if everything would be okay in the end...if Sango and Miroku would end up with a dozen kids and the sengoku jidai version of a white picket fence, if Kohaku would be revived, if Inuyasha would ever really, completely, truly love Kagome, and allow Kikyou to fade gracefully into her grave.

Kagome buried her face in her sleeve for a moment, hoping it would muffle the sound of her slowly growing heavy breathing, as she drank in oxygen to keep herself from either crying or breaking into a nervous sweat. No, she couldn't be the source of the entire problem in the first place...it couldn't work that way. Even though it already did...stupid Souta, stupid Buyo. If her goofy cat and her timid brother hadn't been playing around the wellhouse, she would never have been here at all. Maybe that was as random as her arrival in this sengoku jidai as well.

The humming paused for a brief moment, and Kagome held her breath, hearing the clothing Kikyou wore shift as she changed positions. A moment later, the sound resumed, and Kagome slowly relaxed. It was a pleasant tune, now imprinted into her mind. The same several sets of notes repeated over and over, sometimes slow and lilting, sometimes faster as though it were some theme to be played for a story. It was easy to lose herself in the sound and forget.

Could she go? Could she go to the cave when Kikyou stepped out that door? Go to the cave with her bow and arrow, and shoot the newly born Naraku? Could she say goodbye to the life she had accepted as her own, despite how terrified she was? So much evil done, all so easily undone, if she released her arrow and let it fly true to the mark.

She was willing to sacrifice her life, to save someone she loved.

To save many people she loved.

Golden light first slipped under the curtain at that moment, gliding across the wood of the polished floor, slightly scented like irises, from the flowers that had been collected the day before. A pile of roots were set on a narrow table by the far wall. She told Kaede last night that they'd stay in that day, and start pounding the pomanders, since she didn't know how to properly steep the roots for medicines. Kikyou was silent, and when asked to help with the boiling, had politely replied that she had some duties to attend in the morning, that may end up effecting the whole of the day. That had puzzled Kaede, and Kagome had managed to smile politely and bury her face in her futon.

There would be no making of pomanders or perfumes, and no medicine making that day. Kikyou, with the golden dawn, was standing, hesitantly, her mood radiating through the air and across Kagome like a tenuous touch. She kept her head low, a hand carefully holding the coverlet to her cheek, cloaking any slight opening of watchful eyes. She heard Kikyou take a deep breath, and then there was a rustle as the drapery was pulled aside, and she stepped through to begin the day.

And so it had begun. A moment passed, then another, as Kagome waited for Kikyou's silent steps to wander far enough to keep her ears from hearing Kagome's movements. She flipped back her cover, pushing herself to her knees and then to her feet to look around the softly lit room. Kaede was a small lump in the corner, one arm flopping out to the side, eyes closed to the world. Kagome slipped to the doorway, pulling aside the curtain and standing in the shadow of the doorjamb to make herself less easily seen, if the miko happened to be glancing behind her. She was not. Kikyou was standing now at the bottom of the steps to the shrine housing the Shikon no Tama, a hand forming a fist at her throat, chin tilted upward as she looked towards the door. Slowly, her hand extended, coming to rest on the railing, and she moved forward, disappearing into the building.

With Kikyou's disappearance, Kagome's fingers released the curtain, and she stepped further inside.

Sit and wait...or go and see.

Her palms itched. Kaede's breathing filled the room. Her bow lay next to Kikyou's in the corner, their quivers of arrows sticking out like quills leaning beside them. Her yellow rucksack was beside her futon, the top flap open, and she could see a flash of green and white through the gap, where her school uniform was peeking. She rubbed her hands on the soft white nightdress she had been lent, then clutched it. She couldn't stay here, one way or another. Not now. She'd be jumpy, too jumpy, if nothing else, knowing what was to happen, knowing what was being created in that hole in the earth not too far from here.

It took only a few moments for her to quickly slip into her school uniform, tug her brown loafers out from where they had been squished in the bottom, and slide them on her feet. She kept one eye on Kaede during her dressing, to make sure the younger girl wouldn't waken and ask why she was wearing her other clothes. It felt strange to be back in the short skirt and sailor collar, usually so familiar. She smoothed the pleated skirt and arranged the red scarf at her neck. Then her bow was in her hand and her arrows carefully over one shoulder, avoiding her wound.

Then she disappeared through the door.

There was dew on the grass, and droplets of water were crushed underfoot as Kagome steadily walked her way forward. Behind the home of the Shikon no Tama, through what was soon to become Inuyasha's Forest. Towards the river. From the river, the lake, and if she walked far enough along the lake and then across the grassy field, she would reach another arm of the forest, and with it, the maw of the cave. That tune Kikyou had been humming danced in her mind, and before long she was humming it to herself. The arrows rattled cheerfully in her quiver as she moved.

The woods drew slowly apart, the breach between the lush foliage growing larger as she drew closer. Blue-green grasses reached up to her thighs, wavering in the wind. It was a beautiful day, bright and sunny, with only a handful of clouds in the sky. The breeze was crisp and cool, scented with water from the nearby lake. It was an ironic setting.

When Kagome arrived halfway across the sea of grass, she felt the first, roiling wave of youki, emanating from the place she had chosen as her destination. Hoping to find somewhere among the trees, she realized it may be already too late to hide herself. The aura of the youkai seemed to pulse, and another wave clouded over the little floodplain. Glancing towards the forest, she could see movement there, small youkai fluttering among the branches, apparently trying to decide if they should join in with the rest that were being consumed...rather than consuming.

She continued forward a bit further, her steps growing heavier, as though weight were being added to her shoulders, pressing her heavily down and trying to prevent her from closing in on the cave. She could see its mouth, black and covered in moss and short, scraggly grasses, opening at the top of a rise in the land.

One small, blackish winged youkai flapped wildly away from the cave, though its progress was slow and awkward, as though diseased. Cautiously, Kagome reached behind her and nocked a white fletched arrow, the bow pointed downward, but ready to be lifted. The creature dropped to the ground a length away from the cave, dead.

Youki was pouring from the hellmouth now, thick and gross, though invisible. It wasn't the blackish miasma she was accustomed to seeing around Naraku, but something weaker, newborn though still rancid. There was a stirring at the entrance, something emerging into the light for the first time. Kagome braced herself, wishing she were a few moments earlier, with time enough to disappear into the woods and watch.

The figure that emerged staggered as it walked. Shreds of white bandages were hanging loosely from its body, remains of the bindings that had covered Onigumo. The man that stood there now had used the blanket Kikyou placed over him as clothing, tying it around himself like a sarong. He stumbled into one of the boulders and hid his face with a hand, blinded by the sunlight of the day, and his shoulders heaving in attempts to breathe with the mishmash of body parts that had become his lungs. A mass of black hair barely covered his head, wild against the rock he was using to clumsily support himself. His legs caved in with his next step, and he collapsed onto the ground, a ragged heap.

It was a pitiful sight. And for a moment, Kagome began to feel pity for him, the way she had when she saw the ruined, burned mess that was Onigumo.

Until the wind carried to her the sound of laughter.

Kagome grit her teeth, fighting the urge to scream. Her arrowhead was pointed forward, forcefully, ready...one shot, one shot, one shot. No pain, no suffering, no death, no manipulation, all gone, all vanished. With one shot, one sacrifice, just one, hers, and the bastard would be _dead!_ And it was _hers!_

His coughing checked her, deep, lungful coughing made her hesitate, snapping her back to reality. He was groping again, a hand searching for something to cling to. He found a log, overturned and jutting from the ground. He pulled himself upward, upright, and looked out on the world for the first time with blood red eyes.

Those eyes widened as they saw the solitary figure across from them. One, slender girl with long black hair and eyes that should have been soft, training an arrow on him. The pained expression from the light in his eyes was replaced with a curve on his lips, a twisted little smile. One scared little girl, with a little arrow. That was all it would take right at that moment, to kill him. Strength...he needed to grow stronger. Quickly. Or not survive.

That little smile brought back some of that rage she remembered. She swore aloud she'd never forgive him for what he'd done to Kohaku...and promised herself a thousand times she'd be there to see him at his death. When he began struggling to his feet, the arrow's shaky uncertainty resolved itself, and became steady.

"Naraku! Stop right there!"

The man froze, still supporting himself against the tree log, and turned his eyes to her again. The trembling that he'd seen a moment before had evaporated. "Naraku? Ah...me," he said cautiously, surprised at the depth and timbre of his voice. Everything was so new, so strange. There was something his senses were telling him about this girl...power, yes, she had some power...power to kill him. More than that of just an arrow. Much more. She was someone...someone he knew. From before. He lowered his head slightly and watched her from narrowed eyes. "Naraku...I like that name."

Whatever it had been about those words seemed only to infuriate her further, and that power he could feel began to grate as it expanded against his senses, painfully. It was bright, too bright, and it hurt much more than the sunlight on his dark adapted eyes.

Her teeth were clenched tightly and he saw her bow begin to waver again. Whatever drove her to coming here, at this particular time, was conflicted. He took confidence in that as strength began to grow in his body, healing with the speed of the youkai it was composed of. "Why are you here?" Naraku lifted a hand slightly, motioning towards the arrow. "I've done nothing to you, and you're..."

_"Liar!"_ The trembling in her hands grew fierce, and there was pain on her face, tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes. "You...you're a murderer...and a thief...and a betrayer. You tricked Inuyasha," her voice cracked, "and Kikyou...and stole the Shikon no Tama! This is _your_ fault!" The final words grew pitched and wild.

Kikyou...yes...something about that name...something glowed in her hands, something he wanted very much...he could see it through eyes that were not his own, and knew that the sparkling object she cupped was the Shikon no Tama, knowing it with knowledge that did not belong to him, but to hundreds of others, all less than him, Naraku. Yes, he wanted that thing...that jewel, the Shikon no Tama. Very much. There was power there, it could make him strong. But there was this silly girl to bypass. He wasn't strong enough in body, not yet...he had to escape with words. Inuyasha...Kikyou...were these people she knew? Cared for? Kikyou...yes, that name was more important...regardless of the nonsense she was spewing about him tricking her. Though, he supposed, it wasn't a terrible idea...

Silkily, he asked, "And who is this...Kikyou...to you, to care so much?"

With those spoken words, she let fly her arrow.

_"I am Kikyou!"_

Lilac light bloomed from the metal tip of the arrowhead, soaring forward wildly and slicing through the air with a scream. Naraku's stance that had been growing in strength faltered, and he reeled to the side as the purifying arrow blazed its way beside him, embedding itself into the shallow earth behind him.

It was the first time in his life, and would be, for a very long time, the only time he truly felt fear. Struggling to rise again, his gaze met hers, and in the grey blue of this girls' eyes, he could foresee his death. She would be there. Present, watching. And with the same look of loathing and anger. He was afraid.

Another white fletched arrow was already prepared and ready on her bow. The next one would not miss...the next one would not be a warning shot, though why it was only a warning, he did not know. Perhaps something of that conflict within still held her back. He could feel her concentration on him, the focus. There was hatred there...fury. Righteous fury.

One shot, one shot...Kagome kept breathing, hearing her heartbeat raging in her ears. One shot, stand up, bastard...stand up. How dare he goad her like that. Responsible...he was responsible for everything. Not her. Not Kagome. Naraku. It was always in choosing who to blame. Like everything else. Miroku-sama, Sango-chan, Kohaku, Kikyou...Inuyasha.

Was her life a fair sacrifice for peace?

She wasn't afraid.

Her friends...her family.

Farewell? Forever?

All of it could be changed. Every moment. If she could let go of the arrow. Release it, let it fly. Choose to say goodbye to the life she loved...

On the ledge Naraku stood, tense, sight trained on the tip of that arrow. His life rode upon it.

And then...it lowered.

Imperceptibly.

Impossibly.

Relaxed.

Those anger filled eyes never let his go. Not until he turned. Not until he ran. And disappeared, vanishing into the darkness of the forest.

Time did not exist, not in that span Kagome stood in the grasses, her eyes still on the empty place that Naraku had abandoned. Her decision was made; the monster was gone, one way or another. Gone to destroy the lives of Inuyasha and Kikyou, to alter forever that of Kaede-chan, by stealing away her elder sister. Was it right, to let things happen as they already had? Was it right, to let him go, with the knowledge of what was to come? She had done it, Higurashi Kagome. Her future was her fault, not Naraku's anymore. She had the power to change it, and instead chose to live her life over again, exactly as it was. Both hers...and the small remainder of Kikyou's.

Why?

Kagome looked down at her hands. The smooth crescent of the bow rested in her open palm, and the stiff feathers of the arrow were twined between the fingers of her other hand. She ran her thumb over the prickly edge, and found that there was no sensation. No feeling. She pressed harder, and found only that her fingers had become ethereal, passing through the solid matter like those of a wraith. Slowly, as her hands became more ghostlike, the bow slipped through her palm and fell lightly to the ground, disappearing into the grasses. The arrow joined it with a wooden clatter. Then there was only this moment, connected to many other moments, as her hands grew transparent, spectral, though when she thought to move them, they flexed and turned the way they always had.

The quiver on her back slipped down and her remaining arrows scattered on the ground, free from their constraint. She felt like light.

Was this supposed to happen, then? Maybe it was merciful. Maybe she would forget. She wouldn't have to stay and watch Kikyou seal away Inuyasha...where she would be going, there would be an Inuyasha waiting for her. With the rest of their ragged little company.

Because, in the end, she believed in their future.

Then there was nothing in the field but the wind, blowing away an unwinding illusion in the form of a young girl from the future.

Inside the small shrine of the Shikon no Tama, Kikyou cupped the shining jewel with warm hands, lightly, knowing that soon it would be gone from the world. Inuyasha would be at her side, and Kaede...she wasn't sure how Kaede would react to the change that would be coming to their quiet little family. Another face floated on the edge of her thoughts, and, curious, she reached out in an attempt to catch it, though it fled from her memory. Vaguely, vaguely she felt it was a younger face, wider eyed and perhaps with fewer burdens. Perhaps her own? She was not sure, though the shadow was in the likeness of one of her yesterdays.

Today would be unlike all other days. Today, with this cursed tama in her hands, there would be a new beginning, and despite the swiftly fading memory of one she should remember, she smiled at the thought.

Today, everything would change.

* * *

_fin._  
_(and arigatou to you all)_

_Riddle of the day: Did Kagome make the right decision?_

_

* * *

_

complete: 3/23/03


End file.
